this post was submitted on 13 May 2025

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Lemmy Shitpost

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325

Oh god (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 11 months ago by kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

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[–] trslim@pawb.social 74 points 11 months ago (2 children)

My husband? Normal day.

[–] kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works 27 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Well looks like u got the best option

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[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 69 points 11 months ago (3 children)

[–] RushLana@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I only have a table to my left... Well this is gonna hurt.

[–] arrow74@lemm.ee 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My couch is the only object on my left

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[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 11 months ago

I'm assuming that that's the "before" photo

The "after" would be the same, but with matted fur

[–] x4740N@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago

Put The Cat down shane dawson

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 35 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I just walked past a parked car as I read that—it's been nice knowing you all

[–] lime@feddit.nu 18 points 11 months ago

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[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 29 points 11 months ago (3 children)

A couch. Is this like one of JD Vance's fantasies? To be fucked by a couch?

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[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Toilet paper? All according to plan

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

A 30cm offset serrated bread knife? At least the base is vaguely flared.

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[–] brokenlcd@feddit.it 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

What a horrible day to be working around mig welding machines.

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[–] Chef_Boyardee@lemm.ee 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm not putting my cat up my butt, you fucking weirdo.

[–] Dragonstaff@leminal.space 7 points 11 months ago

You don't do everything a picture on the internet tells you to?

[–] Flamekebab@piefed.social 13 points 11 months ago

looks at radiator dubiously

[–] Routhinator@startrek.website 12 points 11 months ago

Well.. it's a door. At least my ass will be closed for business after that.

[–] serpineslair@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

A wall?!

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 10 points 11 months ago (4 children)

My fiance is 5' tall. I'm going to literally explode.

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[–] iamdefinitelyoverthirteen@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

It's a car. RIP

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 11 months ago

OK, there's actually a banana to my left, but I already did that today

[–] reddfugee@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

My poor Blåhaj…

[–] guiguinofake@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago

Poor cat

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

A entire bedroom wall

[–] sfled@lemm.ee 7 points 11 months ago

I now own a Browntooth speaker.

[–] baggins@lemmy.ca 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'm lying on my right side in bed so I guess the ceiling?

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 6 points 11 months ago

Same, except mine has a fan on it. 🪦

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[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's pointing at my finger, so an easy one.

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[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 11 months ago

There’s a window, but just outside the window is a tall skinny CACTUS

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Of all guitars, why did I choose a ten-string one

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[–] DaCrazyJamez@sh.itjust.works 7 points 11 months ago

This is rather convenient, as the object to my left is a roll of toilet paper

[–] Enkers@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Hairbrush. It'd fit fine, but it's got rubberized paint that's coming off the handle. :/

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[–] owsei@programming.dev 6 points 11 months ago

A double width bus chair

Fuck

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 11 months ago (4 children)

A towel. Idk how im gonna make this work. Maybe if soaked with enough lube or oil 🤔

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[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I was leaning against this when I opened the post:

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[–] Dicska@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Holy mackerel, it's the house!

[–] Zenith@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago

I’m at the DMV, a teenaged girl is sitting next to me 😬

[–] justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 11 months ago

The wall? I wonder how that's gonna work

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

a nice soft blanket. not sure how much will fit but I bet when I take it out it'll feel like taking packing out of your sinuses after an infection.

I can BREATHE!

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 5 points 11 months ago

I am currently regretting my choice to sit in the garden. About 20 concrete blocks.

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