saltnotsugar

The Denny’s waitress rolled her eyes when I asked which wine pairs best with the chicken strips.

Anal is now first base.

You know who we should use as a Jesus model? Jeff in accounting.

I think the problem is we don’t have huge ol crickets that are lobster sized. Otherwise you’d have Red Locust and all you can eat grasshopper legs.

Is this the dog that looks through windows desperately at their ex?

Did you know you can just buy these in the store? Like you don’t need a realtor or anything!

AI, you’ve always been the caretaker of the Overlook hotel.

One will gently clean, and the other will turbo scrub.

B-But I’m not a Linux admin!

He’s got to get some special notifications on his phone.

How about Baking Good, where a drug kingpin leaves that life to bake bread in a cozy little town.

L’dong bon hon et long un croissant!
My hamster has run off with my croissant!
HOH! Hoh hoh! Hoh!