This is a community in the spirit of "Am I The Asshole" where people can post their own bans from lemmy or reddit or whatever and get some feedback from others whether the ban was justified or not.
Sometimes one just wants to be able to challenge the arguments some mod made and this could be the place for that.
All posts should follow this basic structure:
Expect to receive feedback about your posts, they might even be negative.
Make sure you follow this instance's code of conduct. In other words we won't allow bellyaching about being sanctioned for hate speech or bigotry.
YPTB matrix channel: For real-time discussions about bastards or to appeal mod actions in YPTB itself.
Some acronyms you might see.
Relevant comms
Today, i couldnt upvote a post from anarchymemes@anarchist.nexus so i decided to check it out on my pc. i noticed that i was banned from the com even though i havent posted anything on the com nor the instance. i guess the reason for the ban is that i posted a meme to different comm a while ago. The meme is homophobic but i didnt know it when i was posting it. After finding out it was homophonic, i added a disclaimer to my post.
i dont think i deserved the ban, and i want to hear your thoughts.
It's a matter of degree. I think this is technically homophobic in that it exploits the shameful stigma of homosexuality. It certainly is not celebrating homosexuality. However I think it is a degree of homophobia that does not rise to actual hatred, isn't expressing the author's hatred or attempting to harm gay people, it's just expressing the latent homophobia embedded in American culture. It's fine to want spaces without even that degree, and it doesn't have to be a moral judgement to exclude it.
Wait what.
I'm queer... ... this counts as homophobic?
Like... yeah I guess you could interperet it that way, as if a candid photo of two men in bed (yes I know its not real) is just, de facto embarassing, which makes it homophobic...
But its also just a silly pun, on Bill Clinton's name.
I guess you could... say its technically body shaming or objectifies men as well, by setting up the implied juxtaposition of 'Big Beautiful Bill' to Trump's tiny ... hands.
But like... the joke does not require a homophobic interpretation to work as a joke. There are a number of other ways in which it is a joke.
Thus, its not inherently a homophobic joke.
Like, if I say that the people who did think this joke are homophobic, well they're just butthurt... is that also homophobic?
(Lemme tell ya', I've been butthurt before... but not from a joke!)
The meta joke is that this would presumably trigger extremely insecure, performative hetero male magas (and I guess hetero female magas?)... but... thats mostly just by way of implying that Trump could have done some gay stuff with Bill.
Which... in my mind, only reads as offensive... if you, the viewer, are homophobic.
So... its just trolling those people, because other people generally are considerably less likely innately disgusted by the simple idea of a gay relationship.
But also: Magas hate Bill Clinton, thanks to decades of dittohead conditioning from Rush Limbaugh, so more than it just being 'gay', its... well, sleeping with the enemy.
So it trolls magas in that way as well. Its not just that its 'gay sex bad', its the particular two participants given the uh, context of their political existences.
Otherwise, its just funny, mostly just due to innate absurdity of the idea that a former and future President would have had a gay sexual encounter of at least some kind.
(Its like, a fan fiction level plot, but apparently, not entirely divorced from reality.)
This joke works in so many different ways other than 'the joke is that gay relationships are bad and gross'.
If the only way to read it as a joke was the homophobia angle, then yes it'd be homophobic.
But uh... yeah, I see many ways in which this is funny... the homophobia angle for this one didn't even occur to me, and I'm a person who has been bullied quite a lot for my sexuality, I've heard a lot of the jokes.
The "homophobia" angle is "because you're intimating gay is bad to humiliate trump"
Which is just terminally online batshit. Being a member of the Community isn't shameful. But the idea that trump would submit to another man sure as hell is to him so fuckit.
Btw, i have aeen people legit claim that the phrase "butthurt" in and of itself is homophobic. I can only presume these people have never spoken to anyone who isn't cishet in their lives
it used to refer to being spanked like a child who did something stupid
that makes no sense to me
That's... A really gray area to be declaring homophobia and a lifetime ban, imo. One of those instances where talking it out and education would probably have been the better response, but it's not way over the line either.
Looks like you learned not to joke about straight people being gay like it's something to make fun of. Probaby should have just deleted. Still, PTB — a forever ban is a bit much, especially when you tried to use it as a teaching moment.
And yes, part of the joke is a play on Trump's Big Beautiful Bill. Part of the joke is also about being gay.
Ban is excessive and probably you should have just had a chance to learn how it's not very funny to be like "Haha X is gay, hilarious"
PTB. It's not even homophobic. In no way does the meme imply anything negative about homosexuality to begin with; it's a play on words with a twist ending.
Sometimes actions have consequences. And getting banned in one of dozens of anarchist communities on the Fediverse is really not a big consequence.
Small tip: If you truly believe that what you did was homophobic, dont put "homophobia" in quotes. This makes it seem like you are not actually using your own words and are actually not meaning it.
PTB. The joke is a "secret lover", nothing about sex or gender.
I think the meme has homophobic undertones, but it wasn't posted with the intent to be homophobic.
PTB if this is indeed the only homophobic thing you posted. IMO the disclaimer pretty much covers it, and a permaban isn't warranted if that is truly all you did