I don't think I wanna know
this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2025
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Ceasefire Violation?
He died doing what he loved!
Starving, because I couldn't remember where I hid my nuts.
My dog finds and eats squirrel peanuts semi-regularly on walks. It's cuter than when he tries to catch them directly.
It finally caught up to me
The fucking Russians, of course.
Morti means "of death" in Latin. I guess I'm going to die of death...
Silently hunted down by a mysterious lone wolf.
I'm not sure I want to know...
The US actually does invade, and I die in some kind of defensive gambit where they take more casualties than us.
Unfortunately, that's a vibe killer now, because it doesn't feel totally impossible and we still like each other. Sorry.
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Tree
You wouldn't understand
Raptured by the One True Dog
I'm going to go down with my ship, bellowing orders to my crew until the last.
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Guess I run into traffic, yelling and waving at the taxi that just deliberately passed me by. Then I get hit by a truck.
Happily.
Whatever it is, it's going to be the subject of several YouTube documentaries.
🤨
Lots of beans
A detective stands over my lifeless body, Detective Salvitore is panting for air, desperate to catch up to her partner and mount the hill. She reaches the crest covered in sweat, vision blurring but enthused at the grim sight before Detective Glassgow.
Salvitore fumbles for her radio, wheezing a shaky "We... we... I... found-" before Glassgow cuts her off.
"Save it Sal, I already told them we found the vegan."
Wrong place wrong time during a controlled demolition
I guess I'm not growing old
Furiously stroking my willy.
Sleeping with the fishes
First I am. And then...
I'm not.
Boiled alive
Something the Scooby gang could have prevented.
Whelp...
I’ll never know. I blinked.
I dont want to think about it
I'll leave it to you, reader, to guess the "where" it is cast
Uhhhh.
Mine's pretty open-ended.
I'm going to go with gassing in a concentration camp for opposing the fascists.
History repeats itself.
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Derogatory slur
I'm already gone...
Painfully, I'd assume
Nihilistic fruit
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