this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2025
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aliexpressnonsense

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Rules: Screenshots from Ali Express of bad photoshops, hilarious translation errors, funny reviews and just plain nonsense you find on there.

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[–] marcos@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Right... It takes 4 kW from a 30 Wh battery... So it works for 27 seconds!

[–] hnnng@feddit.org 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

No no, but that's a 30 Amp-hours battery! With the 928V indicated that should make 27,840 Watt-Hours ... enough capacity to run that thing for almost 7 hours at full speed.

Weeeeeee!!!

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

And that's 928 volts Fahrenheit too!

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Makita is getting into the adult toy market and this is their new high power blowjob gun.

[–] Carvex@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They’re a bit presumptuous with the length of that barrel.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is it weird that I already had a "one size fits all" joke lined up for a reply like this?

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I think it's weirder that we're all overlooking that any person that attached this to themselves, if it was actually capable of putting its rated force, would basically explode.

It's like a one-size-fits-all instant-eunuch machine.

[–] Localhorst86@feddit.org 5 points 2 months ago

It’s like a one-size-fits-all instant-eunuch machine.

new gender affirming care method just dropped.

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Unless I see proof, it's marketing bullshit.

[–] Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Yup, just like the '100,000 lumen' flashlights they'll try to sell you.

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

Come to think of it, I think the speed of sound is like 340m/s, so this is claiming hypersonic flow? Must be loud. 400m/s coverts to 1440 km/h, or right at 900 mph.

Yeah, yeah… sure, sure. 🙄

[–] TanteRegenbogen@feddit.org 2 points 2 months ago

Insta-Blind flashlight!

[–] Godort@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

300,000 RPM is like dental drill speeds, there is no way whatever they're building this out of can handle those forces

[–] pantherina@feddit.org 1 points 2 months ago

Dental drills are that fast?

[–] BotsRuinedEverything@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

300,000 rpm. Ok.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Ionize the air and accelerate it with electric fields!

[–] SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 3 points 2 months ago

Quick! Somebody get this to Heinz Doofenshmirtz!

[–] CubitOom@infosec.pub 2 points 2 months ago

Actually, I think it's one van

[–] troyunrau@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 months ago