Oh shit! I think my cousin might be a hydrophobic goblin! Do they also smoke too much weed and yell at video games a lot???
this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2025
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Consuming strange plants and yelling at technology they neither understand nor appreciate is textbook goblin behavior.
Bravo this advice is excellent
Sounds like a real advice for Dwarf Fortress player
They keep demanding a worthless quail bone bracelet, menacing with spikes of dolomite, and I hold my ground.
The furnaces with course with the metal of their armor, as the rivers run with their goblin blood... and hallways because DF is weird with water pollutants.
Now please make a guide on how to find gf irl (goblin familiar)
most goblins can be found in their nests where they sit wishing that a perfect partner (handler) will spontaneously appear in front of them
occasionally they can be seen outside trying to abide by human norms but failing in various ways
I wish a goblin would spontaneously appear near me. I even keep cheese for such an occasion
Just go to a bar and get really drunk. There is a non-zero chance that you wake near a goblin-girl.
'Tis a rare sight to behold a lonesome goblin in an inn, they usually visit those fashionable watering holes with their party to indulge in bacchanal and generally will not be interested in a drunken orb ponderer
You might need to grind this quest a few times until you get the appropriate result
Be careful though, you can accidentially multi-class to Drunkard, and they have CHA -6 even for goblin interactions
This made me absurdly happy.
very high bite risk
You mean, very high chance of tooth kisses?
What? Goblins hate dogs and horses.
Goblins ride dogs into war.
Those are Wargs.
They also ride wolves and squigs.
Time is money, friend!