this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2024
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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 183 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You used to have to prove adultery in order to get a divorce in New York state.

Family story time! My great-grandparents wanted to get divorced and were in New York, so my grandfather lay in a bed next to his mother-in-law under the covers and my grandmother took a photo to present to the courts. My great-grandmother apparently never even took off her coat.

[–] gsfraley@lemmy.world 88 points 1 year ago

That's hilarious and somehow wholesome that everyone pitched in to get the separation

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 59 points 1 year ago

Woot to all the people that were horny but it was the legal system stopping them from cheating on their spouse.

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 47 points 1 year ago (31 children)

Great now make it so if you cheat you lose the ability to get alimony.

And an open relationship is different then cheating.

[–] Tedesche@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Honestly, I think it’s high time we ditch old marriage laws in favor of much more individualized marriage contracts that are settled in civil court if they’re dissolved. Modern marriages are much more complex than traditional ones and our antiquated laws don’t deal with them well. We’d have to update laws/policies about hospital visiting, medical decisions, inheritance, etc, as well, but I think it would be worth it.

[–] rottingleaf@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was in favor of individual contracts for most of my life.

But there's an issue - with individual contracts there's a greater degree of uncertainty every time someone goes to court over them.

It's the same as with individual contracts in other areas. Say, labor.

Power balance matters.

So - ideally yes, but in our real world with our real legal and enforcement systems - we may not be able to. Same as with labor, again.

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[–] SirEDCaLot@lemmy.today 11 points 1 year ago (14 children)

Yes absolutely this. Cheating should not be a crime you go to jail for.
But it should have consequences. I think a good way to go is a law that unless there is a prenup that specifically deals with cheating, and unless it was an agreed to open relationship or there was otherwise permission to cheat, a cheater is ineligible for alimony and must be considered morally suspect for the question of child custody.

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[–] pyre@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

that's the opposite of the point of these laws. the entire point of this and no fault divorce is that the state shouldn't dictate relationships. how are you going to adjudicate cheating anyway?

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[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fuck me finally. It was a the only thing keeping me a chronic virgin.

[–] muts@feddit.nl 6 points 1 year ago

Talking like a the famous plumber doesn't help either

I'm just waiting on incoming news about Hochul cheating on her husband.

[–] IndustryStandard@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

But can you legally marry multiple people

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[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Good, no one needs to go to jail unless someone's hurt

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