this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Poxlox@lemmy.world 7 points 50 minutes ago

Nah fuck squatters too. Everyone sucks here but squatters are just as trashy. We need to have a vacant homes penalty desperately but yeah that won't happen anytime soon if ever in my lifetime.

[–] g0d0fm15ch13f@lemmy.world 4 points 39 minutes ago

donning full plate armor and a dagger "Luckily I'm no average squatter"

[–] KonalaKoala@lemmy.world 0 points 28 minutes ago

What about hiring a bat-wielding man to scare squatters out of your vacant home by swinging the bat from time to time like Jack Torrance in Stanley Kubrick's horror film The Shining (1980) and exclaiming, "All I want to do is bash your brains in, bash them right the hell in!", to see if that will scare the squatters out of a home they don't own?

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 23 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I’d much rather make a squatter homeless than have a landlord lose property,” Jacobs added

I'd much rather make poor people without an option homeless than have a rich asshole lose some money!

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Right? Like, what in the fuck?

[–] FosterMolasses@leminal.space 16 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

We must defend the empty properties!

Also, we must solve the housing crisis by building more houses!

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 6 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

It's gonna be really funny when dude gets charged with menacing and extortion.

[–] Bakkoda@lemmy.zip 8 points 6 hours ago

He's gonna meet a former mall ninja/disciple of the sword fedora wearing meth head and he gonna die.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Totally random and off topic, but that dude looks like ~~a yoked up version of~~ Josh Strife Hayes.

Update: Apparently its been a while since I've watched Josh, he may actually be more yoked up than this dude.

Hayes has yoked up so much by seemingly working a fitness routine into his regular gaming habit that he apparently a lot of people think he's on steroids???

[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

This is news to me and now I have to go read about it because I also use to watch him???

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 12 points 10 hours ago

Everyone here sucks except the squatters.

[–] n0respect@lemmy.world 11 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

He stabbed me with a sword Mal ... How weird!

[–] haribar@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 hours ago

You can't stop the signal, Mal.

[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 21 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

These people think evil quest givers in games are role models, not warnings.

[–] Katana314@lemmy.world 5 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

I feel like this is a time to vouch for an element of a story I'm writing.

In this world, there's an Adventurer's Guild. It's named, and oriented, very much like the generic guild that appears in so many generic Anime-MMO medieval fantasy worlds. In it, travelers with weapons, be they swords or bows, complete missions for money.

As one would expect from that setup, the only people with money who ever hire the Adventurer's Guild are wealthy merchants with cargo to protect, or land developers with an excuse to enact aggression on innocent people, or anyone who can veil their murderous intent with some legal excuse. The first way the story introduces them is that a city has contracted with the Guild to use them as extra peacekeepers, and it's a horrible setup because they have no deescalation training. The guild itself lures in members with ideas that they'll "take down troublesome animals for troubled townfolk" and maybe even sometimes have those quests, but primarily, most of the other characters in the story just refer to it as "The Mercenary's Guild. Oh, I guess they call themselves Adventurers' Guild now."

It's my way of getting people to analyze their desire to kill things for rewards, which is fine for a simple game made for children, but shouldn't be part of your fantasies as you grow up.

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

I will admit to being personally aggrieved by the supposition that I'm childish for enjoying fighting things. But I believe there should be a way to interrogate the levels of critical thinking and agency people/players give away in the pursuit of an easy, "clear" target without making prescriptive, defamatory remarks about how people have fun in fiction.

[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

I am also doing my own MMO isekai thing, where the concept is that the inhabitants are vaguely aware that they occupy an artificial world. Or more specifically, they view developers and players as gods and demigods, respectively. Things like player housing are special mechanics that the inhabitants have to work around, or guild privileges vanishing if certain NPC lineages (player "pets") die out. The world in general is falling apart, because the game has long become a museum piece - almost no one ever visits, in the hundreds of ingame years that the MMO has been running. It is a story about the NPC cultures have developed in the absence of realworld humans, in a world of game mechanics.

Anyhow, I figured that I might as well mention it to you. Way I figure, we can take each other's angles and remix them.

[–] AmbitiousProcess@piefed.social 100 points 1 day ago (3 children)

“I’d much rather make a squatter homeless than have a landlord lose property,” Jacobs added.

These are the pieces of shit your politicians listen to every time they increase funding for police enforcement against the homeless, and deny zoning changes, even if it would improve the housing crisis. "theft is always bad no matter what 🤓☝️"

You have to be genuinely mentally ill to believe that someone going homeless is better than someone with more properties than they need to live in losing one of those properties so someone has a place to live.

[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 5 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

that cannot be a real quote from a real person. it just can't be.

[–] AmbitiousProcess@piefed.social 1 points 4 minutes ago

You don't believe him? But he's got the only squatter removal business with a Yelp account! /s

image

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 14 points 9 hours ago

Especially empty properties.

[–] Phegan@lemmy.world 31 points 22 hours ago

Breaking: local man enjoys licking boots.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 195 points 1 day ago (40 children)

“I’d much rather make a squatter homeless than have a landlord lose property,” James added.

Keeping it classy.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 8 points 13 hours ago

he smells like a nimby. he probably would be at the place when MILLBRAE(rich white residents) were complaining about converting a former hotel into a liviing space for the impoverished that occured like last year.

[–] johnyreeferseed@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 15 hours ago

I thought for sure I was on the onion when I read that line. Sad that it's real

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

So it was him making all those pro-landlord memes...

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