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I delete comments pretty frequently. Sometimes you just realize you've said something that's gonna lead to a bunch of unpleasant interactions, and you'd rather just everyone have a pleasant day.
I actually wrote a big reply mentioning a time I did this... and deleted it because I didn't want to chance another dog-pile.
I cancel posting comments all the time. I write out this whole thing and then when I get to the end of it, I realize I don’t actually want engagement. Sometimes the internet can be a bit hostile and I’m not always in the right state of mind to want to invite it into my life that day.
I discard more posts than I post. Overthinking cancels out impulsivity pretty well.
That's my realization back on reddit after a few years since I joined around 2015. I rwalzied I just don't want any engagement when it's something even slightly heated.
Back before I joined reddit I used to hang out in manga scanlations (scanning and translating) forum sites and well, things always gets heated and I a was a vile young man. As I get older and got a job, I realize I just have no energy left to do other things if I'm constantly enraged and seeking things to get enraged about. So off my own sanity I avoid commenting unless it's just something silly or whimsical.
But even then people still sometimes do that twitter meme: "I like pancakes". "SO YOU HATE WAFFLES HUH????!!".
I usually when that happens I put down my phone / step away from my computer for some minutes and just ignore it.
Now that I'm here, I'm also being even more careful. Being a lot smaller than reddit, even compared to the period around 2016 - 2020 reddit, makes it that my name might be a bit easier to stumble upon. Not that there's stopping anybody to stalk me here or even in back on reddit. I keep a low profile and just lurk. Seems to work fine for me.
It's good to read I'm not the only one that disengages so much. I often lurk lemmy every day but do not comment causing people to think I am inactive on lemmy. I have several drafts of comments I never submitted. I once saw someone on lemmy talk about lies they grew up with and said they welcome a woman's perspective since some of them concerned women. They actually still had perspectives that were problematic and I gave the smallest push on them since most of their comment I agreed with, that caused them to crash out and edit their comment, tell me I am upset and need to calm down and that my experience as a woman was wrong compared to their experience as a man that knows some women and that I am regurgitating thoughtless social media views, just turn aggressive from 0 to 100. It just drains so much of my energy to comment.
Fuck waffles and pancakes. French toast is where it's at!
You've just made an enemy for life!
Absolutely. I've written multiple paragraph responses, and then I realize I may have to argue that or just engage more than I'm willing to at that time and just delete it. I've got more important things to do than engage in Internet discourse.
I'll do this post it then disable inbox notifications.
I've looked at my inbox maybe twice in the last year.
I post then move the fuck on, anyone replying to me only gets a reply if k accidentally stumble back on the same comment later.
Everyone else can pound sand. Replying is almost never worth it
More often this realization comes when I see the reply notification. It's a "wow, I actually don't want to participate in that discussion" reaction.
I want there to be a less turbulent internet where all the biggest media and message board sites are carved up into shallower pools and someone just making their first post is more likely to get constructive engagement instead of being immediately at the mercy of ten thousand people who will tear them apart. Let us focus group our posts with likely pals before it floats out to the open waters of global criticism. I know you still have to prevent echo chambers and figure out how to balance safety with engagement, so it's not a simple problem to solve when it comes to finding the right algorithm. It's just that right now, engaging with mass social media feels a lot like boarding a rickety canoe that's already actively immersed in Class 5 rapids.
Even deciding to say something in small social media places such as this one involves bracing myself for a potential onslaught of disagreement about something I didn't think about or got wrong or didn't think was as big of a deal as they clearly do. It's part of what made me improve my debating and spelling skills very early in life after visiting early message boards and chat rooms. But there was a limit to the number of people who could yell at you back then. I look around now and feel things have become a bit out of hand.
And save for common sense legislation, the only way to change the way modern social media operates is to make new brands of media that are both more engaging than existing forms and prioritize health over profits. Humanist social media, which might be a myth, to think that you can match the user retention of existing companies without tuning your algorithms to maximize addiction. But possibly, having a healthy relationship with social media and learning positive things from people online can be addictive in its own way. Maybe in a way that can drive user retention even higher than current systems could ever hope to. But they'll never know because making a system that gradually dismantles capitalism doesn't sound profitable. In any case, I think we should try.
I mostly just add stuff in that situation. I might've been wron, unclear or in a different context. Just now I had a post where people thought I was supporting trump(a actions) in a way and I tried to add things I thought obvious.
But I also get what you're stating. I think that's when I wrote a post and then delete the test before posting. So maybe thats basically the same.