dating app companies have different incentives than you, and you cant afford to pay them enough to align the two. I think this is inevitable and it always greatly surprises me when people actually find love over these apps
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I met a handful of people on dating apps, had some sex, and the relationships went basically nowhere. Every solid, long-term relationship I have had has come from going places and doing things with people. If I was single I'd start climbing again.
Tinder, Azar, Her, Hinge, match.com, meetic, Ok Cupid, Plenty of Fish, and The League are all owned by a single company.
The ratio of women to men on their dating apps are also wack.
Good lord they own basically all the major ones.
Also all the different “X People Meet” apps, but no Linux People Meet? 😭 /s
We meet here bro 😘
I met my girlfriend on IRC, we've been living together for 7 years now. She was trolling people with goatse pics and we started talking about philosophy and poetry etc and then it turned out that she's a super cute canadian girl. This is usually not the story we tell people when they ask how we met.
How is that not an anti-trust issue? Each one started as an independent company trying to add value by bringing something new to the table, and they bought them all up to eliminate the competition and enshittified them all with the same profit-gouging algorithms.
Not to mention the concerted effort they made to make in-person dating a social taboo so that everyone literally depends on the dating apps to find potential partners.
Back before I gave up on dating, when I was still on reddit, I can't tell you how many times I heard the same advice. "Don't approach people in person, nobody wants to be bothered. Just use the apps where you know they want to be approached."
That with the systematic minimization of the shittiness of the apps, and the victim blaming "just work on yourself bro, you must be a shit person if you can't find a partner, so you'd find a partner if you could just stop being a shit person."
Looking back, I wonder how much of that was astroturfing by the Match Group marketing department...
And they're fake hikers and travelers too. I met somebody irl who said one of their interests was eating food but they just go to the places for the vibes and not for the food. Whereas I'm the complete opposite, I would go to a crack den for the best food.
A date I had said their hobbies were walking and hiking among other things. Our 1st date was at a local park with a 20 step stair case that took her out... It was my first exposure to this bizarre labelling that goes on here.
There wasn't a 2nd lol
Humans are just animals at the end of the day. This is all a sexual display of fitness. Hiking and traveling tell people you're physically and financially fit. You can move around no issue. You are social. You are socially and physically healthy.
They lie a ton and show pics of hiking from 5 years ago and act like they can still do all that. Or they never could and the pics are deceiving... Regardless, it's just a game all genders are playing to show sexual fitness. It looks like carbon copies because it's the best way to communicate "my body moves well and I can afford luxury".
The best food is usually in places like that too. My home city has this literal hole in a wall mexican place. You know it's good when it's also a grocery store and nobody speaks good English except for the kids who are the wait staff. Best fucking food I've ever had and I'm gutted because they closed down 6 months later and I don't know if they moved or went out of business 😭😭😭
What's this "Helen Keller wasn't real" meme? I've never heard (or seen) it
Just a dumb conspiracy theory where people either think a) she wasn’t actually blind and deaf, or b) she didn’t actually write the books she wrote and shrugs everything she achieved.
https://www.distractify.com/p/is-helen-keller-real-conspiracy
Goes perfectly well to match the stupidity of a populus who commonly has "likes to go to church" in their profiles. OP must live somewhere MAGA-ey.
"Hellen Keller wasn't real" is an immediate swipe away from a profile. I don't care if they're joking or if they're actually a nut job conspiracy theorist. If the latter, obviously we're not gonna vibe, and if the former, that entire joke/line of thinking is prefaced on ableism and the idea that a deaf and blind woman could not have accomplished what she did, not to mention the erasure of a prominent socialist, suffragist, and activist. I fucking hate that joke.
This is the first I've ever heard about it, and I'm so confused
It started as a joke, and now there are actual people who believe that she was either not a real person, or that her accomplishments were faked. People with disabilities are already assumed to be lesser than able bodied people, and this particular trend is stripping away one of the most prominent examples to the contrary. It is also erasing one of the most prominent examples of a famous socialist woman in American history, and a southern American socialist woman at that. Her story is amazing, but more importantly, she is historically significant. She is an example to so many people, and she has been liberal-washed for a century, and now she's being erased entirely. It's disgusting.
A VERY prominent and UNAPOLOGETIC socialist. The way history has defanged her and turned her into a simpleton who learned to speak is an absolute appalling insult to the strong, principled woman she was.
Dating apps are the worst, the absolute worst, way to meet people. I met my husband in a chat room and that's fucking awful right? Dating apps are worse. Go on blind dates, set your friends up, go and scream in the middle of a park, all of those are better than dating apps. Humans don't work like catalogues.
He's got a point about carbon copy profiles, they all blur together after a while, and it's very difficult to find something interesting to talk about in a lot of them.
"fostering men until they find their forever homes."
I see this one at least 10 times a day.
I know it's meant to be positive but gives me horror to me, like Hansel and Gretel
Years ago, a friend of mine once had: "Seeking partner skilled in armed combat for the coming apocalypse. Must not be averse to cannibalism" as their bio.
Got 'em a couple DMs I think
at least "designed to be deleted" part of it is truthful. Nothing else to be done with that garbage program.
Hinge, Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty Of Fish and others are owned by one giant company called Match.com. You are not ugly, a monopoly just puts you down the pile by algorithm to prompt you to pay to increase your chances of more likes (that's not to say that making your profile look good doesn't matter). There are independent dating apps like Coffee and Bagel and Bumble, but either those apps don't have many people or copying Match's anti-consumer behaviour like Bumble does.
>Why can't I get a partner by sitting alone in my room and swiping?
>This must be the fault of women
You know, I’m very much for equality, but in this situation a woman can do exactly that and get loads of dates.
It’s the initial connection that is the highest barrier for men, after that, yeah, kinda need to leave the house to get a partner.
Meanwhile OP's profile

Dating apps belong to a trash can. Hobby is the best place to find a partner. Go to a local meet up to play board games, hike, cycle, jam, improv, debate or whatever. The only way left in the modern world
Hobby is the best place to find a partner.
no it fucking isn't. I can 100% guarantee the nerds reading this that your wife isn't going to appear in the progressive metal moshpit, the netrunner tournament or the climbing center...
well I mean, that last one has a chance of happening, but don't hit on women where they exercise for fuck sake. Also, Disregard females, acquire ascents.
I'm into ham radios. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've seen a woman?
Yeah... "Join a hobby group" is the the go-to answer for people who are devoid of ideas but still want to feel helpful.
Honestly, I think there's something to be said for going back to "little old lady in the community who matches up young singles."
I dunno, I’ve met people through my hobby, including my current partner. It’s sporadic but eh. The internet is a cesspit.
I honestly can't afford to lose my wife because there's no way I would find another partner in the modern dating scene. I feel like the bar is way higher than it was in the early 2000s.
I do find that dating apps make me feel sexist. I have to remind myself that the women on Hinge are not representative of the female populace, otherwise I get bitter.
Probably just messaging fake accounts/bots to make it look like women use the app but then real women get the flack for it
From multiple apps Hinge actually worked out the best for me despite having some traits that aren't ideal for dating apps (short, unemployed, autistic). The algorithm adapts quite quickly to what you like so I see mostly alternative people, nature friends and scientists. I've been using it for a few weeks and out of my 7 matches 5 were biologists.
The dude is right tho about sending likes and comments being useless, every match I got was from women liking me first. But that's where Hinge is better than other dating apps: you see who liked you without having to pay.
I spent years getting frustrated on the apps, now I'm ending up marrying my best friend's sister who I've known for 16 years and I was always too afraid to ask out. Turned out she was feeling the same way.
Life's weird when you're socially awkward.
Reminded me of a terrible joke.
Why couldn’t Hellen Keller drive a car?
Because she was a woman.
I mean.. most people are kind of boring. It's not surprising that most profiles will thus be kind of boring.
The biggest factors I think are
- You live someplace shitty.
- Your photos are bad. This is different from you are bad.
- Your profile has red flags.
- You're writing unimpressive messages.
The apps suck and are a capitalist nightmare, but there's stuff you can do to improve the odds as a free user.
I just remembered some guy on lemmy that was like "i can't get any dates on these things!" and when pressed, he revealed that he'd talk to women on there for a couple weeks, and then was surprised when nothing happened. No shit. You gotta ask people out.
At some point I think they were designed to be deleted but there's more money in the opposite. Somewhere along the road, they realized and made a shift and they got shitty.