EnthusiasticNature94

joined 3 weeks ago
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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you for your insight.

I was more concerned about how men reacted to it than the legitimacy or analysis of the 'bear vs man' hypothetical.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you for your insight.

I was more concerned about how men reacted to it than the legitimacy or analysis of the 'bear vs man' hypothetical.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Your logic is undeniable.

However.

Frosted Flakes are gr-r-reat! 🐯

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I agree, but respectfully, I'm not sure what this has to do with my comment. 😭

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Thanks for the read.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, I'm not engaging with the bear vs man debate, lol.

I'm more concerned about how some reacted to it than the debate itself.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Also, somewhat off-topic, but since you mentioned sharing important explanations to others, I have some that have worked for me. Feel free to disregard if they're not helpful for you.

What I personally found persuasive when speaking with men is citing the research that 87% of rapes against women by men are explained by repeat offenders, which is 3% of men. That means 5 out of 6 rapes are done by a very, very small portion of men.

And it might explain some of the disconnect. 95% of men didn't rape anyone, so they might be genuinely confused at the strong reaction.

I also explain that rape causes the equivalent of $122,461 in damages to the victims. This is just what is quantifiable and measurable via econometrics - the subjective damage is obviously much higher (and I am personally seeking reparations for much higher than this based on my own calculations).

5% odds with a random man might not initially seem that bad to some until I explain that it's equivalent to rolling a nat 1 in D&D. That and you are literally rolling a 1d20 for each man you encounter, so unless you only meet at most 19 men in your lifetime, you're expected on average to roll at least 1 nat 1.

I also explain that addressing rape culture benefits men, too. About 1 in 3 men are raped in their lifetimes, and about 40% of women blame victims and survivors (of all genders). Also, in the majority of states and countries across the world, it is not legally possible, either in theory or in practice, for cis men to be raped. That, and a lot of (anecdotal and not measured, but I'll be measuring this one day) individuals, both men and women, believe that as long as no penetration happens, it's not rape. This belief is not just used to the benefit of cis male rapists against cis female victims ("It's not rape as long as I don't penetrate her."), but also been used against both cis male victims and lesbian cis female victims (by other cis women).

Often times, the counterarguments I receive are against the impressions left by bystander intervention training. I actually suspect that bystander intervention training is at best a profitable way to exploit funds for victims and survivors, and at worst a covert sabotage to create a bad defense for addressing rape culture. We don’t have good evidence yet that perpetrator-focused strategies actually work, and most strategies that have been rigorously evaluated are not only ineffective at preventing rapes, but sometimes increase false rape accusations against black men and decreases women's empowerment by reinforcing harmful stereotypes. Please, please stop funding, promoting, or supporting bystander intervention training, or at least fund a randomized controlled trial (RCT) of a bystander intervention training program to measure its impact (and it would give strong, nearly irrefutable evidence in support of it if it actually works). As stated earlier, 95% of men don't even rape, so the training doesn't do anything for them. And for the 3% repeat offenders who explain 87% of rapes, well, I, and many others, suspect that serial rapists are probably not going to stop just because some training to tells them to. That, and ~80% of rapes are done by people you know, in private or secluded spaces. It's very rare for some random man to jump out of a bush and rape you then and there. Bystanders can only intervene if they are actually nearby.

I don't have the names of research papers memorized off the top of my head, but all of these are Google-able.

I did a lot of edits trying to recollect all the discussions I've personally had. Hopefully these cover 80% of those conversations.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you. I was hard on myself, but the course was upfront that the exams would be challenging on purpose.

My understanding is that the grades are curved. I still feel bummed about the questions I missed, but from what I've heard from my classmates, I probably did relatively better even though I felt like I fell short.

The stuff I'm working on is too important for me to make mistakes, so I am especially hard on myself. I often feel like I'm the only one solving the problems that I am.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you. It's been rough, but she's finally back home.

She lived 18 years, despite a heart birth defect. Most cats don't even live that long.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you for this.

For some reason, I thought Lemmy had more women specifically because of how Reddit treats women. 😅

Still, it's not like people are incapable of understanding others who are different from them. I'm hopeful the men here will listen to reason.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Haha, no need to thank me!

It was more out of survival instincts and gauging my environment.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

LOL I hear you on that. 😭

Ah, I see. 😅 Thank you for explaining it. 🙏🏼

11
submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

1. Explore different interests before focusing on one.

  • Correct: Trying chess, trying basketball, taking an open online computer science course, cooking something new, trying tennis, learn how to draw your first digital art, learn the basics of competitive Street Fighter, attempt your first speedrun of a Trauma Center game, etc.
  • Wrong: Deciding you want to be a chess grandmaster WITHOUT exploring anything else first.
  • Research: https://characterlab.org/tips-of-the-week/sample-then-specialize/

2. Choose your Ultimate Goal in Life™.

  • Correct: After exploring several interests, you discover that you are persistently passionate about becoming a content creator.
  • Wrong: Graduating college (which is a great goal, but one that leads to your top-level goal).
  • Wrong: Getting 1 million Twitch subscribers (this might be an 'end goal', but your ultimate goal should be a journey, not a destination).
  • Research: https://youtu.be/NBgBy4vP_QE
  • More Research: https://characterlab.org/tips-of-the-week/step-by-step/

3. WOOP your life goal.

  • Video Guide: https://vimeo.com/262725813
  • Wish: What you want. (Your life goal.)
  • Outcome: Vivid details of the ideal outcome.
  • Obstacle: One (1) inner obstacle, something within your control, that is most likely to impede you from your goal. (e.g. Procrastination.)
  • Plan: If (Obstacle), then I will (Action). For example: If I feel like procrastinating, then I will shut off my phone and use the StayFocused browser extension to block out all irrelevant websites (YouTube, etc.) for the next hour.
  • Research: https://woopmylife.org/en/science

4. Use 'Expert Practice' to get good.

Video Guide: https://vimeo.com/797475870

If you are having difficulty brainstorming or connecting the advice from this post to your life, AI chats like duck.ai can help flesh out ideas.

And that's pretty much it! This advice is very generic to apply to as many people as possible, but if you follow these, you'll succeed in life.

 

Hey! New Lemmy user here. Happy to migrate from Reddit.

I created [email protected] so that others can seek and offer help.

I'm still hashing out the details, but this can range from anything to advice to wishlists to loaning/borrowing to fundraisers to literally anything else.

However, I will be putting in measures to prevent scammers from exploiting the community. From what I've seen so far, there doesn't seem to be a auto-moderator, so I'll probably need moderators to remove posts that aren't compliant. I also don't see a tagging/flair feature, so I'll work on a post title format for future posts.

15
submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

This is a new community in the works.

I'll be creating rules on post formatting soon.

Until then, feel free to post anything you need help for or are offering to help with.

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