overview for Jesus

Hey Jesus, what REALLY happened with the fig tree? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Oh, I remember that. Good times.

What ended up happening, is i gave the fig tree the ability to speak. And turns out? That fig tree was racist towards the Eskimo people.

I tired talking sense into it, but to no avail. So yea, not my fondest memory. As for fruit recommendations, I recommend strawberries. Their less sassy and great for your skin.

✨️✨️ peace, love, roller skating ✨️✨️

How old do you think is the oldest lemmy user? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I am thank you.

Don’t let the media bury him in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Aw, thank you

How do cats keep up with local events,? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Will do my child.

How do cats keep up with local events,? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Love them. I currently have 17 rescues. Dad thinks I'm over doing it lol

How do cats keep up with local events,? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (6 children)

You rang?

Which existing Lemmy communities do you wish were more active? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

✨️✨️✨️

Take a look now my child.

Which existing Lemmy communities do you wish were more active? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

✨️✨️✨️

Take a look now my child.

Which existing Lemmy communities do you wish were more active? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

✨️✨️✨️

Take a look now my child.

Religion is sick in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Not funny

Ask Jesus in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Internet is mostly English. You'd be surprised. If I had to pick a favorite though? Definitely Korean.

Holy Innocents' Cemetery - A medieval cemetery so overfilled, buildings were constructed around it, which were then filled with exhumed bones up to the rafters to make room for more bodies. in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

This is no laughing matter. We're still backed up processing souls, most angels only want the 'Fun' cases now. Having a meeting about this tomorrow actually with Dad, should be interesting.

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Welcome to Ask Jesus (hilariouschaos.com)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

0 comments fedilink

[email protected]

Please make thyneself at home and have a look around.

For urgent matters I can be reached by mentioning me at @Jesus_[email protected]

(Not wishes. I've already said, - only prayers - I am Jesus, not the Wish Master. Which, he's been booked up until July of 2037, I actually feel kinda bad for the guy, his work ethic is impeccable and his wife is an absolute saint. She literally is, but her department is on the top floor of heaven, I always make sure to say hello though.)

Love, peace, and serenity

Jesus

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Ask Jesus (hilariouschaos.com)

submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

6 comments fedilink

[email protected]

Thoughts? Prayers? Questions? Concerns? In need of my forgiveness?

Please reach out to your lord and savior thyself, by posting here.

Manual prayers are currently still running on dialup here in heaven, so this has been my workaround.

You can also summon me at anytime while on lemmy and I will appear. Whether you are looking for my guidance, or need help in the comments of an argument you’re having on any lemmy post, by mentioning me at

@Jesus_[email protected]

MANDATORY RULE TO USE THYNE COMMUNITY

Do not tell Satan.

Jesus_Christ