Yes i kinda dislike it as it is a source of problems and just accepting it wouldn't really solve any issues.

Sadly I've been trying to fix it for years, problems probably started or at least become noticable over a decade ago. By now i have already exhausted approved medical and physical means in trying to fix it, even started replacement therapy eventually as test levels were on the low end even despite doing as much as possible to boost those.

While it has had rather good outcome on overall physical and mental health, it hasn't had any effect on libido.

Haven't yet delved into balck market or anabolic steroids territory, yet and of course therapy is still left, but that's rather expensive and social stigma is kinda strong on that subject. Especially for a guy who seemingly shouldn't have any issues regarding it.

I apologize in advance if it gets too depressive or over sharing. I've noticed over the years that just writing things down can be kinda helpful in at least articulating and getting a better understanding of my own mental processes.

Fair, yeah i wouldn't hate another individual over something that simple aka gay man not wanting to fuck woman. It's rather easy to accept other individuals than oneself. It's so much more easier to hate oneself and beat oneself up, even if it's completely irrational. It's something that can be done, even if detrimental, but it gives at least some form of an illusion over having control over it.
Like not remembering to initiate more or being too tired and not pushing through it or forgetting actions that make the partner feel wanted or the equipment being already fully primed and ready to go, but the mind not being there. If i fail those, it's my fault. I have to do better and try harder. Maybe if i keep searching for long enough i will eventually find a cure or a fix.
Accepting asexuality seems like giving up without a fight, like surrendering.

While love and intimacy might be rather complicated concepts for me, as I've understood yes those are possible without sex, but once again from a practical perspective overwhelming majority of people do see sex as the main distinction between friendship and a relationship. So the lack of drive or desire is going to be a rather huge disadvantage.
Yes i know and been told that I'm not supposed to "date" half the population, so the disadvantage shouldnt matter, but i never did manage to figure out what's supposed to be the driving force beyond practicality then.

On the broader complaints part. Fair, probably a bad example as i tried to show the effect of not feeling wanted and the burden of being the one who disproportionately has to initiate, while taking it from a too biased perspective and not properly knowing the background details, though it still does hit rather close to home being at the opposite end of it.

It's not reactive, it means that attraction is conditional on an emotional bond existing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demisexuality

Fair, reactively getting turned on kinda fits under outside influence part. Though cant tell anything about the bond/connection aspect, as thats way too vague and complicated for me.