this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2025

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In the wild, chimpanzees likely ingest the equivalent of several alcoholic drinks every day (phys.org)

submitted 2 months ago by dantheclamman@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

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[–] fargeol@lemmy.world 67 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh, that explains why they don't drive cars

[–] dwemthy@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

We must figure out what other human laws chimpanzees respect

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Goddamn they live better than us in every way

[–] PanGodofPanic@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Chimps, not so much. Their society is exceedingly violent and hierarchical. Bonobos (equally close human relative in the other side of the Congo River) on the other hand, they have shit figured out.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Arguably my comment is funnier if you know anything about great apes

[–] BzzBiotch@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago

Me too, chimpsan. Me too

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago

I mean, can you blame them?

[–] Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 months ago

Another point on the 'return to monke' scale.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 11 points 2 months ago

Hell yeah, let's party.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I know we evolved to handle ethanol, but thought it was a recent thing, since the invention of beer. Weird.

Yes, I understand we didn't evolve from chimps.

[–] dantheclamman@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think the ability to metabolize ethanol with alcohol dehydrogenase is a separate, more recent thing. But a lot of the tree of life gets buzzed in various ways! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recreational_drug_use_in_animals

[–] Hector@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Ratatoskr the squirrel on the tree of life drank the mead of wisdom.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Going to a chimp-only AA meeting really hits different.

[–] Adori@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If these primates have the same ability to drink as humans do, then they must have the same ability to drive a we do.

[–] 01189998819991197253@infosec.pub 1 points 2 months ago

Yeah, drive each other bananas!

I'll see myself out...

[–] ScrollerBall@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AIDJ-sTuoO8

[–] FUCKING_CUNO@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Ive never had fresh Marula fruit, but this shit is good, and its made from it

https://www.totalwine.com/spirits/liqueurscordialsschnapps/cream/amarula-fruit-cream-liqueur/p/94325750

[–] Una@piefed.europe.pub 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Based :3 good uncle

[–] Solumbran@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The difference being that they don't know it's a poison.

[–] Geth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago

I think a bunch of chimps downvoted you.

[–] Hector@lemmy.world -5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Alcohol is not poison. Methanol is.

[–] dickalan@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Bro ethanol alcohol is absolutely a poison. It’s just not a very good one