Lol still not enough
The Onion and other satire w/ layers
For posting satire from The Onion and other similar sources.
redundancy, but not for its own sake
Human crafted content only please! If reporting a violation or suspicious content please provide evidence in the report or a direct message. Thank you.
Be nice. All instance rules apply.
Rules:
- Be respectful. Everyone should feel welcome here.
- No bigotry - including racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or xenophobia.
- No Ads / Spamming.
- No pornography.
Règles :
- Soyez respectueux. Tout le monde doit se sentir le bienvenu ici.
- Pas de bigoterie - y compris le racisme, le sexisme, le capacitisme, l’homophobie, la transphobie ou la xénophobie.
- Pas de publicités / Pas de spam.
- Pas de pornographie.
Just in: fifa doubles the double points for the US. O ehm, and -1 if you play against the US. Also red cards for everybody who's not the US. Also free Fifa World Peace Price if you are president of the US. Go USA!
rofl. lmao even.
🥲
What World Cup soccer really needs is to be more like quidditch from Harry Potter. In quidditch, they have a golden snitch, and catching it ends the game and immediately awards that team the equivalent of 15 goals.
Only, instead of a golden snitch, they have FIFA president Gianni Infantino, and instead of catching him, they just have the country leaders of the respective teams try to call Infantino on the phone. And whoever he decides to answer, their team gets 15 goals and the game instantly ends.
Just like in Harry Potter, quidditch was made to make Harry Potter the only important person, this new rule would make Donald Trump and Gianni Infantino the only important people in soccer.
Man, Quidditch is such a garbage theoretical game lol
I remember from the first time I read about the golden snitch in the books, I was like, "Oh, fuck off."
The worst part is that the game is a legitimate game if you just take the snitch out and add time periods. It's flying soccer where there are additional magic balls trying to knock the shit out of everybody.
That means that Rowling knew what she was doing. She created a real game, and then ruined it on purpose.
to be honest the snitch was required or the entire sport would be filled with gymbros like american football is
We need two foals that will absolutely RAM into everyone and four foal controllers with hay and a makeshift saddle on each team
and the snitch can be a jumping spider
the seeker was created so the sport wasnt actually just dominated by beefcakes and gymbros but had actual strategy
"US team and fans get to bring guns to the game."
Yeehaw!!
We need the equivalent of a three point line added to soccer.
Make it so if the goalie scores, it's worth 5 points.
They had that in one of the professional indoor soccer leagues in the late 80s/early 90s. I believe it was the CISL (Continental Indoor Soccer League). I didn't like it at all.