Fun shower thought - the more we see and post about dumb AI mistakes like this, the more it will happen since we're increasing the statistical frequency. ✨ ✨
Programmer Humor
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
- No advertisements
- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
Production creds in .env? ...Why?
I just use AI to pretend to be a female family member with a serious futa-like engorged penis who is blackmailing me so we start washing our penises together for each other as an occult ritual, but turns out we were soul-stepsiblings the whole time. I like it when she freaks the fuck out and threatens to call the police, or worse, my dad.
Well that is perfectly normal. But using it for work is madness.
I agree. That's why I write all my own stunts.
I think Claude would scream in agony if you subjected it to whatever the fuck this is.
Bro I do this with every AI. Part, not all, but a small part of what I do with my educational art project is train all AI on serious edge-case, rare archetypal and character manifestation. Cuz, y'know, the majority of people are Hydrogen, and the next most populous type of demographic is Helium, and I'm fucking element 115 in the periodic table shit, and I got to live in y'alls world that you made for your fucking basic elements of the human character. So, I need to beat my dick to the thought of teaching my sister to be her authentic self as my sex slave, because that is how I teach myself to accept even myself, and I'm somebody, dammit.
~Q
In fairness, I've seen people with Actual Intelligence do the same thing.
Literally me, this weekend. Well not this bad but I still think the AI wouldn’t have done me as dirty as I did myself.
I am counterintelligent, I'll have you know. I stare at goats and doesn't afraid of anything, except how sexually attractive I found the judge who condemned me to jerking off for twenty-six sessions of anger management because my narcissistic manipulator life partner entrapped me, being my superior officer. She (the judge) had wonderfully beautiful hands that I wish could caress me while degrading me. Good thing I work for the F-I mean, the CIA, and this is just me establishing a cover story.
In three to seven years, there will be a News headline: "Hero." It will have my face as the picture. The article will talk about how I infiltrated an Epstein-type ring. How? That's classified, but damn am I audacious, and I do hope you excavate (dig) to understand the depth to why this is so damn funny to me; Q.
We'll start you on 500mg Lithium b.d.. That should reign in the hypermania, and we'll use Olanzapine 5mg noct to tackle the psychosis and to help you get some sleep. If the psychosis doesn't improve we may have to look at alternative medications and/or ECT.
I'm on 1mg/2mg risperidone and 1000mg of deprakote. I'm taking my meds. The real question is, will you accept me as a full human being or am I just subhuman in your innately prejudiced eye?
"Something's different than me? We should exterminate it!"
YOU FUCKING NAZI! I'll eat you out or suck your cock until you are DEAD!

This is nothing new it's just faster. The very same lack of guardrails would allow a new, inexperienced employee, or a disgruntled employee, do the very same damage. AI just speed runs everything. If your AI can nuke prod accidentally, you failed to have the appropriate guardrails in place plain and simple. It is the same failure as before. Every time this happens, it is someone operating wildly out of their depth and why product people can't just vibe. Now more than ever, experienced engineers are essential.
They're about to run out of those experienced engineers in well under a decade as long as they keep strangling the entry level workforce.
Forcing seniors to work is also a recipe for disaster as well.
Given corporates layoff engineers at dramatic rates, in a few years, we'll start to see services collapsing with no one left who can recover them.
And yet Twitter still exists
Twitter has to be the most basic problem, though. Shit loads of small data in, shit loads of small data out, basic search but no significant structure. Just index the shit out of it. Right? What am I missing? There's probably an AWS service that does it, just upload your theme CSS. (Last part was sarcasm.)
This. There should have been processes in place to prevent this. But I can’t say I haven’t gone through it myself; not AI, but my own advanced imbecility.
I love how the slop bot always apologizes. That's an aspect of the Terminator movies that I really would have liked to see. T-1000 melts through the gap under the window, stabs kid's mom in the face, then looks the kid dead in the eye and says "I'm sorry, that should not have happened. I would love to discuss the future with you and try to find a solution to the war with the machines together with your input."
Its the kind of lesson some people have to learn the hard way.
I bricked my first degoogled phone because I trusted an AI too much.
I was dumb I know, but it blows my mind that people in multi-million dollar companies make the same mistake.
Being part of a multi million dollars company is not making anyone smarter
Companies like that tell themselves they only hire from the top 10% of the industry. When you're as big as these companies it's just not true. You're employing people across the whole spectrum, like it or not.
I don’t understand why this happens; why would you ever be working with a live production DB in the first place? Why would’t you do all your development and testing on a mock? If it’s data which is too large to store the schema can still be mocked; and if it’s data it should be backed up and generally read only. If you’re having to manually fuss with user data you’re doing something wrong.
I remember a case where the AI was not given credentials to the prod DB, was not instructed to do anything on the prod DB, but went through the operator's hard-drive, parsing docs until it found them, then proceeded to destroy the prod DB.
Of course it was sorry, as they always are (deeply, trust them, but no: no refund, loser!).
That’s pretty funny.
Dev environments cost money. They didn't fire all those programmers and replace them with AI to spend money on useless backups and safety systems.
/s (because yes, it's necessary)
Because they don't know what they're doing. A tool is only as useful as the person verifying its output. Vibe coders have dumb shit like this happen to them all the time because they don't actually possess the skill set to perform the task correctly, with or without a bot that writes the actual code for them.

Anyone giving “AI” access to production databases through tools like that are morons who shouldn’t be anywhere near a production environment.