this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 27 points 21 hours ago (4 children)

I sleep only 4 hours a day. I pick the raisins out of my Raisin Bran and replace them with grapes. Why? Because I only sleep four hours a day and I'm not thinking straight. Alpha grindset.

[–] heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 2 points 14 hours ago

Just buy Wheaties already.

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Grape Bran doesn't sound as appealing to be 💯

[–] ElChinchilla@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago

Branbape, luifids nedeed. Hydratede. Bambulanmps.

[–] Shayeta@feddit.org 2 points 19 hours ago

You mean 4.5 hours? If not might as well shorten it to 3 since a sleep cycle is 90min and you're wasting time if you sleep 4.

[–] cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I've been sticking pennies up my ass for the last 15 years.

[–] ElChinchilla@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

10 dollars a day for 15 years. You've all handled my ass pennies.

[–] ElChinchilla@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

My favorite meme is "14 beers at chili's" and they do not have a VIP section.

[–] insanemantis@lemmy.world 13 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

The spelling of @entrapranure is just the cherry on top

[–] Rubanski@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 21 hours ago

Entramanure

[–] Stolas@lemmy.ca 29 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This sounds like one of those AI voiced stories that gets posted on facebook that my father listens to.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

its been on my camera roll since 2022

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[–] pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Can confirm. I was the ambition. I sat there.

[–] maxthemummer@lemmus.org 2 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

You must be my ambition. It just sits there, motionless, catatonic even.

[–] nymer@lemmy.zip 106 points 1 day ago (7 children)

Lol imagine what a VIP table at a Chili’s consists of.

[–] ElChinchilla@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

Like a holding cell of a Greensboro, NC police station

Thats the booth near the bar where servers roll silverware.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 1 points 19 hours ago

The private table in the break room.

[–] QueenHawlSera@piefed.social 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's a table covered in actual chilli

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[–] Postimo@lemmy.zip 24 points 1 day ago

Pshh, you have to imagine? I've lived it buddy.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 day ago

The chair isn’t stuck to the floor.

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[–] deHaga@feddit.uk 58 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Sounds like a linkedin lunatic

[–] ClownStatue@piefed.social 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sounds like a manosphere influencer.

[–] cinoreus@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Nah entraprenaure(the source) is a satire. But their satire is so on point most who land on their page don't realise it's satire.

Here's one of their shorts https://youtube.com/shorts/N3CiOjTDTEs

Edit:

https://youtube.com/shorts/L1ip6fu4N0c

This one will make it clear it's satire.

[–] ElChinchilla@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

The name makes it clear if you can spell and associate loosely related concepts.

[–] ClownStatue@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Oh, I got that it was satire. Wasn’t actually subtle at all. Just sounded like satire of a Chus like Andrew Tate, or that weird “Alpha Male” dick from Twitter.

[–] skisnow@lemmy.ca 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Andrew Tate sounds like a satire of Andrew Tate half the time. Trolling teh libs by being ridiculous is part of their whole shtick

[–] ClownStatue@piefed.social 1 points 14 hours ago

Exactly my original point!

[–] cinoreus@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

These two are freaking great at it though. The Royce du pont is still unhinged enough to look like satire, but the other guy is honestly undistinguishable from another 'alpha Male' influencer in some of his reels.

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[–] DrPop@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I didn't know Chili's had a VIP section. Then again I'm a poor unambitious schlub.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You won't believe what happens in the Chili's Champagne Room.

What's so unbelievable about a dozen guys sitting around eating sticks of cold butter?

[–] Undoobitably@fedinsfw.app 13 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Successful people aren't eating at Chili's, lol

[–] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago

That’s right I do curbside pickup

[–] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 3 points 20 hours ago

A truly successful person eats wherever the fuck they want without caring what lesser beings think

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago (4 children)

sounds like you dont know what real success looks like

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[–] maxthemummer@lemmus.org 1 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

You should see the dumps where he used to dine.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 2 points 19 hours ago

Disgusting dumps are the aftermath of Chili's.

[–] HeyJoe@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago
[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And then everyone clapped and the manager gave him $100€

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[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 19 points 1 day ago

Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He also got the "2 can dine for ~~$10.99~~ $25.99" and ate it all.

-price reflects adjustment for inflation.

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[–] kablez@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

Hey Mr. Scott, what you gonna do? What you gonna do? Make our dreams come true!

[–] dellish@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] mEEGal@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

whispered

pay attention

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