Ma’am, in the ticket you indicated “Shits busted” but could you give me some additional details?
this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025
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iiiiiiitttttttttttt
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you know the computer thing is it plugged in?
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This is actually where a phone call can be beneficial if you’re assertive about the questions and cut them off when they get squirrely. Some people will never figure out how to get to the point over a ticket because they cannot organize their thoughts no matter how well formed your written instructions are. Get them on the phone and just remote to their workstation.
And when remoted, open the ticket system and fill it out for them as they answer your directing questions. Once done, let them know that the new ticket will be handled according to the sla. At low priority.
"Computer machine, it no works"
For real. I get tickets like this issued for/on behalf of a location. So I don't know who, what, where (within that location), when, why, or how...
Do ticket templates not work?
Asset tag: Broken printer.
Office location: BROKEN PRONTER.
Requester: BOOKEN PINTOOOR!!!
And my favorite: "."
Ticket: I can't get email
Actual problem: Computer won't turn on
Cause: Computer isn't plugged in
I hope ticket systems have ways to assign priorities to users, so you can deprioritize any future requests coming from them
It's been a very long time since I worked on the helldesk but I seem to recall requests were prioritised by a mixture of how critical they are to the business and the seniority of the requester. Past requests had no bearing on future priority. :/
seniority of the requester. damn. there's a way to ensure that critical business functions are possibly stalled excessively.
hopefully requester priority was just reference
Little over a decade ago I dealt with internet on trains. One ticket read "internet doesn't work".
No info who submitted it.
No info when.
No info which carriage.
No info which train.
No info which route or any other clues as to the geographical location. Could have been inside of a tunnel for all I know.
Malicious compliance to the rescue.
Call them just to say "ticket closed" and hang up.
Opens ticket
Ticket only says “read customer email and advise”
Email chain is a mile long going back 3 months
Closes ticket with “please clearly and concisely explain the problem in the next ticket you open”
3 day SLA on our tickets, so back to the end of the line they go.
Email chain is a mile long going back 3 months
Oh yes, I love those. Maliciously complying would mean taking the morning to read that novel, thoroughly.
Maliciously complying would be to have an llm extract the relevant info from that pile and log half an hour anyway.
That kills my KPI though. Closing a ticket and marking it resolved in 45 seconds catapults my KPI.