this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2025
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LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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[–] PrivateNoob@sopuli.xyz 310 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I hate that we are in a timeline that I can't be absolutely sure that this is satire anymore.

[–] hakeahnig@lemmy.world 85 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

It absolutely is. This was his next post

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago (3 children)

LMAO! Taking notes from Lyndon Johnson I see! (For those not in the know, the US President would call people into the Oval Office crapper and talk to them while taking a dump.)

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[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 24 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I’m reasonably sure it’s not?

[–] PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca 29 points 10 months ago

I had a manager that said these things. These people are ghouls.

[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

A show of vision only a Super CEO can have

That almost brings it over the line, but no, I think it's serious. Only a heroic CEO could have the vision to give people time off. It's nothing like what unions have been clamoring to do for over a century.

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[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 147 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I can no longer tell which ones are real and which are satire.

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 17 points 10 months ago (7 children)
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[–] Rose_Thorne@lemmy.zip 105 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I had a boss like this once! Fucker pushed for overtime every night, argued against taking vacation, and would bitch people out for taking sick days, calling anyone who took time off lazy.

Turned out he fucking despised his wife, but didn't want to go through the "shame of divorce"(his words, after she kicked off the divorce).

Hope that dude stubs his toes every morning.

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 51 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I’ve definitely noticed a correlation of people “married to the job” because they don’t like the person they’re legally married to at home. It seemed to lead to a spike in divorces when the lockdowns hit during COVID.

[–] Mirshe@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Or they dislike someone else in the home. I definitely had people who loved their spouse, but hated actually having to take care of their kids, so they took tons of OT in order to minimize interacting with them at all.

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[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 67 points 10 months ago (12 children)

The places to watch out for are the ones who have “unlimited” vacation time. That actually means “ooh, now’s really not a good time…”

[–] Schal330@lemmy.world 25 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I think there was a company (might have been Virgin?) that did unlimited holiday, but the issue was that people ended up feeling ashamed for taking holiday and so basically ended up taking less than if they were given 25 days holiday.

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[–] iamdefinitelyoverthirteen@lemmy.world 51 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Even though I live what I do, getting paid is literally the only reason I go to work. If they did not pay me, I would not go.

[–] nailbar@sopuli.xyz 23 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I like my job. If I wasn't getting paid, I'd still be doing it. Just not for them.

[–] vithigar@lemmy.ca 15 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Exactly this. I have several hobby projects that use the same skill set as my job, because I enjoy doing it.

I would quit my job on the spot and spend much more time on my other projects if I didn't need the money.

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[–] Knoxvomica@lemmy.ca 44 points 10 months ago

"I offered my employees a salary, they then expected the full salary paid out. Miserable, ungrateful wretches."

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 42 points 10 months ago

We offered the CEO $550 million as a benefit. A gesture. A show of vision only a Super Board can have.

Instead, they treat it like a right. Like pay is something they're owed.

Some cash those checks. Some have it direct deposited. Different labels, same result, money leaves the company.

And that's when it hit me. If you really enjoy your job, why would you ever want to be paid for it?

Or am I the only one who sees it this way?

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 42 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like a real stupid guy.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I mean, he already said he was a CEO…

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[–] KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone 42 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"I'm an insufferable rich cunt who doesn't do much at work, I have enough money to pay other people to do everything for me in the rest of my life, so I spend my free time persuing any hobby or interest I want, I'm also very empty inside so spend most of my time working."

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[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 41 points 10 months ago (7 children)
[–] Technofrood@feddit.uk 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not plus unfortunately as they can include the bank holidays in your statutory 28 days

Bank holidays

Bank or public holidays do not have to be given as paid leave.

An employer can choose to include bank holidays as part of a worker’s statutory annual leave.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 10 months ago

Ah yeah, I should have known that having worked hospitality most of my life lol

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

American here.

We get less than that. And we got a LOT of small business owners who are pissed that they have to honor that. And like the meme, showcase it like it was a PRIVILEGE for working there.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 35 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Even if you love doing something, you'll eventually want a break. What this guy is describing is addiction. Work addiction is one of many types of addiction that isn't even seen as such because while it can destroy everything else in your life, it likely won't stop you from being financially successful and that's the only measure of success anyone actually gives a fuck about, it seems.

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[–] ZeroGravitas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Your salary has been made available in your corporate account, but why would you want to use it all and deprive your employer of the extra security a cash reserve brings? Work well done should be its own reward after all. A shareholder cries every time you make a withdrawal.

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 17 points 10 months ago
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[–] Infrapink@thebrainbin.org 34 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'm pretty sure this person is joking.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 10 months ago

we live in an age where almost all satire has happened at least 10 times

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[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 32 points 10 months ago

If you really enjoy spaghetti & meatballs, why would you ever want to eat anything else?

[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 30 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I have such a hard time imagining this is actually a real person writing a real post.

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[–] pressanykeynow@lemmy.world 22 points 10 months ago (14 children)

USA needs some worker rights laws(apart from free healthcare, free education and others), in normal countries you'll be in trouble if you somehow didn't take your 28 days(more in some) of vacation, or were spotted at work in those days.

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[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I love my job. I really do. I also love other things more. It’s not rocket surgery.

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[–] caboose2006@lemmy.world 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)

After being America pilled I moved to China and had a British roommate. My mind was blown when he told me his mom took paid vacation days to tidy the house. I would NEVER dream of using the 14 days of vacation I had in the USA to clean the fucking house. Just IMAGINE having so much time off that you'd even consider using some to clean the house. It seemed awesome to me.

[–] NotJohnSmith@feddit.uk 15 points 10 months ago

As a Brit that's crazy, that's what WFH is for ;)

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I have an idea! Co-operatives, taxed automation, total freedom! Fuck work! Fuck all work! Most of us had enough of it for a lifetime. Even if you believe in working hard and earning your keep, the real issue is, you don't actually get to enjoy much of the results! You waste time you could have spent helping others, getting fit, developing your skillsets and hobbies! Living life! Experiencing things!

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I've always thought the idea of a neighborhood working together would do wonders. "John down the street loves cars so if u need a fix go see him, oh and this weekend we're all helping roof his house cuz he helps us with cars and Hank across the street is gonna grill burgers for us" etc etc stuff like that.

[–] 4am@lemmy.zip 15 points 10 months ago (3 children)

You just invented villages

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[–] TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 18 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

People with all the equity thinking that they don't need to share to get people to take ownership of work

~~what a fucking cunt~~ oh it is satire

[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This is crazy. Next thing you're going to tell me the employees actually keep their full salaries for themselves and don't give you back most of it?

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[–] Thteven@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago (8 children)

What kind of psychopath enjoys working?

[–] Zwrt@lemmy.sdf.org 19 points 10 months ago

For own personal growth or the general benefit of my local society absolutely.

Don’t even need a salary as long as the means to live happy are otherwise provided.

For the profit of a corporation? No, yuck!

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[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 17 points 10 months ago

If you really enjoy your job, why would you ever want time away from it?

Good point, maybe you should think about that a little harder bro.

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 10 months ago (2 children)

If you really like running why would you ever stop running?

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[–] Vinny_93@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

I pay them every month but instead of keeping their salaries, they spend it all! Meaning I have to keep paying them! Absurd.

[–] Routhinator@startrek.website 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I love my field, I hate the majority of jobs in my field because while tech can do many cool and wonderful things and could be solving many more issue, most companies are busy doing what one percenters want and pushing for the least effort solutions and everything is always a cram. No breathing space, no time to enjoy the product and reflect on what to do next. Just cram, enshittify, add tracking, automate away your peers, do more with less people so we can fire more people.

I'm so sick of the efficiency rat race that capitalist investors demand.

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 14 points 10 months ago

I could tell it was satire because of his title, "probably the weirdest CEO of a recruit", but it's one of those cases where you just know a significant amount of bosses looks at that and sincerely agree

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