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That's my realization back on reddit after a few years since I joined around 2015. I rwalzied I just don't want any engagement when it's something even slightly heated.
Back before I joined reddit I used to hang out in manga scanlations (scanning and translating) forum sites and well, things always gets heated and I a was a vile young man. As I get older and got a job, I realize I just have no energy left to do other things if I'm constantly enraged and seeking things to get enraged about. So off my own sanity I avoid commenting unless it's just something silly or whimsical.
But even then people still sometimes do that twitter meme: "I like pancakes". "SO YOU HATE WAFFLES HUH????!!".
I usually when that happens I put down my phone / step away from my computer for some minutes and just ignore it.
Now that I'm here, I'm also being even more careful. Being a lot smaller than reddit, even compared to the period around 2016 - 2020 reddit, makes it that my name might be a bit easier to stumble upon. Not that there's stopping anybody to stalk me here or even in back on reddit. I keep a low profile and just lurk. Seems to work fine for me.
It's good to read I'm not the only one that disengages so much. I often lurk lemmy every day but do not comment causing people to think I am inactive on lemmy. I have several drafts of comments I never submitted. I once saw someone on lemmy talk about lies they grew up with and said they welcome a woman's perspective since some of them concerned women. They actually still had perspectives that were problematic and I gave the smallest push on them since most of their comment I agreed with, that caused them to crash out and edit their comment, tell me I am upset and need to calm down and that my experience as a woman was wrong compared to their experience as a man that knows some women and that I am regurgitating thoughtless social media views, just turn aggressive from 0 to 100. It just drains so much of my energy to comment.
Fuck waffles and pancakes. French toast is where it's at!
You've just made an enemy for life!