akunohana

Thank you. My age is one of my biggest hurdles when it comes to my mental health, so honestly, this is kind of triggering. But I of course understand what you meant and I'm grateful for the encouragement!!! 🩵

I have always known how I want to behave, talk, look and feel. But I grew up in such a cisnormative context that I internalized the mantra, "something's wrong with me". My mental health issues didn't help either: I had no sense of self worth whatsoever. 💔

But I am here now. And I believe in my future. 🩷

I immediately started looking stuff up and found this treasure trove. Thank you for the suggestion!!! 🩵

Would've preferred to see at least one shiny in there, but this is good (read: awesome) too. 🙂

Just installed and tried out Echoes of the End. After having played extremely story driven titles - like the two Horizon games - I just couldn't learn to love this one. Which is weird, since I LOVED Nier:Automata, for instance.

On another note, this week, I also installed and beat three times, MiSide. I'm absolutely in love. What is wrong with me. 🤣

On yet another note, anybody going to this: https://www.musicofsquareenix.com/tour

That is SO beautiful! I shall keep in mind, that all steps matter. 💙

Thank you for informing me! I did actually note that there were some links on DIY. I shall see what this years brings. It's still so new to me, the fact, the notion, that I can be the way I actually am. All these years of repression... oi...

Anyway, thanks again! 😊

Thank you for your kind words! 💙 I will definitely keep in mind, that awesome phrasing: it's a marathon, not a sprint. It's like you saw right through me. I was in fact in a rush on the inside. 😆

Finally back on a PC and keyboard 😅

What got deleted earlier was, although not in its full glory:

"English please. 😭" was just a really bad joke, trying to imply that makeup, to me, is like a foreign language that I don't understand.

I can't stop smiling just by the thought of trying on nail polish! 😆💙 Maybe I'll check some out tomorrow when I'm also looking for perfumes.

There is a great thrift store where I live with a great selection of clothes that send a great variety of expression and identity! I live in isolation, but there might be one person whom I could ask to lend me, or even hang out with me when I try out, their nail polish. Although I can't stop wondering what she'll say when I ask her not to call me a boy.

I wrote such a long reply and accidentally pressed "cancel". 💔

I guess I'll just write the most important part for now: thank you so much for your heartwarming response! And thank you for not accepting transgenderness being framed as a medical condition. I easily go along with that jargon because of the hoops I have to jump through to justify myself. I even feel anxious about talking to the physician tomorrow, you know?

Anyhow, thank you for all the great advice!!!🩵

I haven't begun transitioning yet, but regarding not having anybody to talk to who truly understands you, I feel you. Painfully so. I am already depressed and the isolation makes it worse. Antidepressants do help to take the edge off so that I don't end up lying in bed, all day, catatonic. I don't even know what I was trying to say here. Oh, right, these online communities also do help. I know it's nothing like the real deal, but I think you can feel genuine caring and love digitally too.

The horrifying flashbacks that cart/wagon gave me are just unreal. This is genius. 🩵

Virginity: I'm the only thing you can lose and never get back 🥰\
Source code: Hold my beer 🍺