ADHD memes

In my experience, even with a diagnosis you don't stop feeling broken.

Something that pisses me off to no end is the commonly accepted idea that confidence is a momentary emotion you can conjure in yourself like a joyful laugh at a memory. Sure, for people who have had a life that structurally empowered them and rewarded them for having the brain they did maybe it is...

For someone with ADHD who has been told they aren't enough and are also too much their whole life and never had the diagnosis? You can't just make that go away with telling them they have ADHD and giving them a hug. Lasting damage has been done to that child and they may never recover their confidence in adulthood the way other people do.

I wish we would stop treating confidence like it is child's play, it isn't. If you undermine a child's confidence you have hurt that child at a more permanent level than almost any other way you can non-physically hurt them.

Especially for someone who is very sensitive about what other people think of them, which a lot of ADHD people tend to be (a lot of us rely on it to motivate us to get things done!), you can't just think better about yourself. Your confidence is like an instinct that has been learned through the summation and culmination of your experiences. If those experiences are people shitting on you for things you can't help, you won't be a confident person, period. That is how that works and I wish people would stop pretending it is all just wishy washy perspective taking that can be undone by simply thinking harder. Maybe for a very narrow range of people in a much larger subset this is possible, but beyond that? No

"What are you talking about? You're not different. Everyone feels that way, we just all learned how to deal with it ourselves."

— Undiagnosed parents

I've struggled with addiction, schizophrenia, bipolar type 1, depression quite a bit in my life. We all are soldiers in our own wars. Understanding ones nature typically leads to better outcomes than forcing cookie cutter societal expectations on folks.

Mom never took me to get tested because she didn't want me to grow up with "that label" or whatever. Jokes on her cuz I basically had that label for everyone except me and her my entire child and teenage life.

I’ve known several kids in upper elementary school who have a diagnosis but their parents won’t tell them or get them school accommodations or services. It’s just setting them up for failure.

Yeah, found out I'm Autistic this year. I'm mid 30s and it's been fucking rough.

I never understood willful ignorance, it's gotta be better to know. And to have the diagnosis, being able to access directed care, have been life changing. I went through all those feelings growing up, knowing I was different, but not having the framework to know it was ADHD and what that meant and not being able to access treatment, it was rough. My kid got diagnosed when he was 9 as soon as it was evident he likely had it as well, he will not go through the same hardships I went through.

Spot-on. I've always thought I had a deficiency somewhere. The self-blaming was very tough at times. Nowadays, whatever I am, I know I'm doing my best... I'm just wired a little differently. And life feels wholly different.

Yeah 45+ years of that....

I only found out when getting my own son diagnosed and realizing I ticked every single one of his boxes as well. Explained a lot about my youth. And yeah, feeling like you're some sort of alien who will never belong is unfortunately part of it.

I have ADHD, and this was my childhood. But I also learned some important coping methods, like how to mask. Given how resistant I am to learning behaviors like that, I'm not sure I could have done it without a struggle. Meanwhile the kids who were diagnosed had a stigma on them that I'm glad I was able to avoid.

My parents did their best with what they knew. I've got bad memories and good ones, just like every person ever.

With that said, we've decided to hold off on having my daughter tested, even though she's showing some symptoms. If she has it, I don't want that to be part of her identity until it has to be. If she starts struggling, we'll take action. Until then, it's best not to burden her.

We also got extremely lucky with her first grade teacher. She started the year with a very traditional, veteran teacher. Her seating arrangement changed three times in a month because, according to her, the other kids kept talking. But then the school said they had too many kids in the first grade classes, so they started a new class of just 13 students and moved my daughter. The teacher is brand new, just recently certified.

My daughter came home talking about how they constantly do "brain breaks" in between lessons, and other unusual things.

We went to the parent teacher conference, and this teacher is the most ADHD woman I've ever met. We did a one-on-one meeting that lasted two hours. And she's wonderful. She's the best thing that could have happened to our daughter. She approaches everything in a way that's perfectly tailored to someone with ADHD, and it sounds like the other kids love it too.

So maybe we'll have her tested next year.

I was diagnosed with Autism at the ripe old age of 33. When I told my parents about it, my mum lost her mind because I was actually diagnosed at 7, she just never told me in hopes I will be "normal" and thought she got away with it.

I'm in this picture and I developed a personality disorder because of it.

In the case of my autism I was fortunate enough to not reflect it back on myself in most cases and instead was just frequently frustrated with how shockingly fickle, arbitrary, flighty, shortsighted, and ethically inconsistent other people seemed to be.

My mom did her best to turn it inward by always telling me I was "too judgemental" but she had already raised me with enough confidence and privledge by that point that instead of crushing my spirit it just made standing up for myself extra frustrating.

I have AuDHD. I got dx at 30 for ADHD, then everyone kept asking me if I am autistic other than family after meds, it may be some kind of OCD (mom is dx), hard to say, lots of overlap. Medication just made the other stuff more obvious. Regardless, I am very, very exhausted from the rage of feeling misunderstood for so long, but happy to slow down and figure out how to work with it. It cost me a lot of people in my life, but I am far less anxious. The only problem is, trying to motivate myself without the anger lol. I still get mega pissed off with family members not recognizing it. I am trying to unlearn people pleasing.

My rationale for not having my son diagnosed is that we live in the US. I am afraid by having that label he will be rounded up and put in a camp. He is already ADHD and Tourettes diagnosed so I figured that should be enough, no point in adding on Autism when it's one of RFKs obsessions.

And fork you if you don't do it because you don't wanna be the "parent with a kid who has x".

Hey, stop calling me out!

I always thought my problems as a child were due to a bad TBI when I was 7. And it certainly didn't help, but my half century of archetypal ADD induced issues would have been nice to know about at some point in an official/helpful capacity.

But at least they don't have to go to the RFK Jr. ~~slave~~ therapy camps

I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 6 and still concluded I am stupid, weak, annoying, and unlovable.

audhd. still dealing with those "I'm stupid, a failure" every day because of that.

existing really messes you up

Other than getting access to medication, I've personally never quite understood what difference a diagnosis makes. Having an ADHD diagnosis is an explanation, not excuse. My dishes will remain undone independent of whether it's due to laziness or executive dysfunction. What matters is what is, not why it is.

When my nephew was little, he was wild. Like had to have that backpack with a leash or else if you look away for a second he was 20 yards away wild. Then he started going to school and got kicked out of a couple schools for hitting other kids because they would change the rules of the game halfway through. We heard that they got him tested but never admitted to us that he had autism, even when we all pretty much knew. I don't think they finally said it to any of us until he was like in high school and has been home schooled for the last 10 or so years.

I don't know if they've ever told him about it or not. Looking back it's all clear, but back then he was just a hyper little shit who didn't listen. Knowing would've made watching him a lot easier

Yeah, I feel this so hard. I only got diagnosed with ADHD in my mid 20s and now just starting the process of getting assessed for Autism.

It’s been a rough childhood with my family taking the route of learning through negative reinforcement, which did not feel consistent and sometimes the punishment was sometimes spaced far enough in time from when I did a bad thing that I didn’t know what I was being punished for sometimes. It also didn’t help that I got bullied a lot in school if I’m just not left alone, sometimes even initiated by staff too (not the teachers).

I’ve only found my childhood psychologist report recently that I was recommended to get tested for a condition that has long since been rolled into the autism spectrum.

The funny thing is my family didn’t want me to “catch” autism so I never got assessed.

Now I get to maybe be diagnosed AND work on the issues I have from what I used to think was all my fault, that I was lazy, etc etc.

Good fun! /s

Was diagnosed at 35, apparently my dad had it, would have been good to know. Going through life wondering why everyone is smarter than myself. It's not always ADHD, sometimes people will say such non sense that we will wonder why we don't get it.

Apparently, when I was a kid my grandfather said no to any prescription or diagnoses of ADHD. I faintly remember that. Well it's still there