this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2024
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[–] shutz@lemmy.ca 105 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The real question to ask is, does it contain any chemicals?

I only eat ham that is 100% composed of virtual particles.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Tachyonic ham is stored in the pork futures warehouse two streets over, ma'am.

[–] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

mmm pork futures. Think it'd make good bacon?

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, it's in large part dihydrogen monoxide. But it's less DHMO than the low sodium variant. So you've got to decide, do you want sodium chloride or dihydrogen monoxide?

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 year ago

I heard too much dihydrogen monoxide can kill you. Gimme the sodium chloride.

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

Used to be I could get my neutrino chorizo at the corner store. Simpler times

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 50 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Is that ham processed? If it's processed, I don't want it."

Customer only buys live hogs.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 5 points 1 year ago

Customer does not buy anything due to the checkout process.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 47 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Reminds of Far Side - by Gary Larson -

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Damn, that's a dark one for him.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 9 points 1 year ago

At least it's unprocessed.

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

"Sold. Four marks."

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I read possessed and was quite confused

[–] robolemmy@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago

“So you want deviled ham, ma’am?”

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

The crazy thing is, most ham that's perfectly shaped isn't using any kind of meat glue or enzyme (it's basically only used on expensive cuts of meat), but just pressed together in that shape and naturally re-adheres during cooking.

"So essentially all boneless hams -- which are restructured products that consist of meat pieces bound together -- don't include meat glue, but rather salt-soluble protein as a binding agent that is extracted from the meat surface during a process called massaging, or tumbling."

https://www.psu.edu/news/agricultural-sciences/story/meat-glue-issue-involves-wide-misunderstanding-expert-contends

[–] NoSpiritAnimal@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

She tumbled on my meat surface until she extracted my salt-soluble protein binding agent.

[–] Dkarma@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Zaddy vibes

[–] CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

"naturally"

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I don't care what anyone says, bologna tastes delicious.

Edit: I looked it up and bologna is not as much of an unholy amalgamation as I thought. Still tastes delicious.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

For when hot dogs are too gay

[–] AmosBurton_ThatGuy@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

Have you tried frying it in a pan? Fucking delicious tbh.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I mean ... Yes please, olive loaf. Regardless of my desire to consume it, though, I'd like to know whether it's unholy like bologna apparently is not.

[–] GetOffMyLan@programming.dev 2 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Pigs are pretty much proof of god. There's no way nature could create such a ludicrously delicious animal. Every fucking part of it is just gorgeous.

[–] pastel_de_airfryer@lemmy.eco.br 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nah, they are proof of selective breeding, like all the "natural" food we eat

[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

That, and we've evolved to really enjoy foods high in sugar/fat/carbs/protein/etc.

If it has shit loads of energy, we love it, because that's what got us to survive.

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Humanity are gods confirmed

[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 4 points 1 year ago

Really shitty ones, but yeah.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Uhm, the modern, tasty pig was literally made by humans. The original version counts as venison and is more of an acquired taste.

Ok, if we take some of the older parts of the bible literally, god is in you, then indeed god has made the pig.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

We are truly blessed

[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

TIL in english pork cuts and pork sausage are both called ham

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 1 points 1 year ago