Well, I wouldn't call The Outer Worlds on Switch unplayable in any technical sense. It is playable, it just looks like smeared shit so it's kind of hard to look at for long periods of time. All video games give me some degree of motion sickness, but one that's blurry and janky is going to do it much much faster.
But yes, I would love to know how they justified saying Bloodstained would run on a Wii U or a PS Vita. My guess is they changed the engine partway through development, and the old version that we never saw would run on those platforms. But at some point they ditched the old engine for the newer one, and decided that even the Switch port would use the new version, performance hit be damned. My guess is, it was originally a straight up 2D game (maybe with some depth), but the addition of curves (like when you approach the castle, or the dragon towers) required a newer engine that would not run on Wii U or PS Vita. That's just a guess, but it does check all the boxes, and it fits the narrative of Bloodstained being Iga's passion project. So he probably kept adding to it, and adding to it some more, trying to make it the biggest Iga-vania he could, in case he never got to make another one.
DDDD.
Assuming the description is incomplete and they're oatmeal raisin. Because I see raisins.
I know some people hate oatmeal (raisin) cookies, so lemme drop some sweet truth on you. Replace the raisins with butterscotch chips. "Oatmeal Scotchies" are vastly superior to chocolate chip cookies!