TechTakes

Orion is so powerful and dangerous it can write a memetic virus that mindwipes any reader who sees it. It is beyond science. If you use it within three meters of a lit candle it will summon the devil.

It's so dangerous it'll tell you to make more glue pizzas

It's the least of this thing's problems, but I've had it with the fucking teasers and "coming soon" announcements. You woke me up for this? Shut the fuck up, finish your product and release it and we'll talk (assuming your product isn't inherently a pile of shit like AI to begin with). Teaser more like harasser. Do not waste my time and energy telling me about stuff that doesn't exist and for the love of all that is holy do not try and make it a cute little ARG puzzle.

Just don't ask it to count the number of Rs in the word ORION, as that will trigger it to turn us all into paperclips and then output the wrong answer.

Orion is coming?

Quick, get him a towel!

I heard openai execs are so scared of how powerful the next model will be that they're literally shitting themselves every day thinking about it. they don't even clean it up anymore, the openai office is one of the worst smelling places on earth

So how many ChatGPT 4s have they precariously stacked up on top of each other this time?

Every model they've released (after 4) has been seemingly worse than the previous.

really stretching the meaning of the word release past breaking if it’s only going to be available to companies friendly with OpenAI

Orion has been teased by an OpenAI executive as potentially up to 100 times more powerful than GPT-4; it’s separate from the o1 reasoning model OpenAI released in September. The company’s goal is to combine its LLMs over time to create an even more capable model that could eventually be called artificial general intelligence, or AGI.

so I’m calling it now, this absolute horseshit’s only purpose is desperate critihype. as with previous rounds of this exact same thing, it’ll only exist to give AI influencers a way to feel superior in conversation and grift more research funds. oh of course Strawberry fucks up that prompt but look, my advance access to Orion does so well I’m sure you’ll agree with me it’s AGI! no you can’t prompt it yourself or know how many times I ran the prompt why would I let you do that

That timing lines up with a cryptic post on X by OpenAI Altman, in which he said he was “excited for the winter constellations to rise soon.” If you ask ChatGPT o1-preview what Altman’s post is hiding, it will tell you that he’s hinting at the word Orion, which is the winter constellation that’s most visible in the night sky from November to February (but it also hallucinates that you can rearrange the letters to spell “ORION”).

there’s something incredibly embarrassing about the fact that Sammy announced the name like a lazy ARG based on a GPT response, which GPT proceeded to absolutely fuck up when asked about. a lot like Strawberry really — there’s so much Binance energy in naming the new version of your product after the stupid shit the last version fucked up, especially if the new version doesn’t fix the problem

The release of this next model comes at a crucial time for OpenAI, which just closed a historic $6.6 billion funding round that requires the company to restructure itself as a for-profit entity. The company is also experiencing significant staff turnover: CTO Mira Murati just announced her departure along with Bob McGrew, the company’s chief research officer, and Barret Zoph, VP of post training.

All the problems with “AI” are suddenly solved now that Altman needs to justify his funding. I’m sure senior executives are jumping ship right on the cusp of their great triumph, because they want to spend more time with their families.