this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2026
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[–] Triumph@fedia.io 163 points 3 days ago (7 children)

Let me guess, their "expert" says to double down.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 116 points 3 days ago (21 children)

In many cases, parent-child estrangements are a cycle — "they'll re-engage, then they'll fall out again," Blake said. "One of the key things from the research is that adult children will reach out and if they see nothing has changed, they'll estrange again."

No, I actually think it's a pretty good article, and comes surprisingly close to outright saying the parents are the problem

[–] Signtist@bookwyr.me 42 points 3 days ago (7 children)

In my experience, even when I've framed it as "something needs to change" to try to be less direct in saying that they need to change, they still just say "correct, you do need to change." Hopefully some people will get it, though.

[–] LostCarcosan@lemmy.today 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

A few years ago, my dad was upset about how "you can't say man or woman anymore. How are you gonna call the cops on someone robbing you? Say 'It was a person average height!' Or they'll arrest you for using the word man!"

I just asked if he was fucking stupid and does that sound like something that would even remotely happen, then said I was leaving if that's how he thinks and left. Ignored any attempts at contact until he apologized and admitted he might be a little incorrect, which was progress enough to start.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I'm happy that your dad was smart enough to realize that he was being a dumbass and apologized.

I haven't spoken to my uncle in a year and change because the stupid fuck tries to compare the horrors conservatives had to endure under Biden to people being snatched off the street by masked thugs or being murdered in broad daylight by ICE. I told the dumb fuck he needed to do some thinking and realize why I was mad if he wanted to talk to me again, and I finally blocked him from even texting me cuz the stupid fuck repeatedly texted me me to call him about one thing or another to try to get me to drop my boundary.

I cut my mother out of my life years before (and he agreed with my decision then LOL) for dumb bullshit, I don't know why he thought he'd be any different.

[–] criss_cross@lemmy.world 35 points 3 days ago

Lmao that’s the hardest thing is realizing that there’s no magic words that will ever pierce their skull. They keep acting like you speak a foreign language because it’s easier to fake “not getting it” rather than come out and say the truth which is “I don’t value you enough to change my behavior”.

Once I gave up and quit my life got a lot easier.

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[–] cmbabul@slrpnk.net 75 points 3 days ago

I wouldn’t be shocked if they said to kidnap said adult children and send them to reeducation camps brought to you by PragerU

[–] heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yup, sorta “stand your ground” with that opinion so we can rule you via divide and conquer and your dependency on feeding your narrative.

[–] Burninator05@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If my in-laws watch this show the expert must be telling people to play the victim card whenever direct communication happens and post passive aggressive memes on Facebook.

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 days ago

That's the narcissist playbook, congrats you have narcs in your life

[–] A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

and use any leverage you got, emotional or material. (It was both in my case)

No, seriously, I'd love to know what the "expert" said.

...

The article itself is boilerplate advice. Basic stuff: really listen, admit your own mistakes, don't get angry. Avoid labeling. What's of course more interesting is why adult children choose to cut ties with their FOX-infested parents. And that article is extremely problematic.

[–] rainwall@piefed.social 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

They quoted the same Texas psychologist for both, and lordy does he come off as much more of a far right loon in the latter.

For context, he blames "victim culture," "gender ideology," "therapy" and "tiktok" for estrangement. Pretty clear to see where his biases lie.

[–] BillCheddar@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

All of his arguments boil down to "Keep your kids from finding support and you can keep them on your Boomer Plantation forever!"

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

You just reminded me not to call my mother.

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[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

L. O. L. That second article has some choice bits. Point 2 is almost good enough to post in its entirety:

"Someone might see a video on TikTok — 'I cut off my parents, and I'm much happier now. They were toxic narcissistic boundary crossers. And now I'm great,'" he said. "And people mimic that. Or they think, 'Oh, this person's getting a lot of attention.'"

Kids are going no contact for attention because of social media

Although he acknowledged that there are no long-term studies that have definitively documented an increase, "that doesn't mean absence of evidence isn't evidence of absence."

Just cuz we don't have evidence of the thing I'm claiming, that doesn't mean I'm wrong

According to Blake, society has shifted away from what he described as a "dignity culture" toward one that places greater value on "victim culture."

"So now it's a race to the bottom," he said. "If you don't have enough victim status because of the way you were born, you can create a victim status by suggesting your parents abused you or neglected you … and therefore you have value, a reason to cut them off."

And it gets worse.... The very next bit

The expert also pointed to what he described as "therapy culture," claiming that changing attitudes toward trauma and abuse have influenced how some people view relationships with their parents.

People are now seeing abuse for what it is, and abusers are mad about it

"Another justification is, ‘I cut off my parents to protect my mental health’ — and this is a sort of false belief," he told Fox News Digital. "There is this huge bias that if you're struggling in your adult life, it must be because your parents did something they shouldn't or didn't do something."

Yep, we're just faking being miserable dealing with magat family members how abused and mistreated us from childhood to adulthood. Clearly sticking by them is better for your mental health.

Blake also raised the issue of "moralized language," or "therapy words" that get thrown at parents — "such as abuse, toxic, boundaries, narcissists, gaslighting."

Yeah, even though he quickly follows it up with legit advice like asking for evidence of the behavior and using 'I' instead of 'you' or avoiding 'always'/'never' statements, that is a whole color guard of red flags that tell me this dude needs to go fornicate with a cactus before anyone listens to him.

I've had a narcissist parent attempt to try to DARVO my setting boundaries to protect my mental health from her emotional abuse into me being the toxic one because I wouldn't keep tolerating the cycle of abuse.

"If you look at the outcomes of the gentle parenting or the permissive parenting that we've slipped into, we have the most mentally ill generation in history, the least fit for adulthood," Blake suggested. "Perhaps we should be learning from our grandparents more than the therapists."

Yeah, we should just beat our children till they fall in line, or throw them in an asylum where we don't have to look at or deal with them. Much better.

This dude can get entirely fucked.

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[–] J92@lemmy.world 55 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Just ignore your adult child. Fox news will take care of you into your advancing old age."

[–] veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Im morbidly fascinated how mainstream media will pivot as their primary audience dies out. They aren't long for new media formats, so maybe they will die out as well

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

the younger rabid r fans are into the full propaganda stuff, like newsmax, or oan. or mostly the right wing podcasters.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago

Yep! Not to mention all the streamer chuds who play a bit of Minecraft, then explain to you about how wokeness ruined everything and why Palestinians kids should die, then play Balatro.

[–] BillCheddar@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Fox News is not mainstream media. Fox News is right-wing propaganda, explicitly set up to steer the country into the fascism that is currently eating the Constitution.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Fox News is not mainstream media.

Fox News was the top news outlet for 5 years in a row as of 2020. How is that not mainstream??

Fox News is right-wing propaganda, explicitly set up to steer the country into the fascism that is currently eating the Constitution.

What part of that precludes it from being mainstream?

I hate to be the one to tell you, but the right wing propaganda machine setup to prevent another Watergate scandal worked better than the creators ever could have expected.

[–] SeriousMite@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Sadly it’s mainstream propaganda.

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[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 99 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I had a read through, and they’re entirely not stating anything about “quit being fascist,” naturally.

[–] SpacePanda@mander.xyz 76 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Or taking responsibility, also feels like it manipulates the narrative. Reading some of this is giving me PTSD anxiety from dealing with my parents. Knowingly trapping you into proving how they make you feel. Because you can't come up with examples on the spot when they corner you means you must be making this up.

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 days ago

Using anxiety against you, that sucks I'm sorry. I'm the same way, especially when attention is on me I freeze and can't give examples. I started writing them letters but I don't think they ever read them. 😑

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[–] SpacePanda@mander.xyz 55 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (23 children)

FauxNews parents article

Expert is from Texas, just kinda want to put that out there lol article is about how you would expect it to be feels a bit manipulative while also sounding professional.

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[–] jtrek@startrek.website 48 points 3 days ago (4 children)

This seems a good excuse to repost his fascinating post about estrangement: https://issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons/

[–] alternategait@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Is lemmy ready for raised by narcissists/borderline? I

had to ration myself because I could get real upset reading too much of it, but it was also so so helpful to a) give names and ideas to things that happened to me and b) letting me know that my mother was not special and unique, but actually incredibly predictable.

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[–] anarchy79@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Murdered by words.

[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 46 points 3 days ago (5 children)

"If someone says, ‘When you criticize my weight, I left dinner feeling really, really upset,’ that's a fact. That's the person's interpretation," he said.

I don't feel like thats an interpretation. Why call it a fact and interpretation, did you fail high-school writer?

[–] atomicorange@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago

I took it to mean that feelings are facts - meaning the parent should take it as a true statement about their child’s feelings and not try to argue with them about why their feelings are wrong.

Not well phrased at all.

[–] db2@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago

It's doublethink. They've been peddling it for like decades now.

[–] eggpl4nt@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

It seems poorly worded. I think they were trying to say that the person's interpretation of what happened is a fact. Basically that someone can't handwave away how a person says they feel as if it's not true; how a person says they genuinely felt about something is true to them. I assume it is supposed to be targeted towards estranged parents who constantly dismissed their child's emotions and literally cannot understand how that is a bad thing to do.

[–] SpacePanda@mander.xyz 23 points 3 days ago

Its manipulative, its like making someone cry and then telling them feelings aren't facts.

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[–] SuperEars@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

A bit of a tangent, but I posted a review of Rise Against's song People Live Here. I think the song does more to speak to this topic than anything fox would explore with their viewers.

https://lemmy.world/post/37391041

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