this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2026
812 points (99.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

41872 readers
3096 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 116 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Yeah. We're unhappy because your slow ass won't get out of the way! XD

[–] UnCollaredCarrot@piefed.zip 89 points 2 months ago (4 children)
[–] starchylemming@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago

wow, this dude is everywhere!

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 71 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

(but also: What if you were moving toward a light source? Wouldn't that mean you get to see faster? 🤔)

[–] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The light you see would be blue shifted because of the speed you're going and become gamma rays for you. Radio waves would shift to visible light. So you would see radio.

If you would move that fast on the ground, you'd slam into air molecules at light speed, causing a huge shockwave like a continuous Hiroshima nuke going of. That would make you sad.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Any moth expert wanna comment on that now that it's moth month?

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 49 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Do these fine gentlemen look unhappy to you?

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My god! Look at their form.

[–] HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

He's cheating! Look! There's a hop, see?! There's another one!

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

You're not a race walker at all, you're nothing but a common jogger.

[–] kaklerbitmap@lemmy.world 36 points 2 months ago
[–] RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago

"People in a hurry are experiencing stress."

[–] craftrabbit@lemmy.zip 29 points 2 months ago (5 children)

--rant start--

I hate it I hate it such a shitty implication. This headline implies that walking fast makes you sad, but I'm willing to bet a lot that the study didn't actually find such a causal connection.

My guess is that the causal link is stress here. Stressed people walk faster and are also sad.

So make the headline say "scientists say stressed people walk fast" or something because someone will try walking slowly in hopes of that bringing happiness

--rant end--

[–] bryophile@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I agree with your rant, this kind of title is annoying.

I do however also think that doing slow mindful walks will help against stress, so the implication that slow walking brings happiness is not a bad implication. Stressed out fast walking people really should try it. There's no reason to be in a hurry all of the time.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But the headline doesn't imply a causal connection, it's your own bias that does

I read it and immediately assumed it's because stressed people walk faster

[–] Wataba@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The tagline is still making a massive leap of logic to a clickbaity conclusion.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Hmmm actually ☝️🤓
Sonic don't walk fast, he runs fast.

Because he's addicted to ~cocaine~

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

He’s not addicted. He can quit anytime he wants. He just really loves doing it.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] WereCat@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago

True. Walking fast makes me very unhappy with all the slow walkers

[–] d00ery@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Analyses for specific causes of death showed that participants with low walking speed had about a threefold increased risk of cardiovascular death.

https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.b4460

[–] Gormadt@slrpnk.net 8 points 2 months ago

If I walk fast enough I can outrun death

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 18 points 2 months ago

Yeah I'm unhappy about all these slow mother fuckers that are always in my way.

[–] FuyuhikoDate@feddit.org 17 points 2 months ago (3 children)

The problem with being faster than light is that you only see darkness...

[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Dam that's deep

[–] Dotdashdot@feddit.uk 3 points 2 months ago

Depression must be fast af then…

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It used to be that when my girlfriend and I were walking, she would always be rushing me by walking much faster. After starting my current job, I've become the fast walker, always having to slow down for her.

Uhhh I'm not sure I like the implication of this is

[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

You know...

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

Idk I walk pretty fast and I’m pretty happy, aside from my crippling depression.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

Depending on how slow the people in front of me are, I'm also more homicidal! At least Sonic has a lethal spin dash for such occasions.

[–] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] workerONE@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe cognitive decline makes you more happy

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] QualifiedKitten@discuss.online 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So, you're telling me that if I just walk slower, I'll be happier?

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Have you tried just walking slower?

[–] Dotdashdot@feddit.uk 6 points 2 months ago

Got yelled at by the twat behind me, wouldn’t recommend.

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 8 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Honestly I’ve been very conscious of this lately as a fast walker and it turns out even when I’m in the best mood it’s just fucking painful to walk slow. I feel the same way driving slow in a car with a turbo — the car wants to move fast.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 8 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Some of y'all have never watched a 200kg / 440lb southern woman walk. She is not happy. And I'm not happy to be walking behind her.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 months ago

Now I know why I walk fast

[–] LoonyLenny@lemdro.id 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Gotta go pee!

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But in sonic world, happy people run fast, sad people skate.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] 4grams@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Tracks, I walk so fast it makes people upset with me. I just hate wasting time, why not get where you are going quickly. I’m also deeply unhappy.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] thatKamGuy@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago

Lemmy only accepts bespoke, artisanal, hand-crafted shitposts.

[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

said… people content to be slow? Or… might these be… most kindly… and not shaming anyone… lazy assed bitches?

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This can’t be true although I only have anecdotal evidence to back up my claim.

It’s me. I’m unhappy and a very slow walker.

[–] avg@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 months ago

Correlation does not imply causation, in this case it doesn't mean that sad people walk fast. A few years ago there was a similar study that said that people that walked faster were healthier or something, the reality was that younger people walk faster, they also happen to be healthier than older people.

In this case, it's entirely possible that younger people are fucking depressed due to the state of everything.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Lanske@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

This must be. I always walk fast or even run and im sad as fuck

load more comments
view more: next ›