I'm not the artist, Pizzacake is. Source
this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2026
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Relationships work best when you just do things.
Only job I don't touch is laundry. I'm perfectly fine doing it, but my spouse has the most convaluted ADHD non-system. When I do help I end up washing clean clothes and putting away dirty clothes because I can't tell what pile is what.
All I had to do was ruin a few articles of her clothing and I was off the job. I was truly trying to be helpful, but the blowback was real. I still do my own, however.
My spouse set up individual tubs for each person's clothes to be put in after the dryer (including tubs for blankets and towels).
Very organized, but the entire laundry room floor is covered in these individual tubs.
I fold things as soon as I take them out of the dryer so I can avoid the tubs.
My wife and i kind of just fell into set tasks that we dont mind doing, but the other person hates. For example, i hate emptying the dishwasher, but i dont mind filling it. She does all the laundry, i do all the bathroom cleaning.
I love my partner but honestly, gun to my head, I could never get a load of her laundry done without disaster. I tried, but determining which of her infinite identical black articles of clothing are hand-wash only, which are dry-clean only, which are cold wash hang-dry, which are tumble dry light, etc. is a skill I completely lack. Add to it that she's autistic as all hell and so has removed the tags from every article of clothing she owns and I never stood a chance on this one....
(meanwhile my own laundry follows the "if it can't go into the wash on heavy-duty, hot, it's weak and needs to be culled from the herd" line of thinking. I'm not particularly presentable, I admit.)
Yeah, my wife and I have a general rule that if it goes in the laundry basket it gets cold regular duty then high heat tumble dry unless otherwise stated (as in each time it's in there). I've got a few hang drys and so I just say I'm doing the laundry when they're in it. And I always fold because I'm the one who's more peculiar about how my dresser is organized.
There's a certain point in peculiarity where if you need the chore done that way you can do it yourself or you can learn to live with how your partner does it