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show transcriptlastfmuser
imagine if people still took last names from their trade like fisher, smith and fletcher. imagine some guy introducing himself to you as jonathan podcaster

scribblestheunicorn
It’s him,,,

Ted Talker

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[–] MudMan@fedia.io 81 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Oh, you guys are thinking small.

Peter Executive (a vassal of Andy CEO). Mary Anesthesiologist. Alice S. Theorist. William Credit Authorizer. James M. Researcher.

The worst part is that, fun as this is, I'm having flashbacks of every time I've said something along the lines of "Matt from HR" and realizing that's how that has always worked.

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Renouned negotiator Matt Fromeichar

[–] MudMan@fedia.io 35 points 1 year ago (4 children)

"The prefix "from" is how you know a family comes from the old middle class. Rich families used "the", as in "Jane TheCeo or Peter TheChairman."

"Working class families just don't get a prefix. That's why there are so many James Burgerkings out there".

[–] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago

I see Jack TheRipper in a whole new light now

[–] nshibj@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

That's excellent

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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

That's how I always refer to my sysadmin colleagues when talking to others. Chris and Steve Classrooms, Bill Proxmox (née Vmware), and I'm Jack Networks-Linux. Not real names of course.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

David Searchengineoptimizer, Mary Marykaycosmeticssales, Oleg Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer.

[–] MudMan@fedia.io 5 points 1 year ago

Nobody thought Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer would be a good governor of California, but he ended up being more moderate than expected.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 55 points 1 year ago (3 children)

No one at school was picked on more than Timmy OnlyFans.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's why he started going by Timothy Olyphant in stead.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Oh, like Timothy Chaturbate/Chalamet?

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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We all remember Scam Bankrupt Fraud, right?

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

yea wasn't he the guy from FTX?

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, the guy who never got out of Bronze in LOL.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

To be fair, I never even got INTO bronze in LOL 🤷

[–] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Peter Unemployed.

Shameless pluck for "Qualityland" by Mark-Uwe Kling.

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[–] 5oap10116@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Look at me, I'm Bobby SitAtMyConputerAllDayAndAgeRapidly

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We call him Little Bobby Tables.

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Finally an accurate description for Jessica Fullstack Developer.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Gork@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

No. Jessica Fullstack Developer is also opposed to pants (religious requirement).

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just ask Tim Apple how that feels.

[–] cheers_queers@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

one of the podcasts i listen to made a joke about Tim Onion buying Infowars and i am still cracking up over it.

also I'm super upset that someone already took the handle tim_apple on everything😤

[–] cypherpunks@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's getting harder to discern reality from satire, but Tim Onion has actually been The Onion's CEO's name^*^ ever since he bought that job. And he is trying to buy InfoWars. (And the company formerly known as Twitter has joined Jones' fight to prevent it.)

^*^(his bluesky display name, at least)

[–] cheers_queers@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

thank you for making this even funnier for me

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[–] folekaule@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Hello, I am Bob Bugmaker, your software developer for this project.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine being the actual John Gamer.

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[–] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Etymology nerd on YouTube has a video on this! It's basically how we put people in our phones now, such as Alex (neighbor) and Alex (work), two names I actually have saved in my phone. They're more based on relationship than occupation now.

Edit: (neighbor) not (phone)

[–] WarlordSdocy@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That makes sense considering in the past knowing who your town's baker or other role was mattered. Now a days you don't really know the names of the people you get food and things from so it's shifted now to more relationship based.

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[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 year ago

Dolores del BullshitJob. Or Lola Shitposta.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 11 points 1 year ago

Dick Doctor Patrick Porn Star Caroline Creator Dan Designer Evan Entertainment Ian Importer Tim Apple

[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

María Tiktoker

John Uberdriver

Sam Gamereviewer

[–] Event_Horizon@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Shorten them and it works

Maria Toker

John Uber

Sam Vèiwer

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

“Sup, I’m Lance Crypto!”

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 11 points 1 year ago

Ohh no look out, it's Tim Moderator

[–] tiramichu@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 16 points 1 year ago

Influencer isn't a trade name and it will never be, Kailey Advertiser.

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Yosef Tuber

Isha Grammer

Fitzgerald Acebook

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[–] Seasm0ke@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Hi my name is Colin Support

[–] sicarius@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd be Jimbo Bomber.
A lot cooler sounding than my real name.
I'm an industrial radiographer and usually called bombers.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 year ago

Dang it and I was hoping you were What Bombs At Midnight.

Surf's up, space ponies! I'm making gravy without the lumps!

In the case of coppers it would be pretty convenient since they all go by their surname so they would all be, "Officer Pig", "Sergeant Pig", "Inspector Pig", "Detective Pig"

[–] essell@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Please see the excellent book "Jennifer Government" for a prescient look at where things are heading.

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[–] cheers_queers@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

can someone help me make "janitor" sound like a fancy French name pls

[–] m0darn@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 year ago

Custodienne

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

L’engienier du’sanitaccion

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[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 year ago

Jaques Concierge?

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