Pro tip: once you've secured the job just ask ChatGPT to do it. Same pay but more free time for you.
this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2026
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And that is the story of how I have my own personal chef and a team of arborists. Follow me for more advice.
You want to know about the big money? Look into cutting down trees on other people's property.
Cut down a mature hardwood tree on your neighbour's lawn and it might cost you tens, even hundreds of thousands of dollars.
There's got to be a way to monetize that.
Too late. Lawyers already have.
even removing a large succulent like a mature agave is dangerous(they have sharp spines, and very heavy and produces a poisonious sap.
I like the little detail that they can't do math.
$1,750 per job assuming ten jobs per week is $17,500 per week of working. Assuming 4 weeks per month, that's $70,000 per month. Assuming 12 months of working per year, that's $840,000 per year. I'd be calling it "almost a million" at that point. I think the math works out, but the business prospects don't.
He says 10 other jobs per week. So that’s $1750x11x52 which is over a million.
It also says 10 other jobs so 11 per week even
$1750 x 10/wk = $17,500
$17,500 x 4 weeks/mo = $70,000
What’s incredible is the number of commenters who don’t recognize obvious satire when they see it.
I'm pretty sure it's satire.
But....
Two things at play: people don't seem to critically/carefully read things very much, and Poe's Law has been so thoroughly beat into the ground the past few years that satire has taken a huge blow.
For what it's worth, many autistic folks have a hard time discerning satire so that kinda adds to it.
Hmm, most of the comments I read add interesting tidbits about the life of an arborist and the costs of removing a tree that people might not expect. I wouldn't say that the commenters don't understand the joke, I for one appreciate the extra information.
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Lamo. The delivery & cadence is perfect.
That was almost c/linkedinlunatics material for a second. Well done.
I agree with this guy but to the plumber trying to charge my mother 450 to re install the float valve assembly....fuck you man.
If the plumber is your mom's neighbor and has the float already, then yeah it's pricey but if they had to drive 30 minutes to get there and go to the store for the part, it really isn't that crazy. Also is it a legitimate business or just an under the table side job? Location in the country matters too.
Its not that the job is worth 450 dollars, its that his time is. If he's at your place fixing something easy, he's not somewhere else making that money he could make. The whole process of getting there and fixing it could take a couple hours.
Yeah, funny how it works. Of course of you know that's like a fifteen dollar part from the hardware store.
Another cheap but expensive one when a capacitor goes in an HVAC. Super cheap quick and easy but an HVAC company will probably charge $500 if you called them.
Can save a ton of money just knowing a few basics on your plumbing, HVAC, and cars.
Don't they say not to take apart microwaves because the capacitor could shock and kill you? Is it the same with HVAC capacitors?
Same except different. A microwave cap stores more current than most HVAC systems do. That doesn't mean you should play with those caps either if you don't understand what you are looking at.
Yup.
Crt monitors are the stereotypical "surprise, you just pushed the dead button!” device, but microwaves too.
Their transformers are the bit that kills the most hobbiests though. Crazy high frequency high voltage transformer that chooses not to fuck around when you plop it in your project.
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It's one of those things where it would be great if you could make an informed choice on whether you needed to hire a Master Plumber or save a bunch of money with Dave who has a pipe wrench and a youtube premium subscription. One of those things where if you knew enough to know whether you could get by with Dave, you're probably pretty close to doing it yourself.
What you are paying for with that master plumber is the knowledge of the codes and the experience that they have. Plus all the tools to do the job.
If Dave were worth his salt - he would be capable of telling you this job is over his head, or if you legally need a professional.
That's part of being a handyman. If he can't do that then he's dangerous, and not worth any amount of money.
And you'd best pay him for coming to this conclusion....
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Being an arborist is one of the most dangerous careers there are, this "passive income" guy would probably die in under a year.
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Completely missing overhead costs. We had a couple trees removed and it cost a fortune, or so I thought. But a crew of 6 showed up with 3 big trucks that probably cost 6-figures give or take. A chipper, a lift, and a tractor-trailer combo to haul off the trunks. All that has to be paid for, plus insurance, licensing, bonding, health care, payroll taxes, etc etc.
Everyone gets paid, of course, so they’re making money. But putting big bucks in the bank for the owner? Not likely.
The thing is, it's hard to discern where to stop... Could it be done safely with 1 guy and a truck? 2? Cherry picker? Did they need 6 guys, 3 trucks, and $300,000 worth of machinery to make it safe and easy? One costs 5x the other method, but it's just easier on them and not necessary at all in some cases.
My experience so far:
For the big company you pay a big chunk of money and they show up on time and are done in an hour or three. The tree(s) comes down fast, everything’s hauled off, chipped up, or ground down. They likely do several jobs in a day, so that’s where the money comes from. You know it’s 99% chance they are actually insured.
The small business consisting of a guy or two might get to you in a few weeks. He might or might not show up for the originally discussed time and day. They’ll be there for several hours, probably take a few breaks, and then they’ll need to drive off and retrieve their chipper truck. Maybe he’s insured. Maybe not. You’ve just got to go by his word. Grinding the stump might happen same day, or maybe a couple days later when they drag the stump grinder around to the last 5 jobs they did to finish them.
The big company will cost more. But not a whole lot more.
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As a former groundsman for an arborist, I was shocked at how much of what seemed like a ludicrous sum just bled away to nothing. Guy earned the equivalent of maybe 20$ an hour after expenses. This was 20 years ago, so that was livable and more than double what someone at McDonalds could expect to make, but the actual income he brought home to the family was microscopic compared to the 1.2 million he took in before expenses.
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I grew up with a wood burner for heat in the winter, so ever summer we'd go out and cut down a dead tree somewhere, cut into chunks that can be rolled or carried to a truck bed, hauled home, unloaded, and repeated until the entire tree was collected. That would mean probably 5-10 truck loads in a standard farm truck. With 3 non professionals running 2 chainsaws, that's 4+ hours not including drive time.
So while this is satire, for anyone who's not cut down a tree before, especially one with consequences if you fell it wrong, the pros make it look fast an easy.
The same with almost every work. We don't see years of expertise and background calculations behind every their action. Especially with good tools they are used too.
It's porn to watch a professional do what they are skilled for.
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I have helped remove a tree before, it wasn't over a house or in a dangerous place. We sawed the limbs top down. fell the trunk, cut it into firewood sized rounds, split it. and dug out the stump by hand.
It was a 15' tall tree.
5 unskilled labor, 20+ hours.
If we had the right tools, it might have been a couple-hour job for that tiny tree.
It's definitely a job worth paying someone with the right equipment to do.
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you could probably do 2 trees at the same time. that's over a million dollars a year
"Lawrence, what would you do if you had a million dollars?"
"I'll tell you what I'd do, man. Two trees at the same time, man!"
Alright so when the wood chipper sheds the tree all these extra bark chips just get tossed out. So we simplified the whole thing, we rounded them all down, drop the remainder into an account we opened.
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