this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2025
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The Onion

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[–] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 46 points 1 week ago

I remember seeing Malcom Forbes riding in a giant hot air balloon and riding a motorcycle across China.

I remember seeing Richard Branson kite surfing with a super model

I remember this guy throwing a Na$i salute

[–] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 17 points 1 week ago

The worst part is that I genuinely bought it until I saw which space this is.

With all the crazy shit so far this wouldn’t even surprise me.

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That is too high of a price

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

He'd have to dye his hair implants and get some piercings to get even a drop of cool.

[–] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 14 points 1 week ago

Honestly, I would prefer him just to have the $1 trillion. I’ve still got some self respect

Unbelievable quote for a Tesla shareholder...

[–] borth@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago

And they have to tell him they think he's smart and his degrees are real.

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Obviously fake. He’s going to take over a large country with that $1 trillion.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 6 points 1 week ago

Finally something unrealistic enough for the Onion, again.

[–] 20cello@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

I'd rather double up

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

This one gets a made me look award, seriously this timeline is garbage

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The sales targets for Elon's $1T payday are so astronomical and they've been set up in the face of enormous headwinds.

Certainly possible Elon uses the promise of a future payment as leverage on new loans, so he can continue debt-financing his billionaire lifestyle. But like so much else, this is promising you $$$ on Tuesday for a cheeseburger today. The board rubber stamped a check they have no intention of seeing cashed.

[–] AlecSadler@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

I had read they can overrule the requirements though?

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 4 points 1 week ago

Hey Elon. The really cool people died young. Just sayin' it's not too late for you.

[–] etherphon@midwest.social 4 points 1 week ago

He really had everyone fooled for a while but he just couldn't keep it together.

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

or they acknowledge his gaming skills

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

Sorry, that would be fake news.

[–] switcheroo@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Muskrat will never be cool. He will always be a shit stain. No matter how much money this parasite gets, he will always be known as the Nazi-saluting PoS that he is...