Look at this rich mf with a brass toilet
this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2026
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You could shit into a open pit latrine or something.
I mean, thereβs only so many ways to contain water and catch waste efficiently.
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All hail the butt trumpets.
Especially before I knew I had gluten issues and was shitting 6+ times a day, I experienced a variety of materials across countries. Even toilets made entirely of plastic/polymers have basically the same issue. My second "real" rental in japand, and one of my in-laws, had those. Doesn't really change much.
(The "real" above is because I lived in share houses a couple of times)
You have no idea the relative luxury you're currently complaining about. Try a solid stainless steel prison toilet. They're torturously cold to sit on in the winter, and also shorter with a higher water level.
If you don't grab ahold of Mr. Winky before sitting down he's going to be bobbing in the water you're shitting into. Make sure you grab from the base of the balls, or they're just going to pliΓ© down into that icy water too.
Like why even make them like that other than punishment. They dont need to be like that.
I get they're prisoners and all, but have to hold your dick or it falls in the water seems like its above and beyond.
Stainless steel at least makes sense from a durability and safety perspective even if its always a chilly and uncomfortable experience.
No clue. A whole lot of the things they do are pretty crazy. It's definitely something more people should know more about.
We all hear "innocent until proven guilty" so many times and see things like CSI online where they do super magic science to make sure they got the right person. That isn't how the US works. You don't get a CSI team. You don't even get someone looking for evidence. The only way to get someone investigating the scene all looking for things that prove you didn't commit a crime or to show someone else was there is if you have the money to pay for a good lawyer and then even more to give them for them to hire someone to do that for you. And if it's something that could be a big piece of evidence but it would need CSI science stuff done? You have to pay a lab to do that too.
If you can't afford a lawyer, you get a "public defender." Their name is a lie. Almost none of them try to actually defend anyone. They're being paid some base amount and forced to do it. The real reason behind it is so there is someone to push through and file the legal paperwork that needs done on your end. That is all.
If you have a public defender, and you tell them that your cellphone or something from your place has evidence proving you had nothing to do with this crime they are not going to try to find that thing and look. That is not their job. They are not an investigator you are paying to do that. If your lucky they will inform the police. Unless the police hear something big and important, they are just going to brush it off. Everyone insists they're really innocent. They don't care.
Sit there for 18 months waiting for this to all somehow get cleared up. You didn't do anything wrong. Well, not this thing at least. You're an American. You're innocent until proven guilty. That's how it's supposed to work. It's not how it works at all. 95%+ of people end up pleaing to a lesser charge. Only 5% of so of cases go to trial. Because they don't want you to go to trial. They leave in you in jail for months to years threatening you with decades in prison. Then eventually your public defender comes in and says you're lucky and the Prosecutor is offering you a crazy deal and instead of the 20 years they've been threatening you with for almost 2 years now if you plea guilty to some lesser thing they will make it 5 years instead. After a while that sounds like a blessing. Better than 2 years sitting there hearing 20 over and over. A lot of the time if someone denies that they'll come back and offer 3. Maybe even 2 and time serves counts so you walk out in 18 days.
Pretty much everyone takes the deal. The deal means you're pleaing guilty. You did nothing wrong, and you're not a felon for life. Because you were poor. That's how the system works here. "Innocent until proven guilty" is for the rich. They can hire investigators and lawyers. They can pay for 'expert witnesses' to come in and testify how in their expert opinion as a whatever it couldn't have been them. It's literally paying people to come testify that they're innocent. Rich people get to do that and pretty much always make it doubtful enough they get off.
Poor people are targeted. Cops, prosecutes, judges all want great looking arrest and conviction numbers. People who can't afford to defend themselves are easier. They take a plea deal, and that means they're saying they're guilty of something, and that means they're convicted.
Then there's the fun of the for-profit prison system where everything from phone calls to boxers to soap to toilet paper can cost you money. If you don't have someone on the outside providing a whole lot of money, you live in rags. Everything costs money, and lots of money. The for-profit prisons are paif by the govs for each filthy criminal in a bed there, then they make extra contracting with phone companies, and vendors, and anything they can. They sell places the right to sell you overpriced shit.
Oh, and they sell you. Check out the 13th Amendment. If you've been convicted of a crime, any crime, it's legal for them to use you as slave labor. Tons of companies do it. They pay prisoners some insane amount like $1/hr to spend 40 hours/wk boxing up shit at some warehouse they have located inside the prison. If the prison tells you to go do some job and you say no, they can and will punish you for that. You are a slave and you do as told.
Don't forget the part where your cellmate is laying on his bunk 3 feet away with not a damn thing separating you.
Because it's beautiful.
You described it very poetic.
ass only orchestra
Indeed
Entertainment
Own it. I installed an amp and a reverb pedal in my toilet.
I got a whammy bar
Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?
hell if i know, i don't understand pokemons
Get a delay and a wah, homemade didgeridoo
(A rusty one?)
The simple answer is, porcelain is fairly durable, nonreactive and, well, smooth. You don't want a material that's prone to sticking in any way. The shape needs to be a certain way for the water to do away with... things, and not go everywhere.
That sucks when you have one of the THBPLTPLTBPHLTHLPTHPLTPPL ones in company, though.
It also needs to be cheaply mass producible. So making stuff from literal dirt is a pretty smart idea.
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Here you go, a quiet toilet with built in tp holder. And its free.
But if I take a shit in the forest and the bear hears it, do I get to meet the pope?
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Well, it's not like it's made of wood and have strings
I'm not shitting in Pinocchio
Do you think Pinocchio farts would sound more like a woodwind instead of a trombone?
It's Pinocchio, a lyre, perhaps a duet.
Slide whistle
Look dad! I'm a real toilet!
That's what she said
EDIT: I'll see myself out. What the fuck is wrong with me. I have to go. I'm going. Sorry, everyone! I'm leaving.
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Rules to live by:
- Don't be embarrassed by your body, nor the sounds and smells it makes. We are creatures of matter, not ethereal beings of light
- The toilet is a sacred place where social mores are relaxed. Just don't talk to other people while you're relieving yourself or getting your dick sucked
- Seriously, why are you on the phone in the bathroom? I'm trying to read in here!
- Wash your hands
- If you see someone leave a bathroom without washing their hands, and you see that person soon after with a group of people, it is your solemn doody to walk up to their companion, point at them with a fully extended arm, and say slightly louder than socially acceptable "THEY DIDN'T WASH THEIR HANDS". Walk away with no other comment
- But courtesy flush
- But you're allowed to communicate to the dick sucker. Communication is very important in sex
- But I'm also using my phone to read
- But use soap too
- But also slap their face before walking away
I did #5 (the embarrassing, not the slapping) to some high school kid in a mall a has been doing some work at. Dude used the original and walked right out. When i came out he was chatting up what looked like a classmate or friend. So I walked by them, close enough to say a quick aside to the girl, and walked on. Pointed directly at him and said "he didn't wash his hands" and left to the sound of her laughing at him. Or me. Dunno. He wasn't laughing tho
(I'm a middle-aged construction worker with a wedding ring and resting tired bastard face)
Because porcelain, in the shape of a bowl, is incredibly good at staying relatively clean and being easy to clean when it eventually does get dirty. Those are the most important properties you want for something that you literally shit into.
No thanks /s
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The thing that makes it echoy is what makes it easier to clean.
It is to teach people to be proud and loud
Yes they're made of pure trombonium.
factoid: Three modern toilet improvements were invented and patented in the late 1800s by Thomas Crapper, including the floating ballcock.
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Oh look, a shit post.
I once used a really nice bidet on a vacation to Europe. It wasn't the cheap ones that are offered in the US that are basically just toilet seat attachments, everything was built in. It was porcelain but the sides were stainless steel. There was no handle to flush the toilet, but when you sat down and let your arms hang by your side you would feel a slight protrusion on the right side that your fingers would naturally press and out popped a remote control that would start the cleaning process. You could select the water temperature, the spraying pattern, the air dry temperature and a couple of other things. There was no toilet paper involved at all and you would be completely clean and dry afterwards. It was also self cleaning, and pretty much soundproof. I started my session with a loud fart and it was barely audible. Oh, and when we first checked into the room there were rose petals in the water in the toilet. So quiet toilets are out there but they cost multiple thousands of dollars. But they're worth every penny.
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