That cup has seen some shit
this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2025
211 points (96.5% liked)
Not The Onion
18716 readers
570 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
A doctor at the hospital pointed out that while inserting foreign objects into the bottom was not unheard of, they can cause immense damage to internal organs and be fatal.
These objects include baseballs, vibrators and coconuts, and could be inserted for stimulation or out of curiosity.
Coconuts?
Maybe they were like husked coconuts and could be cut into the ideal length for a 8cm diameter.
Flared bottoms, people.
The buttock pushes back until suddenly it does the exact opposite.
It's actually internal muscle movements! Your rectum is divided into two sections my a muscle known as the inner band, which isn't technically a sphincter but it acts like one. It's a long loop of muscle that goes around your rectum and anchors to the torso. When you have to shit, it relaxes and allows poop into your lower rectum. If you decide to hold it, after a couple minutes, it moves the poop back into your upper rectum and you stop getting the urgent urge to shit. However, your rectum doesn't discriminate, and will attempt to pull foreign objects deeper as well.
I don't understand why this requires a hospital visit though - wouldn't the cup emerge naturally next time the cupophile takes a shit?
When you push shit out, you're compressing that bottom section of your rectum to push shit out. (This is something you can feel for yourself if you want to stick a finger or two up your butt) You can't do the same motion with the top of your rectum, so you can't push things out of it. The inner band is hard to manipulate with external tools/your fingers. Like sure you can reach in there and stretch it a bit, but far enough for a large object to drop out isn't going to happen. If the object is too large and your inner band too tight, it's going to be extremely difficult to get out. Shit is going to back up behind it instead of pushing it out.
If you're wondering how I know all this, I've spent a lot of time with stuff up my butt.
You are right for small objects though, when I was going through puberty and exploring I used marbles in the shower, thought I had them all out, and then had to explain to my sister how I must've accidentally dropped that marble in the toilet.
Things sometimes don't come out due to shape or they lodge at a weird angle. This increases risk of bowel or rectal perforation as the body tries to push against an obstruction. Think opening a door but a desk is up against it. The cup can also break so now you'll have ouchie shards that can cut the bowel and create perforations or spill stool into the abdomen. Oh, and cause bleeding.
My trousers always have flared bottoms, I don't see how they will save me from getting cups stuck up my arse!!!
It was as million to one shot, Jerry. A million to one!
Came for this. Not disappointed.
Slipped and fell in the shower again, I see
I like that the url is just /taiwan-man-cup-anus/.
You'd think they would have rinsed it off before taking the picture
Makes me wonder how people in ye olde times worked around removing objects lodged inside their bumholes
There has to be some Roman text of a doctor bitching about this
I get it, but embarrassment could've killed this guy. If it helps, know that people have stuck worse up there and just go to the doctor.
But what if you're the case that gets pointed to when they tell someone they could have had it worse?
The "worst so far".
Think of all the people you're helping who can be like "at least it wasn't what they put up their ass." And when you go in, you know you "won" compared to this man from Taiwan!
Worse?
1 guy 1 jar comes to mind
At least he got it back out, kinda 😂
A live grenade?
Ah, the old Shady Sands shuffle.
At least it wasn't a jar
It's fine it just happens sometimes when you sit down without looking
A "minor slip-up during a 'bottoms up moment'" fits this problem to a tea.
When I got an apple up there thinking I can easily retrieve it then, I just told the doctor "yes it was me".
Anyways, use flared objects, preferrably things made for sex.
I hate when that happens!
Absolute legend.
Can someone convert that to gerbil units?
I think it's about 0.66 bunnies, if that helps.
"Ah and now to clear up this tea service on our outside porch after rain."
[10 seconds later]
"Oh dear."
Did the ever see what happened to the guy who shoved a glass jar up his ass? He’s lucky he’s alive.
That punchline was weak.
at least he didn't cause a civil war
Lol, this is like 4 posts after the ISO 3533 5.2.1.1 post for me
I hate when things fall into my anus accidents. I just can't stop it from happening! Like these things fall down the back of my pants and find a way up there all by themselves!
Have you been playing with the cartoon magnet again?
2 girls and a cup ?