this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2025
287 points (89.5% liked)

Ask Lemmy

35627 readers
1116 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I personally cringe when I hear a friend js having a kid. All I can think of is how bad theyre going to have it. Hell id definitely have been better off being born 20 years earlier, but these new kids are REALLY screwed unless they have super rich parents.

"Nothing new under the sun" I suppose!

(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Absolutely yes I feel bad for them.

Some people will say that now is the best time to be alive, but I think we have hit our peak and are facing an ugly drop-off. Climate change is a big one, but I think that technology is quickly becoming detrimental to the average person because it is leading to a consolidation of wealth and power in the hands of fewer and fewer.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 months ago

If you were born 20 years earlier you'd get to destroy the planet and die before there was any consequences?

The kids will be fine, they are smarter and more capable than those that came before them, every time. The real problem is people living so long they aren't making room for the young people. Think turnover at a restaurant, and all the diners finished eating and paid but won't leave.

[–] Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I feel like most people today have kids just because they feel that's what they should be doing or because they just want a kid. I feel having kids is almost, incredibly selfish? If that makes sense.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] mydude@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Everyone here knows the solution; Eat the rich.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Lucky_777@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

I think the next generation is going to start feeling it hard. Current generation will slip by but barely. I'm not pressuring my kids to have their own. Just do you fam.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (17 children)

If we dont pass the torch only the rich will. Is that a world we want to fortify? I'd rather not. Someone has to oppose them. Thats our and our children's fight as the world begins to wane.

[–] LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (5 children)

And we're fighting this fight by breeding more wageslaves for the capitalists?

I don't mean to be as dramatic as this comes off, but I don't understand this logic. You don't work extra hard when you want to stick it to the rich, you don't work at all, i.e. go on strike. People not having kids would make sense as a strike of sorts.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (16 replies)
[–] crapwittyname@feddit.uk 7 points 3 months ago

I choose not to. I can choose to be hopeful for the future without being unrealistic. I can see intrinsic value in human life and the human experience even knowing that every single one of us will die at some point, some peacefully, some during suffering. The moment of death doesn't have to define one's life. Even a baby who lives for six hours has spent infinitely more time living than dying. Would you be so nihilistic as to erase that life, just because it was short?

Your philosophy is valid; it's not necessarily correct.
Starting from the assumption that it is denies you the opportunity to see things from a different perspective.

[–] grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

I mean, I made a conscious decision not to have children, so...

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Abortions should be legal at any term

[–] NotJohnSmith@feddit.uk 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I have a 6 year old, is that too late? :)

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] dangling_cat@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

China, US, and Russia are all having growing economic issues right now. Executives and government officials are all sold on the idea that AI will replace labor and create a massive unemployment population. Resources like farmable land, water, and rare minerals will be fought over. There is a global power shift towards authoritarianism. All signs point to the fact that your kids will become cannon fodder.

[–] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 months ago

no im jealous because i miss screaming and shitting and puking constantly

[–] Bunbury@feddit.nl 6 points 3 months ago

It’s the main reason I’m not having children. While there are other reasons the main one is a combination of global warming made worse by late stage capitalism and the resulting political instability that comes with that.

While I refuse to make the choice to bring someone new into this world myself I do see it as my duty to help as many of the kids around me who were brought into this world regardless. The world they were bron into is not their fault and I appreciate being able to use my resources to help them and their parents.

[–] trailee@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 months ago (7 children)

As a parent in the US, yes. The future looks very dim among climate change, water overuse, corruption of civic institutions by the capital class, etc.

Even people born 20 years ago have it rough - they’re just now graduating college into a crummy job market and massively inflated housing market, with MAGA policies and AI destroying the economy for both blue and white collar folks as quickly as possible.

It seems cruel to create new life in this environment. Are you going to tell the kids that it’s their job to fix the world that the previous generations abused and degraded for short term gains, because it’s somehow our duty as sane humans to produce more sane humans to continue the fight? Many people today already live a worsening paycheck to paycheck existence, with too little free time to focus on systemic change. How will adding to that help?

Nearly every generation has felt pessimism at one time or another that the world is the worst it’s ever been. But it sure seems different this time.

The folk heroes of tomorrow will be people like Greta Thunberg and Mario’s brother, and that’s not a great existence to root for.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago

"I miss the good ol' days" is basically how a certain country's fascist got elected. There's nothing to miss about the past, what's to miss? Casual "gay humor" (homophobia), racial stereotyping, misogyny and toxic masculinity, ableism, refusal to ackowlege other's mental health stuggles, or conversely, locking people up for neurodivergence, the fact that "lobotomy" is a legal thing to do, fuck that world.

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 3 months ago

Not specifically today, just generally born. Some things are worse, some better.
It's just that it's impossible for anyone to consent to being born. And not many people can say that they're living happily.

[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yes I do. I am an anti-natalist because I care about people.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 3 months ago

Yes. It's one of the checkmarks in the don't-have-kids column.

[–] rabber@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago (19 children)

Gf and I talk about this a lot. Both want kids but I don't know how to feel about this world anymore. I come from generational wealth so could just buy the kids houses but I feel like it's still going to be super shitty overall

load more comments (19 replies)
[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I think the whole “wrong generation” thing is a bit of a misconception, at least in terms of culture. Say you really love 60s culture, you can dress like you are in the 60s and listen to all the music from that time - including obscure stuff your local record store wouldn’t have had then but likely do now. Then additionally you can also listen to the odd song for the 70s and 80s if they take your fancy. The 60s are a part of pop culture and you can swim in that stream for as long as you want.

Socially as well, I think people underestimate how much latitude we are given to be individuals in modern society vs even like 30 years ago where social pressures to conform were stronger.

Economically I think there could be some cause for concern for the future but there were really tough economic times in the past too. Stagflation in the late 70s for example is worse than what we are experiencing at the moment. Having a kid could be something people treat like buying a property and waiting for the ideal time to do it; however, property prices are unpredictable and trying to judge it perfectly is like trying to catch a falling knife. The best advice is just to buy a property when you can afford it, and that probably holds true for having a kid too (assuming you want one… that’s another benefit of living in contemporary times!)

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] zakobjoa@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

People be fucking.

There were kids conceived and born during the Holocaust.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] peaceful_world_view@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

More grist for the mill.

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yup. Between climate collapse, wealth shift to the ultra wealthy, and the global surge in popularity of right wing extremist authoritarianism, I don't see things improving any time soon.

Things are rapidly degrading, and intentionally dropping a child into the dumpster fire we're turning our planet into is an act of cruelty and selfishness that few others measure up to.

Having a vasectomy was probably the best decision I've made - not for my sake, but the kid's and any even less fortunate grandkids and so on.

 

My own parents have finally fucked off a bit about when their grandchildren are coming, and lecturing me on how I'm cheating myself out of life's greatest joy or some shit... I think current events have finally become so glaringly bad that even they can't ignore it, but reminding them constantly about how unfair that would be for the kid was so fucking tiring.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] kazaika@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Economically speaking the more abrupt the population shrinkage the worse the few young people will have it because of the extreme imbalance of retired vs working population

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›