Programmer Humor

They are outcasts of society, so they stick together. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a network of furies all looking out for each other in every field. They probably have a secret handshake or wink or something.

The absence of shame is almost a social superpower.

you should they're super fun

I know my mother-in-law, and she knows everyone apparently. Excellent strategy on my part, having a sibling that got married. 40 years in the making that plan.

sounds like you’re not faking it enough

The thing is I hate dealing with recruiters because they'll never tell you anything unless you go behind their back, but the only reason I'd be incentivized to go behind their backs is because they are all universally useless, don't answer emails, don't negotiate a decent salary for you, and don't listen to basic instructions like I'm not willing to move out of the local area (they define the local area to be the entiretive of planet Earth, but predominantly Dubai).

I hate you. I've been trying to get into my dream job for 21 years to no avail, and yours just falls into your lap right after school.

Life under captialism isn't fair.

All 3 of those need a good massage once in a while.

Shit maybe I should get a job as HR sounds easy as hell

At past employers it has seemed to me that most of what the internal recruiters do is look back and forth between resumes and job descriptions and throw away the resumes that don't have enough bullet points matching.

And now we have AI that can do it even worse and even faster!

As someone who briefly worked in recruitment, the amount of people interviewed by people who have no frame of reference for anything about the job requirements is astonishing. Some people may say "but surely not for the high-level positions-" No. Especially for those positions. Because people like owners and c-suites want final say. And guess who knows nothing about these positions. Them. They literally hire presidents and vice-presidents based on vibe. Technical positions see a lot of this, primarily because even a bad interviewee is going to know more about their job than an executive whose primary job is the "idea and vision" guy. Just spit enough jargon, laugh at their jokes and you're in.

For reference, that company had a head of maintenance who as a friend of a friend of the owners. He just delegated the whole time and hit on any woman he found half-attractive. Thought he was just an asshole until I heard that he had honestly asked a production manager which side of a tape measure was the inches and which was the centimeters. Guy gave a visual run-down on how to use a tape measure to him. The head of maintenance. And he said thanks, and that he'd post it in the tool shed for his staff to reference. It became clear that he delegated everything because he literally didn't know about thing about his job. I would be surprised if he could point out a phillip's-head. Apparently he had the same job at a nursing home before that. I shudder to think of why he may have lost that job.

A few months after he got inevitably let go, he delivered my dominoes pizza. I don't look down on jobs like that, but that felt good.

A month after I graduated college I got an interview for a springboot position and I was telling the guy about my springboot project and he was like "we don't actually use springboot here, we use kafka instead" and I was just like wtf. Dude supposedly had 10 years experience as a dev and somehow my fresh out of college ass knew more than him. (Didn't get the job, still unemployed and its been a bit over a year since)

Yup I had a HR personally message me saying the person I recommended doesn't have a certification needed for the job. They have that in a different state, getting it in the state the job is in is as simple as saying "hey I passed the same exams you guys take (it's national), I'm registered and practicing in that other state, can I get approved here?" And they say "sure". It's small documentation and a bit of waiting period, but that's shorter than the training period of the job itself. I said a bit about that but they're like they don't have it in this state. Which I'd understand if it's just a way to say no without saying that person is not qualified for other reasons. Because most other openings I see in our industry gives the candidates 6months to get the certificate because it's easy

I hope I don't need to go this route. I'm currently looking for a new job, and I barely know anyone who can give me the hook-up.

Yeah.

Becoming a furry just to get in a line of work is like changing religion for the community support

golden ticket to literally any tech-adjacent industry, dealer’s choice