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Jackiechan-what.jxl
Beep boop:

Seriously. Is anybody surprised by these headlines?

What a weird way to spell “will” I mean they missed every letter, “could” some editor must be real embarrassed.
It's just their way of writing on something while avoiding a libel case against them.
Wadya mean 'could'?
he literally invested 44 billion for this
No shit sherlock.
No shit.
NO WAY
He’s been grifting taxpayers forever. His improved access just allows him to expand it. America sucks.
Well of course. As that was always the plan.
*will
Change the “could” in the title to “will” for better accuracy.
You could even go as far as changing the "will" to "is", looking at how much Tesla's stock recently gained due to the forward looking nature of the market.
~~Could~~ will
Is
what is with this trend of journalists slowly meandering to the point, tripping over themselves every step of the way?
musks’s conflict of interest has been staring us in the face since the DGE was first announced. (im not going to include the “of” in the acronym)
They get paid by the word.
if the article is long enough you could do a mid article ad as well
What else would he possibly use it for?
Other-people-enpoorment?
Bears could shit in the woods.
Noooo... really?
This just in, politicians can use their power for self-enrichment.
The people who this might be news to are already so disillusioned.
As an aside, I don't think the new department will actually do anything, it'll just find projects with weird goals and claim they can save us all $100 million. Wow, big money. The Pentagon has failed literally every audit with billions unaccounted for with no repercussions, every single year since we even started checking in 2017. This is not "well it's classified so they can't tell us", this is the Pentagon acknowledging they have ~$4 TRILLION in physical assets and about half are unaccounted for.
He wouldn’t do that though because he already has so much money.
He doesn’t need anymore…… right?
...right?
"I've investigated and my companies are the most efficient!"
🙄
Could?
That is the plan.
This is such a stupid headline. No one actually thinks it's anything else.
Isn't that the point?
This just in... Water is wet!
He wants to gut the FAA and DoT for daring to regulate his companies
No shit
could? probably already is
"Governments in capitalist society are but committees of the rich to manage the affairs of the capitalist class."
- James Connolly
Another insightful deep-cut article from my favorite columnist Captain Obvious
That would be such an unexpected plot twist! (No)
The acronym for Department of Government Efficiency is DOGE
Such wow. Much efficiency!
*Audible gasp
Is ‘could’ the new spelling of ‘will’?
"Would he do that?"
The Biden administration’s $42.45 billion BEAD program prioritizes fiber optics for rural broadband, but Starlink has been excluded for failing to meet performance standards.
This is a wild misrepresentation of what happened with starlknk and the broadband funding.
SpaceX won the deal where the metrics were ABC by year 2025 ( I think 2025 but maybe later)
In year 2022 or something like that, they did some tests, it wasn't at 2025 goals, and were like nah, you aren't gonna make it and revoked it.
No one else had that done to them. It's not like the fiber companies had laid their fiber yet to all the areas and they said oh you haven't done it all yet? Finding pulled!
I don't even know if a single house had been connected to fiber yet from that funding, while starlink had connected many thousands and was improving.