this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

RULES:

  1. Your post must be a screen capture of a microblog-type post that includes the UI of the site it came from, preferably also including the avatar and username of the original poster. Including relevant comments made to the original post is encouraged.
  2. Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
  3. You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
  4. Current politics and news are allowed, but discouraged. There MUST be some kind of human commentary/reaction included (either by the original poster or you). Just news articles or headlines will be deleted.
  5. Doctored posts/images and AI are allowed, but discouraged. You MUST indicate this in your post (even if you didn't originally know). If an image is found to be fabricated or edited in any way and it is not properly labeled, it will be deleted.
  6. Absolutely no NSFL content.
  7. Be nice. Don't take anything personally. Take political debates to the appropriate communities. Take personal disagreements & arguments to private messages.
  8. No advertising, brand promotion, or guerrilla marketing.

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[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 58 points 10 months ago (8 children)

Also, anything becomes a bizarre sex act if you put a place name in front of an inanimate object.

A Yukon hairdryer.

A Baltimore oilcan.

A Moscow boot lace.

A Nairobi ice cream cone.

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

A Saskatchewan can opener

The ol' Miami snowshoe

I think you're on to something...

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm howling at all of these

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 10 months ago

The Albuquerque Track Shovel

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago (3 children)

A Moscow boot lace.

Sex act, or means of dispatching a political rival?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Both. And it involves vodka and a chilled, handcrafted copper mug.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

I did the both commnet before I saw yours.

The handcrafted copper mug makes yours the superior comment. I bow to your perversion.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Latter but while naked so first as well.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago

Why not both?

[–] gofsckyourself@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

That's when you fuck a clone of your own dead dad, but the clone is only 1/16th your dad's actual size.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

In my country, we call that Wednesday.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago

https://youtu.be/ykEGtwJuZIs

And this isn't over until one of us gets a 'rusty venture.'

[–] slothrop@lemmy.ca 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 7 points 10 months ago

Pfui!

That's just a Rangoon artichoke, except with opera gloves and a few extra bowling pins.

[–] dfyx@lemmy.helios42.de 5 points 10 months ago

Don’t forget the reverse Romanian Wilkinson.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 4 points 10 months ago

Reminds me of the time my ex and i tried the San Bernadino Toilet Roll. Good times.

[–] Vinny_93@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

San Diego thank you

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 months ago

or a crap cocktail.

[–] visc@lemmy.world 25 points 10 months ago

It’s even better if the adjective doesn’t mean “bad”, you incandescent fuck burger.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You're all a bunch of delicious fucking people! Just attractive goddamn heroes! I'm fed up with it, you lovable bloody honeys!

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They probably should have specified that the adjectives have negative connotations.

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It requires a negative adjective and a neutral-to-negative noun. Which effective boils down to "call them mean things with some curse words in the mix."

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

Eh, if the adjective is negative a positive noun still works as a sarcastic insult.

[–] toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

this is such a stupid fucking post

edit - oops, that's adjective-presentParticiple-noun.

or maybe it's adjective-expletiveAttributive-noun..

fun fact: the term "expletive" is a modern word from the Nixon scandal.

[–] nutt_goblin@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I hope this post is at least 10 years old because it is such a powerful example of 2010s millennial humour

[–] CCAirWater@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

I was laughing. Now I feel personally attacked. 😅

You're not wrong tho

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 11 points 10 months ago

This seems like the toned down version they give to instructors on Basic.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Dutch cursing formula:

Adjective + Adjective + Disease + “Sufferer”

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

"Vies vuile kanker leider!"

Of zo iets. Ben niet echt goed met Nederlands meer.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

Big round plague sufferer

[–] axx@slrpnk.net 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

What up you decrepit shit magnets?

[–] Bravo@eviltoast.org 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Nothing much you designated pussy field.

[–] Owljfien@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If they're into people with pussies, this a pretty good compliment. Sounds like a magnetic field that attracts pussy instead of metal etc

[–] Bravo@eviltoast.org 2 points 10 months ago

Yeah, I was testing how robust the formula was by using the first adjective, curse word, and noun that I could see in my immediate environment. I'm not convinced it holds up.

[–] Curiousfur@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

I personally love "troublesome goddamn elbow"

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You're such sn awful shit poster. Wait that came out weird.

[–] visc@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This made me realise “you shit shit shit” fits the pattern

[–] Bob_Robertson_IX@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 10 months ago

same with "you fucking fuck fuck"

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 5 points 10 months ago

Shoutout to my abominable shit goblin homies

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Chat GPT has joined the conversation:

Funny ones:

bewildered crap muffin

janky bitch canoe

slippery hell donut

cringeworthy dicktopus gremlin

moist bastard pancake

turbulent ass goblin

sneaky cockwaffle beetle

unloved fart sponge

pickled shit wizard

forgettable piss cactus

Scathing ones:

sanctimonious dick weasel

malignant fuck crust

insufferable shit barnacle

joyless bastard vampire

vapid cockroach husk

obnoxious tit gnome

worthless twat lantern

hollow bitch statue

septic bile ghoul

conniving dickhead otter
[–] mycelium_underground@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

"Malignant fuck crust" goes hard.

[–] Sirdubdee@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Was dicktopus a thing before or did chat gpt invent it?

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 5 points 10 months ago

I ... Have no idea

I have never heard it before

[–] Ragdoll_X@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Reminds me of Oh...Sir!! The Insult Simulator

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Fyi, there's a sequel(!) and it's really cool.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 months ago

sorry excuse for an intolerable ass pastry

As opposed to a shining exemplar of an intolerable ass pastry

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 3 points 10 months ago

Maybe not being reblogged is part of the truth you are afraid to face? Just a thought