childfree

Life is easier if you regret NOT having children.

Life is much harder if you regret HAVING children.

My mom's advice has helped me a lot in my decision. She's a mother of 5, definitely wanted to be a mother and is very fulfilled by it. Parenting was her great joy, and she was/is great at it.

You and your husband should both be about 80% sure you want kids. Any less and it verges on not worth it. Kids take everything you have. If you want them, you are so happy to give them everything. If you want kids 100% (no fear or hesitation about being ready) than you're underestimating how important and difficult a decision it is. A good parent does hesitate and consider if they're ready!

I am 7 months pregnant and I was also terrified to give birth! I'm coming around now, and feeling more ready. At some point, it's easier to go through 1-2 days of pain and just get them out. Honestly I recommend not researching it too in depth until after you make your decision, because it's like the smallest part of the process. Pregnancy is like a year, birth is one day, and then they're your kid forever.

R/regretful parents made it easy to decide. Did not want to even slightly risk to end up like them

Becoming a biological parent means you're causing on average 58.6 tonnes of CO2e released per year for having that kid (it's an order of magnitude worse in rich countries). Wynes et al. 2017

By becoming a biological parent, you're contributing to the biggest and root cause of making the world unlivable due to anthropogenic climate change.

I asked my mom how much I cost to raise. She said about $35,000 per year.

I figured over 20 years that’s a lot of ski trips, corvettes, grand pianos, surfboards, nice dinners, and home renovation projects. So I decided I’d rather have those.

What helped you make the decision to be child-free?

https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/

That was 30 years ago, now it's only worse.

People say when you become a parent, you dont have time to do the things you want to do anymore.

I suggest that you still do what you want to do, but the things you want to do change.

I still enjoy going to concerts, and hitting the bar scene with friends, but now I also like teaching my kid how to do things and watching him figure things out.

Yes they start out as crying poop machines, but they get much more interesting than that.

I don’t think any first time parent is ever going to be ready. If birthing is a fear you have, go for a c-section instead.

Kids are also very different from one another. Tantrums are not commonplace, it depends how you approach your kid when it is sad, upset etc.

PS: sorry for not linking you any articles. Choose whatever you feel works for you and your partner :)