this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
574 points (96.0% liked)

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[–] [email protected] 227 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Option 3 means that the Javascript standards team dies either way, right? Number 3. No hesitation.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 2 months ago (18 children)

the c++ team is a sacrifice I'm willing to make. can we just shoot Brendan Eich in the head if he's not in there too?

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 months ago

Push him onto the pressure pad. Make it his fault.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

I feel like all C++ does these days is badly and very slowly copy other languages. It wouldn't be a huge loss.

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[–] [email protected] 81 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Javascript Standards Team is such an Oxymoron.

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 months ago (3 children)

“You and your entire family” means “All life on Earth”.

That should make the decision somewhat easier.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

By my definition, family is who you treat like family.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I try to treat everyone I meet like family

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

If you make it "all human live" it starts to look quite attractive again

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago

there might be an argument that JavaScript kills more than a nuclear bomb

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Ok so this one just isn't fair.

Two possibilities end up with me dead, two end up with millions dead, and one ends up with me being unemployed.

Sorry not sorry Team A and B, sacrifices must be made.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I'd take my odds with the bottom track.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Assuming it is in the US, at 4.5 million it can only be San Francisco/Oakland/Berkeley.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

would the bomb also kill javascript and C++ or would I have to keep throwing trolleys at it until I get both silicon valley and the JS/C++ devs?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

At that distance it also kills you, so it sounds like a good deal. No regrets.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

win win win

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I've played enough X-COM to know that 50/50 is actually 100%, I just don't know which way. Better trigger it!!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

30%? Let me deliver that shot with crit across the map to your teammate hunkered down behind full cover for you!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

A Mark VI only has a 18 to 160 kiloton yield.

Can we replace it with a B83?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Well, you can take yourself out of the equation because you're not tied down and can just move after flipping the switch.

chooses bottom track

"C'mon...c'mon!"

trolley heads towards committe members

"Dammit!"

runs over and jumps on the nuclear bomb pressure pad

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'll take the 50/50 because those are some damn good odds!

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

Joke's on you I hate myself and my family

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Am I in the Metropolitan area?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You are on track A and the bomb is within sight. If you get the shit end of the 50/50, everyone in the diagram would be vaporized instantly

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So you're saying there's a 100% chance the comitees get vaporized by choosing the bottom track.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well, no.

In scenario A they are instantly vaporized. In scenario B they are brutally sliced into multiple pieces and crushed to death, rather painfully depending on the speed of the trolley.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

You need to study up on your trolleys. That's clearly a Vaporizer Trolleynator 3000.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Are we in the blast zone of the nuke?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe we could use Javascript to direct a simple robot to set the lever while we remain at a safe distance?

Maybe the real solution to this diagram is to nuke it from orbit.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But the robot has to run windows vista

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

And have a valid Apple developer account?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

sudo rm train.sh

problem solved 👍

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Fuck the metro I guess.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Middle track. Then I have plenty of time to hotwire the nuke with my handy dandy mallet

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

There is at least one user here in the superposition of being on two tracks at once.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I like those odds

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Now how do I get it to drift over everything but teams a and b?

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