this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2026
475 points (99.0% liked)

Not The Onion

22334 readers
965 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 32 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] arotrios@lemmy.world 145 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago

Aw, poor bambi

[–] fork@feddit.online 116 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] LemmyPlaceDN@europe.pub 7 points 2 weeks ago

We shall garg on deez nutz

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 96 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Garg, who made headlines for laying off 900 employees on a company Zoom just before the 2021 holiday season, says he was fired on August 3 just as he brought the company to the precipice of success.

Better has been through a lot with Garg at the helm over the past several years. During the pandemic-fueled refinancing boom when mortgage rates were below 3%, the company held an $8 billion valuation. Today, with an imploded refi business and rates closing in on 7%, the AI mortgage company’s market value stands at just $300 million.

Toss in a leave of absence after the embarrassing Zoom layoff fiasco, a whistleblower lawsuit (it was dropped), an investigation from the Securities and Exchange Commission (nothing came of it), a disastrous 2023 SPAC merger that sent the company’s stock cratering 93% and years of mounting losses … it’s a minor miracle that Garg lasted this long as CEO.

But Garg says he was just about to deliver on the company’s unlikely turnaround.

Oh brah, that sucks brah. But look, you know about AI so finding a new job will be a fun exercise for you as you realize all the hiring pipelines are completely broken because of AI.

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 weeks ago

C merger that sent the company’s stock cratering 93% and years of mounting losses

93%?! Fucking hell, that's really bad.

[–] BlaestEgnen@feddit.dk 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Maybe I'm stupid, but how does a mortgage company lose valuation when premiums increase?

Like hello, your returns are now greater than before. Did they make some AI calculation, for locked interest rates for their customers and then financed it by taking on fluid interest rates as a company?

[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Their whole business model was based around getting people to refinance. When rates are up, people don't refinance.

US mortgages are almost always fixed-rate, so increased interest rates don't change the premiums for existing mortgages, hence the drive to refinance when rates are low.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

US mortgages are almost always fixed-rate

A lot of them are variable-rate which is just insane. You're allowing your mortgage lender to charge you whatever interest rate they feel like charging, with your only out being the hassle of refinancing.

[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I've read that that's common in other countries, but I haven't heard of any here.

[–] taco@anarchist.nexus 2 points 1 week ago

It used to be more common, but I think it got a lot less so after the 2008 economy did its thing. At least that's my anecdotal impression.

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 week ago

says he was fired on August 3 just as he brought the company to the precipice of success.

Generally when people talk about success they don't describe it as a "precipice"...

Maybe that's why the company fell 93%, the CEO thought taking a dive off a cliff was a "success"

the precipice of success.

Shouldn't this be the foothills of success. If it's a precipice then the way ahead is down.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 81 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Vishal Garg feels duped.

The irony.

Fuck you, Vishal Garg.

Also, fuck Mark Zuckerberg, just because I haven't said it yet, today.

[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Throughout all of this, Mark could not be more disappointing. Despite saying in his note that “we are doing everything to get him free,” he doesn’t seem to be worried about Diego in the slightest. He seems to see this, first and foremost, as an opportunity to write a great Facebook post. A heartwarming story. If he cared even slightly about Diego’s welfare, or felt responsible for him as his boss, he wouldn’t be insisting on posting his little message to the world, something that could do great harm, before he goes out to dinner.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I just read that book. God damn is Zuck a wanker. On the other hand, the author was just nuts for ever thinking Faceblerk was anything other than what it is.

The author was naive and childlike, but I mean that without insult. Those people are good to have in policy and on ethics committees.

Somewhere in the multiverse Facebook may have been more utopian (see her Christchurch example), but in this universe Zuckerbergs lack of life experience (and morals) have it chasing the wrong metrics.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 74 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 56 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I wish him very little success in his future endeavours.

I wish him bad luck and misery and misfortune in his future careers

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 54 points 2 weeks ago

I read the article. What a fucking whinger. What does he want? Empathy?

No empathy for CEOs.

[–] SuiXi3D@fedia.io 38 points 2 weeks ago
[–] toiletobserver@lemmy.world 34 points 2 weeks ago
[–] fodor@lemmy.zip 22 points 1 week ago

"Cause I lost my job two weeks before Christmas. And I talked to Jesus at the sewer, and the Pope said it was none of his God-damned business." -Rodriguez

[–] aarch0x40@piefed.social 18 points 2 weeks ago

Sorry, your former role is better carried out by AI and at a far lower price point. In fact, we’re about to replace the entire C-suite with AI.

[–] SteveLeo@piefed.social 17 points 2 weeks ago

May they all get Mangioned (Mangione’ed?)

[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 16 points 2 weeks ago

I feel sorry that it didn't happen weeks before the holidays like what he did to his own employees. Let him sit with failure through Christmas dinner.

[–] tigermountain@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

I can only hope he finds himself in financial distress and has to worry about how he'll pay his bills. Saying he'll work for $1 a year tells me that's probably not going to happen.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

Vishal Garg-le deez nuts!

[–] Nasan@sopuli.xyz 7 points 2 weeks ago

The company had never been, Better