Yeah I'm unhappy about all these slow mother fuckers that are always in my way.
this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2026
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Analyses for specific causes of death showed that participants with low walking speed had about a threefold increased risk of cardiovascular death.
If I walk fast enough I can outrun death
Idk I walk pretty fast and I’m pretty happy, aside from my crippling depression.
Yeah. We're unhappy because your slow ass won't get out of the way! XD
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Some of y'all have never watched a 200kg / 440lb southern woman walk. She is not happy. And I'm not happy to be walking behind her.
(insert your mom joke here)
Or really anything Bundy said in Married with Children while at work.
Never been to Africa so I wouldn't know. Or do you mean South America or Australia?
Southern US. Race doesn't matter. White, black, brown or whatever. The walk is the same. Not many 200kg women in Africa.
said… people content to be slow? Or… might these be… most kindly… and not shaming anyone… lazy assed bitches?
Do these fine gentlemen look unhappy to you?
My god! Look at their form.
He's cheating! Look! There's a hop, see?! There's another one!
You're not a race walker at all, you're nothing but a common jogger.
(but also: What if you were moving toward a light source? Wouldn't that mean you get to see faster? 🤔)
The light you see would be blue shifted because of the speed you're going and become gamma rays for you. Radio waves would shift to visible light. So you would see radio.
If you would move that fast on the ground, you'd slam into air molecules at light speed, causing a huge shockwave like a continuous Hiroshima nuke going of. That would make you sad.
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Saw this in the news a few days ago.
--rant start--
I hate it I hate it such a shitty implication. This headline implies that walking fast makes you sad, but I'm willing to bet a lot that the study didn't actually find such a causal connection.
My guess is that the causal link is stress here. Stressed people walk faster and are also sad.
So make the headline say "scientists say stressed people walk fast" or something because someone will try walking slowly in hopes of that bringing happiness
--rant end--
I agree with your rant, this kind of title is annoying.
I do however also think that doing slow mindful walks will help against stress, so the implication that slow walking brings happiness is not a bad implication. Stressed out fast walking people really should try it. There's no reason to be in a hurry all of the time.
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But the headline doesn't imply a causal connection, it's your own bias that does
I read it and immediately assumed it's because stressed people walk faster
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I didn't even think about taking the title seriously but now that you say it, it does sound ridiculous. I wonder if it's bait for people to come in explain causation (serious) to drum up engagement, or if it's actually just dumb.
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Tracks, I walk so fast it makes people upset with me. I just hate wasting time, why not get where you are going quickly. I’m also deeply unhappy.
It used to be that when my girlfriend and I were walking, she would always be rushing me by walking much faster. After starting my current job, I've become the fast walker, always having to slow down for her.
Uhhh I'm not sure I like the implication of this is
You know...
True. Walking fast makes me very unhappy with all the slow walkers
"People in a hurry are experiencing stress."
Now I know why I walk fast
Hmmm actually ☝️🤓
Sonic don't walk fast, he runs fast.
Because he's addicted to ~cocaine~
He’s not addicted. He can quit anytime he wants. He just really loves doing it.
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This must be. I always walk fast or even run and im sad as fuck
Depending on how slow the people in front of me are, I'm also more homicidal! At least Sonic has a lethal spin dash for such occasions.
The problem with being faster than light is that you only see darkness...
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Lemmy only accepts bespoke, artisanal, hand-crafted shitposts.
Only until you are running so fast the runner's high kicks in and you are in heaven.
I've almost never felt that, sadly.
I guess I could remove the comma from there.
Honestly I’ve been very conscious of this lately as a fast walker and it turns out even when I’m in the best mood it’s just fucking painful to walk slow. I feel the same way driving slow in a car with a turbo — the car wants to move fast.
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