this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2026
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[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

A man walks past a news stand every day but never buys a paper. When asked, he says he's looking for an obituary.
When told that obituaries aren't on the front page,

"The one I'm looking for will be."

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 16 points 2 days ago (5 children)

You know shit's bad when Americans start telling old Soviet jokes.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Trump is the oldest soviet joke in the land

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[–] thethrilloftime69@feddit.online 83 points 2 days ago (2 children)

When he dies nothing will change. The system that birthed him will still be here.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 26 points 2 days ago (1 children)

MAGA is cult of personality, and when he assumes room temperature, who's left for them to impress? They loved ONLY him, and they despise literally EVERYBODY else. The knives will come out, and the backstabbing will begin. It will be glorious.

[–] thethrilloftime69@feddit.online 30 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The MAGA movement may end, but American fascism will continue in another form. The contradictions of capitalism will continue on.

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Agreed. AOC said this really well a few years back. I don't remember her exact phrasing, but she said something like, "He can stay, or he can go. But either way, the conditions that led to this situation remain."

That's one time I wish she was wrong, but she's not. Once they find another figurehead...

And let's face it, there's about a 75% chance that the next Democrat, assuming there is one, pardons everyone in the name of harmony or something.

[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Probably, but I'm still gonna get hammered and set something on fire. Nothing will keep me from expressing my joy on that glorious day, even if it is temporary. Besides, isn't all joy temporary?

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[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 20 points 2 days ago (7 children)

When he dies, he will no longer be in the way of changing that system.

[–] thethrilloftime69@feddit.online 30 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Yeah but all those other people are still in the way. Every CEO and every billionaire will have to die the same day.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 29 points 2 days ago

Don’t threaten me with a good time.

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[–] nexguy@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Would world wide celebration be respectful?

[–] Ulrich_the_Old@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I have been a musician for decades I am setting up my sound system on my front lawn and I will be throwing a block party to celebrate his death.

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Play Ding Dong The Witch is Dead and No One Mourns the Wicked

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I'll be blasting some afrobeat because it's great to dance to but yeah. We've had some good fuck off songs for decades

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

When the righteous prosper, the city rejoices; when the wicked perish, there are shouts of joy.

Proverbs 11:10

[–] qjkxbmwvz@startrek.website 37 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Asetru@feddit.org 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Don't know if I even can be that disrespectful.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My bladder capacity isn't measured in tons.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 53 points 2 days ago (6 children)

We should agree right now to make the day of his death a national holiday.

[–] CobblerScholar@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Nahh thats too much, let the bastard be forgotten. Seems a more fitting punishment for a narcissist

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[–] ArmchairAce1944@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 days ago

Why on earth would anyone be respectful to people like Trump and Stephen Miller when they die and their souls are dragged to hell?

For many many decades (maybe since ever) fascists and conservatives were never respectful and many would just go 'good riddence' when they see a progressive pass away. Fuck em'. Also fuck the guys who claim 'there will be retaliation'. It is like when bullies and the adults who support them don't want victims fighting back or standing up to them will somehow only escalate the violence, or in my case they would make me look like the asshole and basically say 'how would you like it if they did that to you?' When they have been doing it to me countless times before I decided to talk back.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 days ago (7 children)

If this refers to the orange Russian cum rag, then my first action upon hearing of his demise will be to walk into the nearest pub and buy everyone a round.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago

Me too! The bars are going to make a killing.

[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Neither my wife or I drink.

But there's a bottle in the back of the freezer just for one special occasion.

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[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Netanyahu and Putin too. horrible old entitled disgusting white men

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Lol.

I'll be in the streets banging on pots and pans and screaming "DING DONG THE PEDO IS DEAD".

I'll take this parade down the street to the one dipshit in my neighborhood still rocking Trump trash in the front yard and just stand on the sidewalk celebrating while laughing and pointing at the house.

Which reminds me. I need to sign that dipshit's address up for battered spouse pamphlets.

[–] arcine@jlai.lu 8 points 2 days ago

Unless he dies (as he should !) of public execution, not much will have changed.

[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

The day it’s announced that Donny has passed away will be the 2nd Independence Day for America and most of the world. The 24hrs following his death will be very interesting to watch especially from the view of his cult members.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 6 points 2 days ago

I got a bottle of whiskey set aside, and a friend planning a party.

[–] spaghettiwestern@sh.itjust.works 37 points 2 days ago (1 children)

There will be worldwide celebrations the likes of which haven't been seen since the end of the 2nd World War.

[–] RonnyZittledong@lemmy.world 30 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I imagine the Ewok celebration at the end of Return of the Jedi

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I'll honk and cheer at any memorial with people around it that he's dead and thank god. Fuck these people and decorum, they weaponize it.

[–] Stern@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I will be celebrating the opening of the Donald J. Trump unisex bathroom.

[–] Jayve@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

The Donald J Trump Memorial Sewage Treatment Plant and Landfill.

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 27 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I’m shooting off fireworks when it happens

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[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 25 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Remember that he is but a symptom of a bigger problem that will still remain.

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[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Is drunker than shit on the most expensive whiskey I can find respectful?

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[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 days ago

That's a "Liberation Day" I'm dearly waiting for.

If you make an arrangement with your beer vender, they will let you put money down on a keg so you don't have to wait in line when the day comes. You don't want to be caught without libations for your BBQ just because you didn't plan ahead.

No. It will become a national holiday. Introverts will leave their solitude to participate.

[–] Hello_there@fedia.io 17 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Someone start making Trump Died LOL shirts and hats now and cash in when it happens

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[–] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Here’s a good marketing idea that some wine makers could do:

Come out with a champagne (sparkling white wine) called “WHEN HE DIES.” On the label, express that it should be purchased and held onto to pop the cork at the moment you hear the good news that “he” has died. Don’t say who. But make the label spray-tan orange.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

When he dies the celebrations will be massive

[–] thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I've been saving money since 2016 to throw a gigantic bash on that day. I also save 3 vacation days each year just in case he kicks the fucking bucket during the week. I think about it often.

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