Oh, I'm going to add this one to the watch list. The "it was an onion headline but then it became true" watch list.
this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2026
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The Onion and other satire w/ layers
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I ate it.
No shame. I had to check the community first.
Dammit… 🤦♂️
Fuck this timeline!!!
Almost bit into it.
Its funny how far they have to go to achieve satire and even then my wife was like. Did he actually say that. I mean there is the cocaine thing recently.
I ate the onion here.
Yeah this is way WAY too plausible.
One of these days bro is gonna drink his own piss just to show is how healthy he is. I know it.
I don't know... It's pretty hard for The Onion to make an outrageous headline that isn't also kind of believable these days. I'm not sure this one is more ridiculous than some of the things he's actually said.
I bought it until I saw the community.
I know it's satire because the real RFK Jr. would say that putting babies in hot cars would cure the baby's autism caused by Tylenol.
So like, this is funny. I understand that.
But also I have to wonder whether the Onion publishing this might lead to some baby actually dying, because people are really that stupid.
[nasal voice over intercom] Has patient number 13 reveived his sedatives yet?
Shaking them vigorously also helps get the toxins out.
Onion has been getting me for almost 20 years now