The Onion

Company launches new dress code for men to increase masculinity in the workplace ..... all males are now required to wear just a small loin cloth and cover themselves with oil.

Zuck seems bored. Maybe he should donate his fortune and start over. Prove he is the shit.

He will need to change his name, and shave his head, and not us his contacts (humans, not lenses).

Is Zuck projecting just because he can’t grow facial hair?

Masculine energy is a large part of what makes our corporate and political world feel so shitty in the first place. Specifically, the energy of these swaggering blowhard men who need to impose themselves on everyone else and accumulate power and wealth in order not to drown in their own insecurity.

Not an original thought among them. Just make up some bro-science about manliness, because that’s what you imagine about yourself, and indicate that nobody else meets this fictional standard. Nevermind you wouldn’t last 5 minutes in a closed room with a psychotic housecat. Guess he skipped using terms like “Alpha” male and “Beta”, but it’s the same old shit.

These people are so boring. No original thought. Bring back manliness wah wah wah. How about he bring back some old fashioned manliness by working in the factory all day and then go home and be quiet? Ah no of course not that kind of manliness.

So dull

The Chaser should have gone through with their rebrand.

Sure thing, enlarge that target on your backs idiots