this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2026
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ADHD

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Hello, I have a big problem that interferes with every aspect of my life. And I want to ask you all if you experience this too and/or you have any ideas on how to improve this behavior?

The Problem

When I do anything interesting, or anything that just isn't completely boring, I can't stop when it's time to stop and start the doing the next thing. I always think, something like "Just five minutes more" and then I sometimes finish hours later than I had planned. This breaks all time-sensitive plans and also causes me to go to sleep far too late.

I don't think that its simple procrastination, because what I feel when I do it, is not about not wanting to start the next thing, but about not wanting to stop the current thing.

List of things I already do / have already tried

  • Setting up alarms that remind me that I need to stop doing the current thing and start doing the next thing
  • Creating schedules
  • Configuring the Wifi Router to turn of at certain times: This is very effective (when I have taken out my SIM card before), but its only helping with cutting the wifi at the end of the day for bedtime, not other time sensitive tasks that are necessary to even enable me to sleep on time (like eating dinner early enough)
  • Buffer time: Most of the time I can't get my self to view the buffer deadline as the actual deadline
  • Reading books about habits: I read some books about habits, but these books are mostly about starting an activity, or don't starting an activity at all, but I need to do certain things, and stop doing them on time.
  • This list is probably incomplete
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[–] pHr34kY@lemmy.world 6 points 4 hours ago

You stayed up until 2AM configuring the router, didn't you?

[–] SorryImLate@piefed.social 6 points 5 hours ago

My solutions for task switching depend on what the activities are. Is the issue that the current activity is that exciting, or that the new activity is that boring?

Some examples of things that help me:

  1. When I can't get off my phone, I switch the display from colour to greyscale, and about 15 minutes later it's much easier to put the device down. NB make a shortcut so that it's easy to change the colours without leaving the app you're in.

  2. If an alarm is really important, I put the alarm clock on the other side of the room. Close enough that I can't ignore it but far enough that I have to stand up and walk over to switch it off.

  3. I try to stop working before I have finished all my ideas. For example, if I'm writing a report, I stop at a point when I have e.g. finished a section and have ideas for the next section. I'll jot down some keywords or make a list for the next section but I won't flesh it out. That way, I can stop working because I know I'm not going to lose my ideas, plus starting again after lunch / the next working day is low pressure because I know what I'm going to do first.

  4. If I need to do housework, I might set a time limit and "race myself" i.e. see how much I can do in 10 minutes. This additional challenge means my brain is engaged in trying to find the fastest way to get stuff done, which it apparently enjoys ¯\(ツ)

  5. Another idea for starting something boring is to promise myself that I can stop at any time (and stick to it!). I might say, let's just put this cup in the kitchen. Sometimes that's all I can manage, and that's OK. More often though, just getting a bit of momentum means I can do another step e.g. fetch the dirty dishes in the lounge, then wipe the counters, then unpack the dishwasher, then repack it, etc. Important is not to force myself beyond my limits, then my brain is less likely to resist the next time I decide to do just 1 small task.

  6. Sometimes it feels as if my body is stuck outside of my control. In that situation, I focus on intentionally moving just 1 body part, e.g. a little finger. Once I've managed that, I move all my fingers on that hand, then my hand, then both hands, etc. It sounds bizarre but generally that 1st focused movement is the hardest. Each next step is a bit easier until eventually I can stand up and move away.

  7. I combine activities to keep my brain sufficiently stimulated e.g. listen to a podcast or music while doing something repetitive. So when task switching, my 1st step is fun, deciding what I want to listen to.

  8. I try to avoid digital content that I identify as being addictive or very difficult to break out of. Natasha Dow Schüll defines what she calls the "ludic loop", which is an activity that is solitary, doesn't include natural breaks, doesn't have a definite end, and has random rewards.

Side note: For more information, I can recommend the 1st 2 episodes of the podcast "Your Undivided Attention", in which she was interviewed. The episodes are " What happened in Vegas" and "Should've stayed in Vegas".

  1. For really important tasks, set up a body double session in advance, with someone who will be upset if you don't turn up.

  2. Finally, this trick is a bit hit-or-miss for me, but some people swear by it. ADHD'ers tend to be better able to do things for others than for ourselves. So it may help you to think about past you and future you as other people. In particular, it might help to think "I really need to do xyz for future me". Sometimes I'm so grateful to past me, other times she's a real 🤬

Thank you for coming to my TED talk 😂 Hopefully you made it to the end and found something useful.

[–] MagnificentSteiner@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

I have the same issue and my understanding is that I don't want to stop the stimulation/distraction, especially to do something mundane. I have learned though that mundane things can be stimulating in their own way, especially the satisfaction of getting them done well. That said, they're probably less stimulating than the distraction but that can be good too as a break from constantly hyper-focusing.

This is often compounded by other typical ADHD symptoms like time-blindness, out of sight out of mind, lack of impulse control, defiance and hyper-focusing. Just separating these things out and putting names to them has started to help me control them better (although still not well).

[–] 18107@aussie.zone 11 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

You're not alone. I dropped out of university partly because I was making a Minecraft mod instead of studying. I knew study was important and I knew the tasks were interesting, I just couldn't stop.

Something that forces a pause (router schedule) can help initiate a task change, but that doesn't stop you thinking about what you were just doing. Sometimes you just don't have the executive function to be able to change task.

I never found a good solution until I had an effective medication.
I'm certainly not fixed now, but the same strategies are a little more effective since. Coffee (and other stimulants) can assist too, just don't rely on them as a miracle cure.

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 2 points 5 hours ago

Tbf being into Minecraft taught me more about networking and computers than school did.

[–] ryven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Do you have a dog? The only thing that works for me is to have someone interrupt me and tell me to do something else, but my dog is capable of being that someone. Set an alarm that says "walk dog" and you'll only have to do it a couple days in a row before your dog will interrupt you on their own. Bonus, the walks are good for both of you.

[–] thezeesystem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I trained my service dog to harass me if I been on my computer for to long. She knows precisely how to make me stop. Honestly don't knock how she learned it but she gets in my view and stares at me intensely.

For me having a dog does help with those problems of being to hyper fixated on my computer for to long.

[–] Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe 1 points 2 hours ago

Gets in my face and stares intently

Hahahaha, that's awesome!

[–] lIlIlIlIlIlIl@lemmy.world 18 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Your brain has found something rewarding in these times.

So the question becomes: how do you make the next “boring” thing just barely more rewarding than the new interesting?

[–] FeatherConstrictor@sh.itjust.works 6 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Can you give an example? Like how do I make going back to work more enjoyable than the videos or hobbies I do during my lunch break

[–] lIlIlIlIlIlIl@lemmy.world 1 points 55 minutes ago

That is a question only you can answer for yourself.

I wish for you the best of luck in everything you choose to do.

[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 5 points 10 hours ago

If you can, reorganize your tasks so you handle the most unpleasant or difficult stuff before the break. Maybe leave one specific task you enjoy the most for right after the break so you can use it to kickstart your brain back into work mode.

[–] schmorpel@slrpnk.net 5 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

I experience the transition from one activity to another a little like a jump into cold water. It's just very intense and I guess that's why my mind wants to avoid it. I learn to better anticipate and vow to accept the brief mental pain of starting something new and it makes it easier to jump to new activities.

I also used cigarettes to 'mark' the transition between activities. They help, and also are rotten bad for your health, expensive, and stink like hell.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Cigarettes are a huge part of my scheduling system.

Would not recommend.

[–] Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe 1 points 2 hours ago

I hate cigarettes. Grew up with a chain-smoking parent.

But hey, if that's the mechanism that you've found that works for you, great!

And I hope you'll be able to find a better-for-you mechanism, while accepting that life is trade-offs, and we can't expect to have ideal solutions to everything.

[–] Clicheallday@lemmy.world 13 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Inertia: objects in motion stay in motion (and vice versa). I work with a lot of kids with this trait. I don't have a quick fix, or one size fits all answer, because it's different for different people. Kudos to you for recognizing it and trying so many strategies so far. Do you have anyone you can be accountable to? Sibling, friend, partner, etc that you trust? You could ask them to remind you of your goals, provide support or praise when you are successful. Positive reinforcement feels great. Also, you could work on reframing or renaming it. For example, calling it "pause" and not "stop" and then telling yourself exactly when you get to "press play" again. Like, I'm gonna pause on this activity at 4 and I get to return to it at 7.

Just a couple ideas 🫶 Good luck out there.

[–] derek@infosec.pub 3 points 7 hours ago

I recognize reframing as an emotional regulation tactic. I struggle with a similar issue as OP and haven't considered treating my momentum management as an emotional attachment I have the ability to reframe. It made immediately intuitive sense to me though. I'm going to try that out. Thanks!

P.S. The more therapy and self-work I do the more it seems we're all still kids wrestling with coping mechanisms and survival strategies that no longer work for us. Wading through different stages of trying to understand why and (hopefully) seeking alternatives.

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 6 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Don't be offended, but I think you might have ADHD.

I've lost hours on tasks that i should have stepped back from, because i had the fire that could not be quenched pushing me to keep doing it until exhaustion.

One thing you could try, is taking the perspective that it is more efficient to stop the task, because you give your brain time to process, adapt, and plan. This makes the next session even more productive. So it's not bad to take a break, it's actually necessary to finish the task.

[–] Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe 3 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Uh, this is the ADHD community, lol.

I'd say it's a very strong that OP has ADHD given the behaviour.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 6 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

I completely understand what you're going through.

The one thing that concerns me is that you keep setting reminders, and completely ignoring them. Lord knows I've started playing a game and suddenly realized it was 10 hours later, but when the reminder goes off, you must obey it.

You set the timers because YOU WANT yourself to be on time. When the reminder goes off, you're saying past me was wrong, I'll do what I want. Future you eventually realizes past you was right all along and you repeat the cycle.

I think you need to make the choice to follow your own rules. Set reminders early and often. Give yourself a 15 minute warning so you can find a good point to stop what you're doing. When the next alarm goes off 15 minutes later, you shut it down no matter what.

Living with this is not easy, but it only gets harder when you sabotage yourself.

[–] Zarobi@aussie.zone 1 points 2 hours ago

I like to set multiple cascading annoying reminders so I can choose to ignore them and 5 more minutes myself into next week

[–] schmorpel@slrpnk.net 6 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I experience the same problem. I am a grown ass woman and functional in most areas of my life. I deliver my freelance projects on time. I've studied in the university and finished all the assignments. I keep animals and plants alive. I've raised a child. But something in my brain compels me, absolutely compels me, to ignore the good advice I give myself at least some of the time and binge on something - can be different things from substance to activities to mind obsessions. While being completely aware that 'it only gets harder when you sabotage yourself'. And that is what the whole ADHD issue comes from. That you can't will away the executive dysfunction.

So it's good for you that you manage to obey the reminder, but not really possible that easily for many people. Besides being aware that you want this for yourself (this does help me as well when I remember to remember it), what else would you say contributes to you being successful in this?

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Oh I am hardly successful at it. I have certain core rules. I don't remember actively deciding that these were rules, they just developed over time.

Of course there's the reminders. If I set one, it must be important, so obey the reminders. Also, I have a spending rule. Anything that's more than a few bucks, I'm not allowed to buy it the first time I think about it. The second time I think about it, I do research. If I haven't completely moved on from the idea, then I'll buy it.

I'm still broke and running late, but it's better than it could be.

[–] Nomad@infosec.pub 3 points 9 hours ago

Try reframing that not as stopping but instead as keeping moving, like knocking off the next thing on the list. Try making that first step out in your head and make that as small and simple as possible. Want to move on from what you are doing? The first step is to get up from where you are sitting... Nothing more. This is about friction and doing just that first step that you premised you would.

[–] princess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 10 hours ago

I'm guessing the next things aren't fun / interesting / dopamine-giving, or at least aren't as much so as the current thing. adhd loves dopamine.

is there anything you enjoy that's also short you could use as a kind of treat or reward to entice your brain into stopping doing the current thing? go for a walk outside, pet a kitty, literally eat a snack you love? might help your brain with transitioning