this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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[–] [email protected] 171 points 1 week ago (6 children)

I took a fat, greasy shit today.

Yeah, I admit it.

And I'm sure many of you out there have taken your fair share.

But why am I bringing this up?

For two reasons:

  1. Because no topic is off limits and
  2. Because it's important to be aware of the consequences of eating Chipotle

There are some things that need to be done in moderation.

For some (including myself), questionable food is one of them.

Be very aware of the things that if you do too much cause more harm than good.

Carry on.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Bro, apples don’t poop. WTF

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They do, but only when you’re not looking.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago

More useful than the original.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Because it’s important to be aware of the consequences of eating Chipotle

South Park joke about Chipotle making you shit your pants

Chipoltaway ad

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

might want to look in to getting a little more fiber in that diet if it was greasy. drink more water too.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Ok coca cola corp

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

This cracked me up.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

As a European, the only information I have about Chipotle is that makes you shit greasy and greatly. Sounds like something straight out of Idiocracy from here.

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The “Carry on” at the end - like he’s stopped you in the street to share this nugget of wisdom, and is giving you a firm pat on the shoulder before sending me on your way.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I like to think he is saying that to himself because he interrupted his porn binge to post this.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Nothing like a good wank to clear the mind and uncover fundamental truths about the universe

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

I am not sure he was done yet.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I do watch porn. But at least I'm on an ANONYMOUS FUCKING INTERNET FORUM so I can say it.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 week ago (2 children)

just for shits and giggles I went through the last 7 days of your comments and took notes:

  • UK citizen (uses currency and talks about local chocolate brands)
  • SteamDeck owner
  • soccer/football fan
  • gamer
  • DRM hater
  • frequent videogame pirate (knows the name of a less popular repacker)
  • work at job about shoes
  • doesn't have a foot fetish
  • boycotting the US
  • Porn watcher (probs older bc you referenced a specific one and people don't do that nowadays)

From this I would have to call every shoe stores in the UK to inform them that there is a miniscule chance their employee watches porn in their free time.

I wasted like 20m on this lol

And to be fair I'm not any better, I doxxed my full location on lemmy once accidentally 😂

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Except for the foot things; that doesn't narrow it down at all!

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago
  • boycotting the US

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Anonymous? I know your E Mail, IP Address and will analyze all your previous posts

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Is email really visible, I thought that wasn't displayed publicly. I don't see your email

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

It's only visible to you. Everyone else sees it censored. Here's mine in plaintext: [email protected]

You shouldn't see my email address. Only yours.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

I'm disappointed... It looks like all the x.xxx domains were registered in 2012 and are just parked (or maybe the register reserved them? I can't tell). It would have been fun if this could be a real email.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

It's visible if I pay $500 to the admins

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Settle down Francis.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"No topic is off limits" and "Be aware of indulgences in your life" are, in my opinion, great pieces of advice that you should apply to your close ones. However, LinkedIn is definitely not the place for this.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

as someone that never took anything worthwhile out of linkedin, i kind of like that people post this stuff there :P

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

This is solidly Facebook.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's amazing how someone's job description can say "Scammer" in so many more words.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I had to look up what "digital real estate" is and best i can tell it's something like real estate in the metaverse, hoarding website domains, or some other bullshit

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

The future is a dead mall. If you have the time, this is a great documentary on it. Line Only Goes Up is great by him too.

https://archive.org/details/the-future-is-a-dead-mall-decentraland-and-the-metaverse

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Just about everything Dan Olson does is amazing

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Mantracks is amazing

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago

Linkedin is comedy heaven, I always lough with the content.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Theres 2 kinds of men, those who jerk off and fucking liars.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago

true but... linkedin?

linkedin?

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

Imagine not looking at porn at work, couldn't be me

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

you mean the same porn industry that makes billions a year, you mean you are the single person funding them! I couldnt think that people watch that stuff.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Just like that one kid who got caught buying a dime bag of weed. They directly and solely funded terrorism.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

It has to be true no one else did the drugs!

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

There are A LOT of things that are off limits in the workplace.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

Capitalism is a helluva drug.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

He’s got a very valid point with #2 though

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

kinda confusing

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