this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2026
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Me (13 years old at the time): Dad, Mom’s cheating on you. I saw her making out with this man.

Dad: Listen here, princess. The guy’s filthy rich, and when you have money, it’s normal to have a hot mistress like your mom.

Me: But aren’t you jealous?

Dad: laughs

I was flabbergasted, lmao.

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[–] AcidiclyBasicGlitch@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Had a high school friend who relied on the pullout method bc condoms made things "too awkward." After a close call with a person (I'll call them X) who's life was full of drama:

"Don't get me wrong, I'm very prolife, but if I found out I was pregnant with X's baby, I would get an abortion."

I must have made a face bc she then quickly tried to clarify "If it was Y or Z though, I would keep the baby." 🤦‍♀️

[–] OpenPassageways@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago

That Democrats were aborting babies after they are born, and that immigrants are eating our cats and dogs.

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

I listened to a video yesterday about the beliefs of sovereign citizens. These whackjobs think the Untied States isn't a country but a corporation and that they don't have to obey laws if they opt out of membership. They believe laws about driving only apply to transporting goods and that otherwise you're merely "traveling". And other such nonsense I'm not sure how to explain

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

There's no such thing as a flu vaccine, that's why they call it a "flu shot"

I haven't taken anything this person says seriously since then

[–] halcyoncmdr@piefed.social 86 points 4 days ago (4 children)

That doesn't sound like cheating, that's more like an open relationship. He knew about it and didn't care.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 42 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

The financial incentive makes it closer to pimping than swinging, at least potentially. Idk if the possibility the dad was getting something out of it besides, I guess, sexual pleasure stemming from cuckoldry makes it better or worse...

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[–] Kcap@lemmy.world 40 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I own a bar and before we opened I reached out to one of those novelty vending machine companies that sells weird stuff and gags. The guy came down to meet to discuss the design of the machine etc, super nice guy. His daughter came too, she was an artist and was going to paint the machine. They sent mockups and got to work, everything seemed good to go ahead of our opening.

A week before we open, I reach out to see when they want to install it and I get no reply. I try again a few days later and get a very formal message to the effect of "we're super sorry but we're not going to be able to pursue this opportunity at this time, best of luck". I'm pissed that time was wasted, the machine was finished, I had seen final pictures with our logo and design etc. I figured maybe they got some bigger offer from like the local stadium to install a machine that they couldn't pass up.

Months go by, I've found another company that's working on a new machine for us. Original guy texts me "hey, are you at the bar, I'd love to stop by and explain what happened." I start to tell a customer at the bar about what happened and I'm like, I don't wanna talk to this guy in my mind, and I look up, and he's standing outside the bar in the rain. He comes in, and he looks like he's been to hell and back.

He's so different this time, very soft spoken, tail between his legs vibes. He apologizes and said they had a family issue that prevented them from moving forward, but they working on getting back on track. I feel bad and trying to be empathetic, and then the guy goes, "I'm sorry, but my wife just didn't want me working with you because of David."

"Who the fuck is David?" I reply. "David Devolla" he says. I have no idea who he's talking about. I've never met his wife, or this David person. Then he goes "wait, can I ask you a weird question? Are you straight?" "Yeah man..."

"GOD DAMNT, SHE DID IT AGAIN" he said. I'm so confused right now. He then proceeds to tell me that his wife has been battling psychosis and having major mental issues. Apparently, this David guy was her former boss that fired her, and even though I've never met her, or David, and am straight, she was convinced I was having a secret gay affair with David and told her husband he wasn't allowed to do business with me. What the actual fuck. Dude started creeping me out big time. He came in again a week later and told me he was driving to Vegas the next morning to marry his wife because even though he said they were married, they never actually were, and he believed doing so would fix her mental state. I follow them on Instagram still and I can tell you, it did not. She posts the absolute weirdest nonsensical things and it's honestly entertaining to watch but also sad as hell. Bullet dodged, the new company is so so much better, but yikes all around. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

[–] mitkase@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Marrying someone to fix their issues is a lot like having a kid to save a marriage.

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[–] shyguyblue@lemmy.world 64 points 4 days ago (2 children)

The Aunt that never finished elementary school once told me:

"I don't believe in evolution, because I didn't believe a baby could be born smarter than its parents"

I was 10-13 years old at the time and just didn't have the patience to deal with that level of stupid.

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It bothers me that Creationists somehow think failing to understand Evolution is the same as debunking it.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard "No that's not evolution, that's just an adaptation."

[–] shyguyblue@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Ugh, that's exactly why it's impossible to argue or even educate them, their definition is so skewed and the complete and utter lack of critical thinking skills.

PS: I'm gunna use that: "Your failing to understand is not debunking, it's only showing your complete and utter ignorance/stupidity..."

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[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago

Not necessarily unhinged, per se, but I knew a former very high ranking military IED specialist who would sweep the white house and places where the president would be going to before they showed up, every chance he got he bare ass farted on the Bush’s pillows.

He ended up being a pretty shitty guy, but I’m still going to give him Chad points for that one.

[–] noseatbelt@piefed.ca 67 points 4 days ago (2 children)

My coworker once started a conversation by casually asking if I'd ever "done anything" with a cousin. Obviously the conversation ended with him revealing he'd fucked his cousin and me saying WTF progressively louder and louder for at least a minute. I work from home now.

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[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 54 points 4 days ago (4 children)

My bio father just passed away. I was talking to his best friend of 45 years, basically his brother, and he casually dropped he was raped as a boy. I had asked about my fathers sister, because a lot of that family is scattered and a mess, the daughter of the sister "something happened" is all I know. And he said molestation, and then that he too, was molested by a man as a boy. I was really proud of the 68 year old mam telling me that.

But fucking, add it to the list. Men need a fucking 'me too' because I know so, so, many.

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I really hate the idea that rape is just "Something that happens to women"

I'm a trans woman, but when I was sexually assaulted I was an 11 year old boy. Nothing was ever done about it, because it was another boy that did it and "Boys will be boys"

[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 21 hours ago

I'm sorry that happened. It's not boy's will be boy's, and it clearly doesn't just happen to women. It's important we hear everyone's story, and hopefully create some meaningful change in society at large.

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 30 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Men need to learn to talk about their issues in general. My pops was brutal when I was a kid. It wasn't until I grew up that I finally understood that he was made that way. His own dad basically destroyed him.That didn't excuse all the terrible things he did but it did explain it. It was hard to be angry with him after that. I felt sad for him. That's a heavy load to carry all alone.

As a rule, I try to never justify someone's abuse by saying that person was abused themselves. We must all do what we can to stop the cycle of violence.

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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 47 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Probably not the most unhinged but a few weeks ago a coworker told me that Trump is the only president in history whose net worth went down after becoming president.

He's not FAR right so I usually hear him out and use kid gloves to counter his arguments but I involuntarily replied, "are you out of your fucking mind?!"

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I actually had a friend be baffled by me saying Gavin Newsom was a neo-liberal, he swore that Gavin was this ultra leftist and by not liking him I "proved no one's Left enough for me."

Fuck me for wanting a President who doesn't meet up with Charlie Kirk and pals on a podcast to talk about how transpeople eat puppies.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He's what the right thinks of when they think of a democrat. Very corporate

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I thought when the Right thought of a Democrat, they thought of a purple haired hippie wearing a pussy hat and a health mask on a college campus who wears his pronouns on a name tag at all times.....a caricature that doesn't actually represent any group that actually exists.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

The voter has blue hair, the politician wears the suit

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

We likely went from no actual money if you include all the loans to a literal billionaire from the presidency. His crypto bribes alone made him more money than he previously ever made. Now he is suing the taxpayers for 10.3B dollars.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

The only point I made before we had to move on was "he made hundreds of millions on day 1 with his meme coin"

There's like a hundred things he made money on immediately

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[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 64 points 4 days ago (11 children)

Oh jeez... heads up: a lot of racism and very vile unhinged shit being described: (seriously, it's gonna make your blood boil if you read this, last warning):

So my older brother is a racial supremacist and hates black and brown people.

And I already know what you're thinking when you hear the term "racist": "must be a white dude in southern rural US"

No, no no no. We are a family of immigrants. We are non-white. We're from China.

The first time I heard about this was like sometime around 2017 to 2020. My older brother was complaining about African Migrant workers living in China... a country he no longer has citizenship status in... because he went through the US citizenship process to become a citizen of a multi-racial immigrant country...

So... to reiterate: a non-white immigrant is complaining about other races in his ancestral country that he has no citizenship in... let that sink in...

Literally "White Replacement" Conspiracy Theory, but replace the term "White" with "Han Chinese".

He complains about ethnic minorities in China "getting special privilages" (aka: "affirmative action") 🧐

So he dislikes CCP, not because of human rights violations against minorities... no no no, not that, but because CCP is "doing too much to help minorities" (in his view at least, whether or not the CCP actually help minorities in reality is a whole another thing)

He believes there's a secret plan by the CCP to replace China with African Migrants because of the population crisis... so he thinks the government just wanna fill up the loss of population with random foreigners...

And he calls black people "cockroaches" that "keep spreading too much" by "having too many kids"

But guess what: HE FUCKING COMPLAINS ABOUT TRUMP BEING RACIST AGAINST ASIANS 🤦‍♂️ fucking irony lmfao (he's a registered Democrat... I'm pretty sure... supports progressive polities when it comes to wealth, but opposes progressive social policies... so... a social conservative but fiscal liberal??? (is that even a term?)

Dude is so fucking lost into conspiracies, they make my parents look like saints. My parents used to be very prejudiced, but eventually come to be more accepting of multi-culturalism and the idea of living in diversity after spending so much time in the US. And now my mom has to be the one to shut down my brother's bullshit rhetoric he spews in the livingroom.

Oh, also kinda anti-vax about the Covid vaccine, but somehow okay with a tetnaus shot when he stepped on a nail.

And this is this is also the brother that abused me as a child... constantly fighting me... then want to play with me when bored and has no friends to talk to... then wanna fight me and discard me after he uses me.

Seriously idk why he even became a US Citizen...

The only reason he didn't vote for trump (or so he says, it's not like I know what he marked in his ballot) is because he isn't white, had he been born into a white family, he'd totally vote trump.

I'm so glad, I didn't end up being brainwashed by those insane beliefs, jesus fucking christ.

No idea where the fuck he got that shit from... so fucking vile...

But then again, he was abusing me when I was around 5 or 6... he used zipties to restrain me when he deemed me "annoying", played with fire at home, maybe his psycopathy is a gene, maybe a gene that luckily I didn't get? Random mutation?

Idk... my parents aren't even this vile in their worst moments, must be a random mutation. Or maybe its environment. Or maybe the internet's fault.

[–] 87Six@lemmy.zip 43 points 4 days ago (8 children)

Every post you make makes me wonder how the fuck you're still alive, my man

The strong sperm won lol

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[–] ReiRose@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago

I had someone tell me on a first date that they've been in love with their younger sister since they were teenagers. There was no second date.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 22 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I once sat a bar, having a drunk chat with a guy, who went from your basic "you know what would fix the world? Fluffier dogs!" type talk into "you straight women have it easy, you never have to control yourself when there's some sexy 14 year old chick around".

I was far too drunk to give him the proper reaction, but I wasn't nearly too drunk to get the fuck out.

I find nothing more sus than a man who thinks a desire to commit statutory is normal.

I legit don't get it, why would you even want a sex partner who is underdeveloped and inexperienced even if there was nothing morally wrong with it? (Which there most DEFINITELY is something morally wrong with it)

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

"Stop thinking so much"

  • random professor walking by me
[–] LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I was watching Young Frankenstein with some friends in college in a secluded part of the student center and some rando came up to us and told us, in great detail, about how her cousin raped her repeatedly when they were younger.

Young Frankenstein was ruined for me and I still can't watch it a decade later.

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

"Ma'am, this is a Wendy's"

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 26 points 3 days ago

I had a psychologist tell me at 13 that boys my age shouldn't be interested in sex.

[–] Marshezezz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 42 points 4 days ago (6 children)

My mom suggesting that I take meth for a common cold because “the body would be sped up and burn the germs out” was pretty up there.

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[–] Canopyflyer@lemmy.world 26 points 3 days ago

Christmas about 4 years ago, my brother went completely around the bend.

His house was the place for our family, my sister-in-law's family and some family friends to meet for Christmas. Just before Christmas that year he started texting me about Rittenhouse and how he admire the guy for defending himself. Fast forward to when we were at his house, he would only talk about how important the 2nd amendment was, how he admired Rittenhouse, and to top off the shit cake he admitted to being member of the Oathfuckers, breakers.... Whatever those fucking idiots call themselves.

He was aggressive about how his worldview was correct and that I did not know what I was talking about. He had been ramping up his power plays over me the past couple of years and I just let it go to wait to see what his "big" play was going to be. Apparently this was it. He even attempted to rewrite family history as well. We had a paternal uncle that died in the Battle of Leyte gulf and I knew well the family history and did a bit of research on my own to discover what really happened to him. World War II records are not exactly state secrets any longer. Well, because my brother was a big wig at the Veteran's Administration and had all kinds of government clearances yada yada yada, HE had the real scoop, which conflicted somewhat with what I had read.

My god you would have thought I shot his dog he was so pissed when I attempted to speak about what I had learned. To this day I don't know what his play there was, it was just utterly bizarre.

His final power play was he TOLD me, not asked, but TOLD me he was going to teach my two boys about guns and how to shoot. I had to tell him FOUR FUCKING TIMES that NO, HE wasn't teaching my kids shit about weapons.

My wife works in Pediatrics... That's not going to fly. Not to mention I've already given them instruction on how to handle firearms in case they come across them for what ever reason. They can pick a gun up, check the safety and clear the chamber of both automatics and revolvers. Sure, they may not be able to shoot the dick off a fly at 400 billion yards, or strip clean and reassemble a 1911 in under 3 seconds blind folded, under water with depth charges going off less than 6 inches away while humming the "Battle Hymn of the Republic". But they can keep themselves and those around them safe.

Needless to say that was when I punched the big red button and went nuclear on our relationship. Our father died about 2 years after the above event and I had not been in contact with my brother, or my Dad. Dad was being taken care of by this brother, so when I cut that relationship, so did my relationship with my Dad... Which honestly his attitude was going much the same direction anyway. I didn't even go to Dad's funeral... Which was completely bizarre.

You see our Dad was in the Navy for 4 years back in the 1950's. Dad talked about that time and he seemed to have liked his time in the Navy, but it just something he did to get out of his small hometown in West Virginia. It was never a career goal and he spent his entire time as a medic. To see my Dad's funeral you would have thought that his entire life was spent in the military. My brother made it an entirely military funeral with troops, 21 shots and the whole thing. I understand the military does this for all veterans and I don't have a problem with it, except my Dad didn't identify as being a military person AT ALL. He was in the Navy 70 years prior and while he would tell stories and use his medic training on occasion, it was never a part of his personality.

Needless to say I'm very glad I live 400 miles away from what is left of my original immediate family. I miss my sister-in-law as she is a very sweet and caring person and their son. I really wanted my boys to know their cousin.... Oh well.

[–] rafoix@lemmy.zip 30 points 4 days ago

I worked with a guy that told me that he would start shooting Democratic politicians if his wife left him. He was a hardcore Republican Mormon from Orange County, CA.

[–] Yprum@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago (9 children)

I think I've heard more unhinged things that the one I'm about to mention, but the others are from drunk randos making shit up or over sharing I don't know. The one that really hit me is not as crazy but it still pisses me off to this day and it is far more serious than that drunk guy telling me about how he used to masturbate on the backseats of all buses he could get into.

I've had an issue with my legs since birth, nothing bad and in fact went unnoticed most my life. Just how my knees are built. Never caused a problem until in my twenties I started getting into the gym. A bad trainer (student doing practice) in a gym recommended me some exercise after I asked for something to change the routine. Long story short, I fucked up my knees, even longer story shorter, a doc specialized in legs and specifically knees told me my options, from which the most reasonable at the time was surgery. Surgery for both knees, 1 first, then recovery then the other. A total of two year plan for it.

Mind you the problem was a physical one about the angle of the bones in my knees. A long time friend of my parents, who works as a researcher and teacher of biology in the university of my city called for whatever reason and my mother told of my leg problem.

This person decided that it was excruciatingly important to ask that the phone is passed to me, to tell me not to go to surgery. Risky, dangerous, and completely unnecessary, when I can have a completely safe alternative. Take some homeopathy pills they said, that will get your knees fixed without issues. I was so shocked coming from that person... Mind you I was in my twenties, so not an entire idiot, and I knew a bit about homeopathy... Having read "bad science" by Ben Goldacre (highly recommended by the way) and got into a spiral of alternative shit and research on the stupidest things people get into. I even have an official diploma from Boiron that they basically gave to anyone who cared to answer some answers right about homeopathy back in the day and that it was incredibly easy to hack (wrong answer? Click back and you could try again, in fact the points for the diploma were stored in plain sight in a cookie that never got reset, I ended up with like 120 points out of 50, there were only 5 questions by the way). No security needed as it had no fucking value like the rest of homeopathic stuff. Or is it less security means more secure in homeopathic terms?

Any way, I'm getting derailed, this fucking person tries to sell me into the homeopathic shit to fix the angle of my knees... I was so shocked I couldn't even answer. Just said "okbye", gave the phone away, and asked my parents to never ever put me in the same room with that idiot. It's been manybyears now and so far I've succeeded in avoiding ever seeing or hearing of that person.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So, homeopathy is based around the whole "hair of the dog" type thing. Like cures like and other silliness. What the ever-loving fuck would be in those pills? "Essence" of bad knees? Hip dysplasia gel? Powdered bees' knees?

[–] Yprum@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Indeed, you are absolutely right. But how do you compare what is like another thing? The original idea of homeopathy was more straightforward in this sense, it wasn't "like cures like", it was more "if you were poisoned with x, then a solution of that x element in really small doses will cause you to recover". With all the shit I give to homeopathy (because nowadays anyone thinking homeopathy works has no excuse), I have to admire it just a bit in its historical context. At a time when "actual" doctors were trying to heal people with bloodletting and washing hands was not really a thing before stuffing them in someone's wound... Someone came up with an idea that actually was causing less damage than the doctors themselves were, and the idea, ridiculous as it is with our current knowledge, is not far from the actual idea of vaccines. We just know that a small dose won't heal you, but it might make your antibodies adapt and learn how to fight something negative. If you think it through, it is not entirely far from that basic starting point in homeopathy. Of course they took it to the limit and then became bullshit. I don't remember who am I quoting but here goes "the alternative medicine that has been proven to work has a name, medicine" (I'm paraphrasing, can't remember the exact wording, but I'm thinking maybe it was the amazing Tim Minchin in one of his songs/acts?)

From that point it all went to shit and homeopathy became completely absurd because they started loosening the concepts. "Like cures like" ends up working as "I'll make some shitty comparison and because it kinda works because I say so, it is similar and will cure you".

Which is how you end up with the real fun stuff in homeopathy. I'll be talking from memory from many years ago, so take this with a grain of salt, maybe those products where fringe stuff but I'm pretty sure they were all real and sold.

Are you feeling stuck? Maybe when you are working on something? Maybe your stomach? Maybe you are stuck in a bad relationship? Don't worry, here's the amazing homeopathy remedy, a dilution of pieces of the wall of Berlin. If they managed to break through, why wouldn't you? (yes, there is a homeopathic remedy based on the wall of Berlin)

Are you feeling sad? Glum? Unhappy? Is there an idiom for it? Like for instance "are you feeling blue?"... Don't worry, here you have a dilution of the color blue in homeopathic pill form. (Yes, there's a bunch of color based homeopathic remedies).

OK enough funny shit descriptions because I cannot really see how I can even begin to describe the one based on dinosaur bones. Or my favorite, black holes. Yes, somehow they sell the idea that they have diluted a black hole effect in water... Don't ask me. I can't understand it either.

So yeah like heals like... But when you can make up the comparison it really doesn't matter.

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