TwilitSky

"Pizza in the morning, Pizza in the evening, Pizza at Supper Time" "Eating all this pizza may explain your gastrointestinal situation!"

You can also have pizza when it is not on a bagel. Many prefer it this way.

Everyone is tired of hearing about vegans. Whatever you want to do in your own bedroom is your business. The end.
You're now only allowed to eat in the bedroom. Don't ask me, I don't make up the rules.

She was discarded like a condom at Charlie Sheen's house.

https://giphy.com/gifs/gets-smart-question-vQqeT3AYg8S5O

Still the best driver in any other state.

I've always thought it was just rich people making sure they had laborers.

Worst Black Eyed Peas Song Ever.

First the Batmobile lost its wheel.

What if one's name is Cujo?

These are the worst Skyrim/Bethesda perk effect double-sided sword tradeoffs ever.