this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2025
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[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 44 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (3 children)

When my kid was but a newborn, they were having trouble latching. We had to take them in for a very small procedure to get them to be able to feed properly. I could see their mother was having trouble dealing with it, so I tried to say "the doctor says it won't hurt" and "do you want me to hold [the kid]?" Ended up saying "do you want me to hurt them?"

The doctor counseled against that action.

On a separate event, years before that kid was born, I had to take my first dog to the vet and he had to get a shot. He was clearly nervous but the vet tech was holding him, so I rubbed his neck and ear to comfort him throughout. Only just as they were finishing up did I realize I had also, entirely accidentally, been rubbing the vet tech's hand. She didn't say anything until I realized and apologized profusely, but it was still mortifying.

edit: Punctuation.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 10 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I've been on the opposite side of that, with a human patient.

Was providing some care that required me to support the patient with one hand while doing some less than comfortable work (impaction removal). The patient's daughter was rubbing his shoulder, only my hand was there, so she was actually rubbing my wrist.

She didn't realize it until I had to shift my position with that hand and warned her I was going to be moving. Like you, she got embarrassed and apologized. I just shrugged and said it was no biggie, I would have said something but I was concentrating and needed the moral support. Which turned it into a mutually humorous thing, so we had a good laugh.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

That sounds like a mutually beneficial thing, then!

My aunt, a nurse, once told me of how manual impaction removals are. I was never quite sure whether to believe her (she liked to go for shock value) but eventually found out she was telling the truth.

That was some twenty years ago. Once or twice since, whilst struggling on my own, I've hoped that the process has improved since then.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Lmao! If only it could be improved.

I always hated doing them, not because of the nature of the job but because even when I was younger, my hands (and therefore fingers) were on the large side. Large hands means large fingers. I guess you can see where that would be a detrimental trait for impaction removal lol.

At one point, I wore a size 15 ring and my company had to special order gloves for me. And that was roughly around the same time as that patient. So the fingers I had to use were bigger than 15 by a good bit. Plus, I was still lifting some, but had taken up a casual practice of what's called iron palm training. That's where you repeatedly slam your hands into things to make them tougher. That's an exaggeration, it isn't all that harsh, but still.

So I ended up telling the one company I worked for that I really needed to not be doing them. The supervisor at the time was a pretty great lady, but she didn't quite get the issue. I took a risk and just slapped my hand down on the desk with my index and middle fingers out and asked her if she'd like me to help her clear her bowels. It worked! I cleared her bowels and got a raise.

Nah, that last part is obviously a joke, but I did get her cooperation lol

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Next time I'm constipated, I'm not calling you.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

You sure? I'm told I have a reassuring voice that almost makes it an enjoyable process

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

You know what? If it ever gets to that point, perhaps I'll reconsider in the moment.

[–] Pulptastic@midwest.social 6 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

This happened to our second as well, but sadly the surgery didn’t help.

[–] antler@feddit.online 4 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Was this to fix a tongue tie? I'm not sure if it was the surgery or some other factor, but ours started breastfeeding after having the procedure. The post-surgery "exercises" were the worst though - basically massaging a newborn's recently separated skin twice a day was not pleasant for anyone.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

It was for us but, at least as far as I can remember, we weren't really given any aftercare instructions. Once it was done they put us in a private room and told us to try feeding. It went better than usual but that was more or less a fluke.

We wanted to do breastfeeding but couldn't; ultimately what worked was that the doctor gave us a syringe with some plastic tubing and told us to run the tubing along a finger, let the kid basically latch onto the finger, and use the syringe to push formula through the tubing. That kept the kid fed until we were able to switch to bottles.

[–] antler@feddit.online 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I'm glad you got it sorted and your kid is doing well. They seem pretty damn resilient.

Love your username, btw.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I'm glad you got it sorted and your kid is doing well. They seem pretty damn resilient.

My kid is awesome (and yes, resilient, if terrified of bugs and a little traumatized by pet loss). So much personality. I was scared of being a parent but I'm happy I did because I'm so proud of them. Thank you for noticing.

Love your username, btw.

Thanks! Why? Most people connect it with the Toynbee tiles (which are cool and interesting, but not where I got it), but most people who do so mention it in their comments. You didn't, which makes me curious.

[–] antler@feddit.online 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

It was the Toynbee tile connection for me. Something that I look for while traveling.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

If you ever go to Philadelphia and I randomly happen to be there, I can direct you to one.

I got it from Marvel's Toad. Specifically the novelization of the first X-Men movie. I didn't become aware of the tiles until well afterwards (and I'm not exactly sure whether they existed beforehand).

I've told this story on both Lemmy and Reddit beforehand, but just as a matter of interest ... I used to take the train to Philly, then walk to where I worked then. One day I took a different route, keeping my eyes down, and stumbled - almost literally - on the aforementioned tile. It was genuinely shocking to see my online username embedded in the ground.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 5 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Unfortunately, it didn't for us, either. We ended up pursuing a few other methods but eventually found one that worked. Now the kid is almost six and a growing, healthy kid who mostly feeds themself.

Hopefully your story with your second had a similarly happy outcome.

[–] Pulptastic@midwest.social 6 points 19 hours ago

It did! He is a healthy happy 10yo. I wondered at the time if the surgery was snake oil, but breastfeeding is important so we had to try.

[–] clockworkrat@slrpnk.net 4 points 18 hours ago

You've just dragged a memory out of my childhood; was up at my teacher's desk handing in classwork and was idly rubbing the table leg while she checked it. Afterwards she gently pointed out that I had been rubbing her toe.