The lighter side of ADHD
This was me during my youth - quiet, polite and serene on the outside, white noise on the inside. Teachers couldn't work out why I excelled at some things and failed totally at others, they thought I was smart but not applying myself to my work. It took me til my 30s to get a diagnosis.
"a pleasure to have in class, but needs to apply herself"
"Has a lot of potential" got used a lot
"He easily deserves a B but he could get an A if he applied himself. I'll just give him a C so he tries harder"
"It's no use, I push him as far as I could"
My parents were told I had it but they chose to ignore it fearing what others would think of them. May they rot.
My senior year I had 104 in computer science, a 99 in physics and a 100 in typing. In algebra I had a 75 and 72 in English. Somehow my parents blamed the teachers. It never occurred to them that the math for algebra and physics overlaps a lot. It didn't occur to my algebra teacher either.
I got that a lot, along with "has poor impulse control"... Bitches, if you only knew what impulses I was controlling...
Replace her with him and one of my school reports literally had that word for word lmfao.
My partner got that on hers.
I got a mix of that and "a pleasure to have in class, but needs to work on not distracting others"
How I went 31 years with no raised eyebrows is funny to me, so many red flags attributed to being "quirky" or "eccentric".
Thanks for the flashbacks.
How often do you have a feeling that there's too much information to convey right now, and speech/mouth feels like a bottleneck not capable of delivering all that needs to be said in their really specific details?
Now combine that with impatient people who don't give other people enough time to process information or enough time to properly explain something.
That's my whole family dynamic right there. Pure anxiety fuel :D
yes.
So much yes
All the time. My thoughts also run way faster than I can speak, so I very often speak too fast and mumble, which makes it hard for people to understand me.
I've heard the inattentive type is more common among women. My wife definitely fits the description. People usually mistake the blank stare for intimidation, but I know better. (っ˘з(•_• )
The blank stare isn’t really indicative of daydreaming or thinking about a problem.
Nope - just nothing at all going on in there for a blissfully quiet few minutes.
It definitely looks like RBF though. People always used to think I was mad!
Still waters run deep - or sometimes that's just frozen water.
I've got angry thinking face. That's the best, every time you're at the height of your mental powers some asshole who loves you says "Is everything ok?"
This is why my parents dismissed my childhood diagnosis of ADHD. My older brother has the hyperactive type, but I am more of the inattentive type.
The outside is calm, but the inside is a tornado of thoughts that doesn't cease.
That definition always bothered me a lot... The hyperactivity is always there, but it's either internalised, externalised and sometimes it's both. It's the intensity of it that can vary a lot from person to person.
"I have all this energy inside and I can't use it how I want!!"
"I have all this energy outside and it's using me how it wants!!"
That’s why they don’t use “types” anymore, they call them presentations. Any person with ADHD may present as more inattentive or more hyperactive depending on circumstances, and, like you said, some elements of both are always there.
I'm the inattentive type. My youngest kid is the hyper type.
We clash soooo much. His body does what my mind does.
When I was a kid, it was just called ADD, attention deficit disorder. Then at some point they slipped the hyperactive in there, and it made everyone think that it's just energetic kids. Then you got pushback in the media saying it's just excusing people not wanting to discipline their kids. And that's why I never even considered that I might have it until after I flunked out of college.
Same, 31 now and I think I have a mild version of the inattentive type. My wife opened my mind to it, I won't go for a diagnosis but having resources to help me improve and deal better with it are great.
I'm still in awe of the sheer naivety of the profession deciding that including hyperactive in the title would lead to increased understanding and inclusion.
What's probably even more confusing is when the quiet turns loud suddenly because the topic has shifted to something interesting.
yes that sounds like inattentive type adhd, its the spacey daydreamy type, and fun fact, as its less disruptive its less likely to be diagnosed and funner fact its much more common in girls which contributes to the
Gotta say I really appreciate you getting distracted by something more interesting halfway through
yeah I couldn't figure out how to name the thing at the end of the sentence so i just gave up and trusted yall would get it
Women tend to exhibit inattentive ADHD more frequently than men. This is part of why boys are 16x more likely than girls to be diagnosed with ADHD. It's because women and girls don't fit the traditional media representation of what ADHD looks like, and more parents become oblivious to the fact that their child needs help.
My fiancé has combined type nominally, but other than racing thoughts and some stimming, he's definitely the quiet type. I would say that's probably the case for many (most even?) AuDHD people, as autism doesn't usually go hand in hand with the endless social battery that the ADHD stereotype portrays.
Sounds like me too, and I also am AuDHD.
I'm energetic and extremely talkative when talking about the things I'm currently into. All other times I'm exactly this.
Is it weird that I kinda have both?
I got diagnosed with ADHD at 25 , and I’ve been like 90% quiet most of my adult life. However I recall every now and then when a memory hits, I used to be suuuper energetic, talkative and all over the place overall as a kid.
Since my family thought that getting me mental help = being put into an asylum for life, I never got assessed and was instead chastised/shamed into not talking (and in parallel the regular kids would mock and tease in the school system) so I’ve sorta just got quiet which just got me more inwardly chaotic
Not at all weird.
ADHD is an executive dysfunction. It manifests differently at different times or in different moods or situations.
Sometimes I can’t stop talking. Other times I can’t start talking.
They changed the definition from types to presentations recently, because no person with ADHD is exclusively one or the other. Our presentations depend on the day and circumstances.
The neat part of the Internet is having communities like this explain things I've been feeling my whole life, but couldn't quite find the words to describe it.
Figuring out that I have ADHD (4 years ago at age 33) made a lot of things make sense.
Frick. I should really get a proper diagnosis. Anyone here found out they had ADHD well into adulthood? What changed?
Yeah almost 40, was diagnosed not even two years ago.
I had been taking Ritalin to start with, which is great for bringing me out, makes me more talkative actually able to pay attention to your usual boring chit-chat with people.
I've since migrated to dexamfetamine & vyvanse (pro drug / long acting dexamf') which for me is less of the talkative / social and more of being able to focus, time manage & notice when I'm spending too much time on one task.
For me, the biggest changes have been being able to start & finish anything. I've really delved into Linux / home labbing' and have a modest setup, and a decent understanding of Linux / NixOS.
My relationship has improved, I'm now much more attentive around the house, and even proactive with chores / tasks.
Biggest downside has been issues with sleep being on Vyvanse, I'm trialing Guanfacine or Intuniv (brand name) for those issues. Off label it helps with impulsiveness however adjusting to the groggy mornings hasn't been fun.
I'm very happy my wife pushed me to see a Dr about a diagnosis, I'd just thought that I was lazy or a bit of a dropkick when it came to life admin / general chores.
Got diagnosed near the end of last year, well into adulthood. I have inattentive type (what was once called ADD). I'm on non-stimulany meds for it, which helps. But the thing about ADHD is that it's mainly genetic and has to do with the structure of your brain. Its a holdover from when we were living on plains and spent most of our days eating berries and avoiding predators. There's no real symptom relief, only management.
That said, the tools you learn for management while in therapy for it are amazing. And once you understand how your brain works, you gain a deeper and better understanding of how and why you do things. I know that seems like a "duh", but in practice its a lot more profound and empowering than you think its going to be.
But ADHD has a lot of overlap with other things, so don't be too sure until you see a professional. I wasn't looking for an ADHD diagnosis when I got one - I thought I had depression. And I was miserable. Like, considering some unthinkable stuff. My diagnosis and treatment basically 180'd me completely. Find a good doctor, then listen to them
I was sort of like this, but further inquiry into my parents and friends and classmates it was more:
"Why are you so quiet?"
"Why won't you shut up?"
For number 1: lol follow a train of thought?
For number2: Train has left the station at full speed near instant acceleration
I guess I’m bipolar ADHD. In my small group I’m off the wall, random, crude, funny, no filter. In a larger group of people I don’t know my friends wonder if I’m sick. I guess this is what you get when you cross introvert with ADHD.
I have at least two concurrent trains of thought running simultaneously at all times; I don't have the energy to be outwardly expressive.
I've only ever seen 1 person with something like the "energetic" ADHD...
Reading self-diagnosis checklists and articles (for entertainment purposes only, don't self-diagnose, etc), I see an enormous overlap between ADHD symptoms and autism.
What would make the distinction?
..worth noting, 40-70% of patients with autism experience significant symptoms of adhd. source*
*am unfamiliar w/ this institution or their services, but the info seemed good >.<
It’s very challenging. It mostly comes down to which symptoms in the constellation are having the largest negative impact to the life of the person, as well as how they respond to different treatments. You really need the help of a doctor to navigate the whole situation.