this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 7 hours ago

I was a C/C++ dev for a long time. Then a while back I got an ewaste Thinkpad running Linux and have started developing in Rust. When do my programming socks show up?

[–] atopi@piefed.blahaj.zone 19 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

I am trans

Do i need to learn rust?

[–] thevoidzero@lemmy.world 20 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

I'm a rust developer, do I need to transition?

[–] genfood@feddit.org 1 points 16 minutes ago

To both of you a clear yes!

[–] atopi@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] thevoidzero@lemmy.world 10 points 8 hours ago

Good read, thanks

But I believe in generics, just write your functions so that it can work with all the types ;)

translation: Just get rid of what is a boy or a girl thing. Just let people do what they like.

[–] FosterMolasses@leminal.space 10 points 11 hours ago

Only if you like women

[–] rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.works 20 points 11 hours ago

Let's not go referring to vibe coders as developers, now.

[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 26 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

MatLab user

I like how it doesn't say "coder" because everyone knows MatLab isn't a real programming language

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

Gnu octave on the other hand...

[–] mcv@lemmy.zip 8 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

It's realer than vine coding.

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[–] mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 6 points 12 hours ago (4 children)
[–] goatinspace@feddit.org 8 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Shadow that is cast by the sins of men

[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 5 points 11 hours ago

Coffee? Idk I'm not a coder, I just know MatLab lol

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[–] QueenMidna@lemmy.ca 21 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Am a trans Rust developer. Can confirm.

[–] missfrizzle@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

I'm old and remember when all the trans women were Haskellers. now they've all moved to Rust and here I am, still toiling away with my monads and combinators, a lonely spinster. 😔

[–] QueenMidna@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago

Do I get points for being an F# nerd?

[–] lena 3 points 8 hours ago

I'm a trans woman and recently started learning Haskell :3

It's fun, I plan to eventually rewrite Lemvotes in Haskell (backend with Servant, frontend in Miso) as an exercise (and because the current codebase sucks and I didn't know what I was doing when I wrote it)

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 30 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (6 children)

C++ lets you assign variables with <%%> in case your parents were killed by an equals sign.

I have the perfect module to use this once. Most people will see it and will figure out that it is doing what it should, but no one can change it because the file will be LFS locked like 99% of the time.

[–] entwine@programming.dev 10 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

TIL about bat! Looks awesome!

[–] djmikeale@feddit.dk 3 points 9 hours ago

Bat is really cool - I share your enthusiasm! As far as I remember, the repo for bat has a bunch of example use cases that I hadn't thought of, fyi!

[–] blobchoice@feddit.uk 6 points 13 hours ago

Finally, someone gets it

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having a C# dev boyfriend would be such a boon. "hey honeyyy? unity is not doing what I want it to, can you be my rubber ducky? <3" Wait, I remebered I am using Unreal/ C++ now. Nevermind. 10/10 accurate diagram.

[–] BrokenGlepnir@lemmy.world 42 points 15 hours ago

As a c++ professor, I would never lie to my students like this.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 14 points 13 hours ago

The word for R Studio fan is "scientist"

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 109 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] navi@lemmy.tespia.org 20 points 14 hours ago

delusion was added in C++24 and we are stuck in C++03 😭

[–] Scoopta@programming.dev 14 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

C++, ew, no thanks, also where is C??

[–] entwine@programming.dev 6 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

You can't spell "INCEL" without "C"

[–] Scoopta@programming.dev 5 points 11 hours ago

😭😭😭😭

[–] AngularViscosity@piefed.social 41 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Whew! Thankfully I'm a gay JavaScript user

[–] Masterkraft0r@discuss.tchncs.de 36 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (5 children)

everybody on the internet is a javascript user! do you even develop, bro?

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[–] Miaou@jlai.lu 3 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

I started learning Coq recently. Where does that place me?

[–] entwine@programming.dev 12 points 11 hours ago

The White House?

[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 2 points 10 hours ago

It places you one year ago before they rebranded in rocq (obviously to stop the puns)

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 13 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

Me, looking between a picture of Bjarne Stroustrup and OP: ... are you sure about that?

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[–] ButteryMonkey@piefed.social 5 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

RStudio and SQL are the only ones of those things I’m aware of having experience with (no idea what language rimworld is coded in, but I’ve also only read that, not tried to modify it).

But if some dude wanted to spend a bunch of time and energy to teach me all about their burning passion language or whatever, that’d be pretty hot. Maybe not JavaScript.. ;)

Not in a “dick me down immediately” sort of way, ofc, but in a “mmmm sexy brain and sexy willingness to teach complicated stuff” sort of way. And really to me that’s a solid spring-board to “dick me down immediately” territory.

[–] thevoidzero@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago

I second this. This is how I got my wife to like me.

Be careful not to go overboard though, my wife, during the first few weeks, thought I might be hacking into her phone because I was tech savvy and we had too many weird things in common.

[–] FosterMolasses@leminal.space 2 points 11 hours ago

Matlab?! Holy shit hahaha

[–] baltakatei@sopuli.xyz 8 points 15 hours ago

I expected circular arrows pointing back towards themselves for many on the diagram.

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